The Storm Creates Space for Love and Compassionate Action

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aging, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, family, Fear, growing up, hope, kindness, life, living in the moment, love, parents, Relationships, Stuff my parents used to say and do

Mike, Dad and Mom

Life isn’t always fair,

Mom and Dad

Something I heard said, while growing up in my hometown of Chateauguay many times. And it isn’t fair, it certainly doesn’t seem to be at times.

We plan, we work and we dream about the life we are building, and things don’t always work out the way we hoped. Sometimes it’s better, sometimes it crashes down on us like the destructive force of a storm. Yet, sometimes when the storm has passed, we look back and are able to say, “if not for the storm, I wouldn’t have learned (fill in the blank).”

I’m learning that in the storm, in spite of its force, in spite of my fears, I have to be brave. I have to trust that things will settle down, and I have to believe things may even be better than they were before.

The storm wakes us up. It shakes our foundations, and causes us to pay attention. It reveals what is important. It reprioritizes our priorities. And it creates a huge space for love and compassionate action.

Mom is teaching me this. My brother is showing me this, through this frightening time of transitioning Mom to a retirement home.

A new stage in life. A profound sense of not knowing and loss of autonomy.  A shaking up of a life hard-worked for, painstakingly planned for, and callously turned upside down.

Yet love is there. Courage to believe is there. Hope that it may even be better than it currently is in this storm, is there.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Mom and Mike, I am so proud of you. You may feel fear and helplessness, but I see your courage, love and hope; and I know that Dad does too. I love you!

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Kindness and Friendship

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200 words, being right, community, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, Fear, generosity, growing up, integrity, joy, kindness, Life's like that, living in the moment, love, Relationships, sacrifice

Sprinkle joy.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

The act of spreading joy does not often come from a place of my own joy. In fact, every time I can recall my own joy, it’s been a deeply personal experience, felt by an audience of one – me.

The wondrous privilege of witnessing nature; a dragonfly landing on me with wings glistening in the sunlight when I was a child in Chateauguay, a hawk calling while soaring across a central BC sky, a spider’s web sparkling in the pre-dawn light of a full moon in Brown County Indiana, the lull of the ocean’s waves crashing against the shore and receding, crashing against the shore and receding in the Dominican Republic, and more profoundly moving of late in Calgary, dogs approaching me with the same trust and love they used to approach dad with.

My joy comes while living in the moment and is deeply personal.

Spreading joy often comes from a place of brokenness; cycles of dysfunction in relationships or, stubborn ways of thinking or being, when I finally reach out with forgiveness, when I decide to break the cycle to relieve someone else’s pain through kindness and friendship.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

What Are You Passionate About?

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200 words, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, dreams, integrity, joy, life, mission, passion, Purpose, true to yourself, vision, world issues

:

How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.

– Coco Chanel

I once asked a man what he was passionate about and he replied, leadership. “Leadership of what?” I asked. “I just want to be a leader, it doesn’t matter what.”

I could be wrong, but that sounds a bit like a power grab to me.

It’s a bit sad, if you ask me. But it’s not an unusual answer.

So many of us seek the most coveted position, which isn’t a bad thing if we’re seeking it in an area that we are passionate about and we have the gift-set, but when we want it just for the sake of having it, we will find ourselves in an excruciating uphill journey that feels mostly like trying to run quickly under water.

Worst of all, we’ll not be happy with the experience.

Co Co had it right. I think she knew well that putting aside our wish to be something, and seeking to be true to who we are and act from where we are passionate, immediately releases us from unnecessary cares.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

So, what are you passionate about?

Family

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caring, children, courage, daughters, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, family, Garden, gardening, grief, growing up, joy, kindness, laughter, life, Life's like that, living in the moment, love, parents, Relationships, sorrow

Family. Where life begins and love never ends.

where we share sorrows and joys and learn and grow

where we fight and hurt and laugh and heal

where we challenge each other, irritate, and rub each other the wrong way

where we encourage, embolden, inspire and build each other up

where we run away from for independence and run to for comfort when we are afraid or overwhelmed

where we make tough decisions with tough love and hold each other up

where we weather the storms and bask in the warmth of sunny days as one

where even those who are no longer with us still teach us.

where no matter what we do or where we go, we always belong to our family

I just got back from visiting family back east and here are some snippets of my trip.

And Every day Mom checks in with her flowers; pruning, watering, caring for…

not so different from how we grow and care for each other in our families…

 

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

What does family mean to you?

 

 

 

 

 

In Those Times

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200 words, anger, caring, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, Fear, goodness, greater good, hatred, hope, humility, integrity, kindness, Life's like that, love, making a difference, peace, Purpose, Relationships, Truth, vulnerability, world issues

Remember:
Kindness is for all times in all situations – not just when it suits you.

-Audray Landrum

Those times in life when it seems that evil continually prevails, when greedy people keep getting, and vulnerable people keep losing.

Those times when those who don’t follow the rules keep winning, when those who prey on weaknesses are exulted, when those who feel entitled are granted whatever they wish, and those whose genuine efforts and unselfish motives are overlooked time after time.

Those times when I can’t bear to watch anymore, when my anger overtakes me, when for just once, for just one God damned time, my utter hatred of their actions, my complete disdain of them, my raging judgment of them makes me want to squash them, to shine a light on their selfishness, expose their nakedness to every single person, and humiliate them in front of the world.

