The Trump Effect

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anxiety, being present, chaos, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, Donald Trump, Fear, future, growing up, human behaviour, human nature, humanity, illusion of control, impatient, integrity, life, Life's like that, living in the moment, panic, peace, politics, Truth

You lose your grip and then you slip into the masterpiece.

~ Leonard Cohen

I’d like to tell you that I’m even-tempered. That I keep a cool head when my patience or my sense of right and wrong are being tested. That the minute I feel my jaw clench in anger, I am able to say some kind of catch phrase like Breathe or Let It Go and I’m magically transported to the present where the stuff I’m losing my cool about hasn’t happened yet and may never ever happen at all. But I’d be lying.

Truth is, this is something I’m always trying to grow into and although I’m getting better at it, I may never master it. But that’s ok as long as I’m trying, right?

What seems funny to me is that when I’m in the midst of ‘losing it,’ I feel perfectly justified. Yet when I see someone else behave in a similar manner, My mouth forms the word WOW and I think to myself, ‘What a wacko.’

The Donald and how some of us react to him is a good example of this. “Oh those bad Canadians, they’re really screwing us over in the milk industry and softwood lumber industry by doing this and that and the bad Mexicans, something to do with chickens blah, blah, blah…and so I’m going to renegotiate to get us a better deal or just pull out of NAFTA all together.”

And then chaos ensues and people are running around to research if what he is saying is really true and if he can actually do what he says he going to do and the news is consumed with the silliest debates, things we all thought we were clear on like is the sky really blue and we wonder well is it and then we think, hey wait a minute… Ugh I GOT CAUGHT UP IN THIS AGAIN!

I’m seriously starting to wonder if he is a genius in the sense that he can so easily get us so wound up and I bet he’s having a nap, or reading the paper or doing laps in a pool, or worse working on something he doesn’t want the public to know about, while we are reacting to a non issue!

Well as it turns out, he can’t just pull out of NAFTA. The worst he can do is sign an executive order that indicates he would like to pull out in six months and then it would go through this huge process and many others would have to want to do the same – bottom line – it’s a process that goes way beyond Donald’s mere wishes…

Anyway, my point really has nothing to do with NAFTA or Donald Trump or politics or how we should navigate these issues. It merely serves as a globally recognizable example of something I struggle with daily – to not immediately react to a situation, to not get pulled into someone else’s chaos, to just breathe, stay in the present and respond in a caring and appropriate way.

` DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

What’s the thing you struggle with? Can you think of a good Trump illustration for it? 😉

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A Little Bit Of Duct Tape And It’s All Good…

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200 words, Baseboard, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, duct tape, flaws, generalist, good enough, impatient, perfection, quick fix

“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” – Steven Wright

I can relate to the above quote.

I hate to admit it.

But it’s true.

I’m a generalist. And unless I’m totally enthralled with something, I learn just enough to be dangerous.

Like when I learned (and ‘learned’ is a very generous term here) to play the guitar. I learned 16 chords. I practiced till my fingers bled – yes. But when someone tried to teach me to pick individual notes on individual strings, I quickly dismissed the endeavor.

It was good enough for me to happily strum a few tunes.

I’m not a perfectionist and if something doesn’t work perfectly the first time, I make do, at least for a time.

To do otherwise would make me crazy.

Would make me obsess, get angry, be unreasonable.

So when my tap has dripped I’ve collected the water in a container. When the vacuum hose had a tear I’ve taped it up. When the chain on the toilet thingamajig broke, I’ve used twist ties.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Shhhh don’t tell anyone, but some of my baseboards are held in place with duct tape…

…and I’m OK with that.

The Flip-Side

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Diana Schwenk, impatient, Personality trait, sensitive, two-sided coin

English: Both sides of a coin featuring Antoninus Pius, from the Mendesian nome. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It seems to me that every personality trait has a good side and a bad side.

Like the two sides of a coin – it depends how it lands in the toss.

For example, my daughter is a beautiful, gentle-spirited generous soul.

Once when she was around 12 or 13 she said that she wished she wasn’t so sensitive, that she was tougher – more like me.

Her feelings were easily hurt by what some people said about her. I remember telling her that there were two sides to this trait of hers.

One – she could be easily hurt,

and two – she would always be careful not to hurt another.

I asked her if she liked the latter about herself. She said she did.

I asked her if she could live without that quality and she said no.

It’s important to her to be caring.

This concept seems to work with every trait. 

Alarm Clock 3 (Photo credit: Alan Cleaver)

Say someone pays close attention to detail and takes the time to make sure everything is right.

If they’re an accountant this is awesome!

If you’re waiting for them to finally decide what to order on the menu (TICK TOCK), it can be crazy-making!

This brings me to one of my traits.

I’m impatient. Line-ups make my brain haemorrhage.

Traffic jams make me want to scream out loud.

Most of my life, I’ve been told I need to be more patient.

“Aha!”, you may be saying.

What possible good side exists with that trait? Well I’m glad you asked!

Impatient people are less resistant to change.

Impatient people see a goal and if they’re on board with it, it will soon be done.

Impatient people think on their feet and rarely look back when they’ve made a decision.

Ok now you may be thinking, “She’s just making excuses so she doesn’t have to change.”

Impatient is part of who I am. I’m not likely to change but I can adapt.

I can change my behaviour. I can have my little temper tantrum on the inside instead of lashing out at the closest living thing.

I can find ways to be productive or get other things done while I’m waiting for (fill in the blank).

Waiting just feels like a waste of time to an impatient person like me.

Michaela and me

And just as I asked my daughter once a few years back, I ask myself now:

Would I be willing to give up ‘the doer’ that I am so that I could be more patient?

And the answer is a resounding NO!

So I embrace this part of me.

I accept who I am.

But I do check my behaviour.

I am accountable to the people in my life and want to be respectful.

After all I want them to be respectful and accountable for their actions toward me too.

What’s the one trait you have that works for you?

What makes it beautiful?

How has it been ugly?