What If She Forgets Me?

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200 words, compassion, courage, dementia, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, laughter, Life's like that, living in the moment, love, memories, Mom, Relationships

Mom in the Dominican Republic

This loss spills out over things I never thought it would touch and i am shattered by the falsehood of permanence.

– Chloe Frayne

She’s slipping away, bit by bit. In many ways I’ve already lost the woman I’ve known as mother all my life. She’s being replaced with a new woman, one who has endearing qualities of her own, one who although a stranger to me, I’m struggling to know.

What a conundrum to build a new relationship, when memories created moments ago, are forgotten as quickly as they are experienced.

Yet what a gift it is in teaching me how to ‘live in the moment, love in the moment,‘ right in the moment we have.

She may not remember my visit, or the laughs we shared at the dinner table, or the conversation we had on the phone, or that the big-comfy-after-bath-housecoat I bought her, is hanging in her closet, but I hope with all my heart, the love shared in these moments transcends the moments, and makes its home in her heart forever, even if one day, she forgets me.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

I’ll remember for us both, love you mom.

 

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The Sheer Force of Sorrow

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connecting, courage, death, destroy, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, force, grief, health, humanity, life, Life's like that, living in the moment, loss, love, memories, paradox, power, save

When you use the sheer force of your sorrow to crack open your heart, it promises to drop you down into a deeper capacity for compassion and care for all living beings. You become initiated into your own humanity in a way that connects you to all life. Such is the paradox of grief. It holds the power to either destroy or to save you. Which one is up to you.

Katherine Woodward Thomas

● DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ●

Obstacles

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bigger purpose, community, compassion, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, encouragement, Fear, greater good, humanity, joy, kindness, life, Life's like that, loss, love, making a difference, mission, perserverance, Purpose, Relationships, sorrow, trust, vision, world issues

Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

– Vince Lombardi

Two things that stand out to me, when Dad taught me to drive are, don’t let the guy behind you pressure you. Don’t drive faster for him. Drive the speed you feel comfortable with. And, Look where you want to go. Look as far up the road as is visually possible. Don’t look at the sharp corner you’re on. You saw that a while back, you knew it was coming, you’ll get through it.

Sometimes while in the curves life throws at us, we feel the pressures of life pushing us to do something we’re not comfortable with. We can’t take our eyes off the current situation. We’re looking for a quick fix. It is then when we must fight the urge to focus on the trouble we’re in and keep our eyes on where we’re headed.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Perspective: Maybe God is taking you through troubled waters because your enemy can’t swim.

The Mess

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200 words, caring, community, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, Fear, growing up, idealism, integrity, Life's like that, love, next generation, Purpose, world issues

Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it.

 — George Orwell

Hear about that car accident? Yeah, probably a teenager on drugs. They’re all on drugs you know? They have no idea of the worth of a dollar. They’re lazy. They don’t care what they look like – no respect for anybody. LOVE LOVE LOVE – yeah right, loose morals if you ask me!

Sound familiar? Not so different from words I hear today about the next generation.

But we were the generation that wanted to see the end of war, that wanted to feed the world, that wanted to give peace a chance, that felt we were handed a mess. We were idealists.

And then something happened. We grew up. We had families. We got tired. We looked out for #1. We wanted to make sure our children would be looked after in our little corner of the world. We put blinders on. We forgot about the grander picture. And the next generation says we left them a mess. They are idealists.

Well maybe they won’t forget. Maybe they won’t grow tired.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

#RideForRefuge Well I Did It…Kinda

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Alberta, Calgary, community, compassion, Diana Schwenk, Fundraising, generosity, Gratitude, Hump Day Chronicles, laughter, Life's like that, living in the moment, Oxford House, passion, Purpose, recovery, Relationships, Ride for Refuge, thank you, world issues

Post registration, pre-ride photo.

WE HAD ANTICIPATED WARMER WEATHER, 19c/67f degrees to be exact, but in Calgary, it is hard to predict weather beyond 48 hours. On ride day, it seemed nice enough outside early in the morning, but it got quite windy and cold after the riders were sent out. And I swear, that no matter what direction the route took, the wind was blowing cold and full blast, into my face. Coupled with that, having gained at least 15 pounds since last year’s ride, I ended up having to dismount, a couple of times, part way up hills, and walk them.