In those times, although it’s excruciatingly difficult, I must dig deep inside of myself with humility, recognize those same tendencies in me and acknowledge my own shortcomings. I must search for the good in them, reach out with love and kindness and pray it makes a difference.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

It’s Not What You Do, It’s How You Do It

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200 words, Alberta, Calgary, Conviction, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, embarassment, good work ethic, grateful, growing up, Guilt, hard work, humility, integrity, joy, kindness, life, memories, passion, pride

If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as a Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.’

Martin Luther King Jr.

When I moved to Calgary in 1990, I accepted a housekeeping job at a hospital.

I was so embarrassed by this job, when people asked what I did, I said I was an environmental engineer, which is what they called my position, and then quickly changed the subject before they could ask what that was.

I hated working there, so I cut corners and consistently scored low when my employer did surprise quality control checks.

But I started to feel guilty. So I decided to be grateful that I had a job, many did not, and I cleaned each room as if the next patient was Jesus.

A funny thing happened.

I began to take pride in my work.

I did little extras for patients.

I consistently scored 100% when my employer did surprise quality control checks.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Vulnerability and Truth

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200 words, anger, believe, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, emotions, Fear, growing up, happy, health, integrity, kindness, life, love, peace, strong, Truth, weak, worry

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

― Brené Brown

It’s scary to be vulnerable, isn’t it? It makes you feel weak, and even worse it makes you appear weak to others.

Suppose you don’t know what to do about a situation at work, if you ask for help, would it seem like you cannot do the job you were hired to do?

Suppose you are grieving the loss of someone close to you, or are worried about the circumstances a loved one has found themselves in, if you talk about it or cry, would it seem as though you are too emotional?

What if you’re afraid to go to the dentist, or a job interview, or know you need to admit you were wrong about something, if you hesitate or show any anxiety, would you look like a coward?

I grew up believing it did. Crying was weak. Smiling or laughing made you look foolish. The only acceptable emotion was anger, which somehow proved that you were strong.

It can take years to finally know that vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

You Have More In Common With The World Than You Think

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200 words, common ground, community, connecting, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, differences, DNA, doing the right thing, family, Fear, in common, justice, life, love, Relationships, talents, vulnerability

We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.

William James (1842-1910)

The things that make people interesting are their unique talents. Like someone whose guitar playing moves us, or someone whose storytelling captivates us, whose art transports us, whose passion inspires us to change the course we’re on.

Sadly some things that make us different also divide us, like the colour of our skin, our level of education, our societal status, our culture, our belief system. Different takes us out of our comfort zone, makes us feel vulnerable. The unknown is frightening.

So we vilify those who aren’t like us. ‘They’ are less civilized, less intelligent than us. We create rules and laws that hurt them. We find ways to protect ourselves from them while overlooking the injustices we impose upon them.

The above quote is a good metaphor to clearly illustrate how we are all connected. What will it take for us to remember that although we are separate on the surface, we are very connected in the deep?

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES

I am so moved when the woman in the video learns she has a cousin in the room…

 

Humility, Gratitude and Service

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community, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Gratitude, growing up, happy, humanity, humility, Hump Day Chronicles, integrity, joy, kindness, laughter, life, living in the moment, love, Purpose, Relationships, service

I had the privilege of interviewing someone yesterday. Someone whose childhood was marked by abandonment, abuse and neglect. Someone who coped by making bad choices as a result.

His story was heartbreaking and made me question…

No, it made me wrestle with the whys. Why do people treat other people so horribly? And not just other adults, but children. Children who need a better foundational start at life.

But to be honest, that’s not the part of his story that stuck with me.

What stood out was his gratefulness. For every time someone showed him kindness. Every time someone reached out to help him. Went out of their way to give him hope. Saw him, loved him for who he was, took action to make a difference in his life — and did it all without judging him.

His story reminded me of all the people in my life who were pivotal, who were catalysts in changing my life for the better. Most did not even know to what extent they impacted me, inspired me, motivated me to find purpose in my life by serving others.

His story reminded me how important it is to reach out and help others just because I’ve been helped. To pay it forward, to never forget where I came from, to stay humble and grateful.

It’s what brings out the best in humanity. Don’t you think?

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Love is the Answer

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200 words, back to the basics, community, compassion, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, growing up, kindness, laughter, life, living in the moment, love, passion, peace, Purpose, Relationships, simplicity

Love is the power to see similarity in the dissimilar.

Theodor Adorno

Once, while watching one of those nature shows, I saw a leopard kill an animal and then discover that animal had a young one. The leopard then proceeded to care for the baby. We’ve all seen photos of animals caring for other animals outside their species. Of animals caring for humans and humans for animals. It’s an amazing thing to witness.

I don’t know what to call this, except to call it love. It is the kind of love that compels us, human or otherwise, to act compassionately and with kindness toward all other living creatures. The kind of love that too often is missing within the human race, within our own species, especially when they look, or believe, or live differently than us.

We haven’t suddenly become this way. It has been like this from the beginning. It’s too bad, really. Especially since the answer is so simple and obvious, so clearly within our grasp. So able to make us see that we are more alike than we are different.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Don’t you want to know love like that? I know I do.