I can laugh about it today, but another thing I did on ride day, was miss the 10km turn off, so I unwittingly rode about 5km more than I signed up for,(probably a good thing, seeing as I have gained weight), but I took two others with me! So you’d have to ask Earl and Kellie how they felt about me misleading them – sorry guys!

None of that is important when compared to the benefit that resulted through the compassionate efforts of the riders, walkers, donors and volunteers, who all played a role in raising over $20,000 for Oxford House. Practically speaking, this means that eight men or women in recovery, will have a home, and support in their recovery, for an entire year!

I personally want to thank those 20 people who supported my ride – together we raised $1,335! Also, I want to thank the 12 people who joined my team  who along with you, fundraised $5,460 in total for Oxford House.

My team, the Riders for Recovery

(L-R) Diana, Earl, Kellie, Tracey, Trish, Dean, Michael, Leanne, Ava and Pat. And missing from this photo are: Jaidyn, Ziyan, Karim and Donald

Who says you can’t goof around and work hard at the same time?

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

 

A Little Water Between Neighbours

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Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, Don't sweat the small stuff, growing up, Life's like that, peace, perspective

When you look at a field of Dandelions, you can either see a hundred weeds, or a thousand wishes.

~ Unknown

My apartment building was painted a while back, including my balcony. It looks so nice that I bought one of those outdoor carpets to enhance the look. Next year, I plan to buy a couple of potted wild grass pots and comfy chairs to spruce it up even more – maybe I will even get outdoor solar lights to string on the railing!

Today my upstairs neighbor watered her balcony plants. Honestly, she used so much water, it poured onto my balcony, drenching it, drenching the carpet, splashing up onto my patio door.

“HEY!” I called up, “you’re messing up my balcony, creating a mucky mess!”

I don’t think she heard me. She just kept watering. I would have run upstairs and pounded on her door, but I was still in my jammies – maybe that was a good thing. 🙂

Instead, I focused my adrenaline flooded body to the task of hanging my carpet on the rail, and mopping the mucky water from my freshly painted balcony.

I’ve laid the carpet back down and my balcony is once again my urban oasis. You know, in retrospect, I’d been thinking of mopping the balcony anyway. It looks great.

It was just a little water between neighbours. Nobody died. What’s the big deal?

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Kindness and Friendship

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200 words, being right, community, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, Fear, generosity, growing up, integrity, joy, kindness, Life's like that, living in the moment, love, Relationships, sacrifice

Sprinkle joy.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

The act of spreading joy does not often come from a place of my own joy. In fact, every time I can recall my own joy, it’s been a deeply personal experience, felt by an audience of one – me.

The wondrous privilege of witnessing nature; a dragonfly landing on me with wings glistening in the sunlight when I was a child in Chateauguay, a hawk calling while soaring across a central BC sky, a spider’s web sparkling in the pre-dawn light of a full moon in Brown County Indiana, the lull of the ocean’s waves crashing against the shore and receding, crashing against the shore and receding in the Dominican Republic, and more profoundly moving of late in Calgary, dogs approaching me with the same trust and love they used to approach dad with.

My joy comes while living in the moment and is deeply personal.

Spreading joy often comes from a place of brokenness; cycles of dysfunction in relationships or, stubborn ways of thinking or being, when I finally reach out with forgiveness, when I decide to break the cycle to relieve someone else’s pain through kindness and friendship.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Family

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caring, children, courage, daughters, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, family, Garden, gardening, grief, growing up, joy, kindness, laughter, life, Life's like that, living in the moment, love, parents, Relationships, sorrow

Family. Where life begins and love never ends.

where we share sorrows and joys and learn and grow

where we fight and hurt and laugh and heal

where we challenge each other, irritate, and rub each other the wrong way

where we encourage, embolden, inspire and build each other up

where we run away from for independence and run to for comfort when we are afraid or overwhelmed

where we make tough decisions with tough love and hold each other up

where we weather the storms and bask in the warmth of sunny days as one

where even those who are no longer with us still teach us.

where no matter what we do or where we go, we always belong to our family

I just got back from visiting family back east and here are some snippets of my trip.

And Every day Mom checks in with her flowers; pruning, watering, caring for…

not so different from how we grow and care for each other in our families…

 

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

What does family mean to you?

 

 

 

 

 

In Those Times

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200 words, anger, caring, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, Fear, goodness, greater good, hatred, hope, humility, integrity, kindness, Life's like that, love, making a difference, peace, Purpose, Relationships, Truth, vulnerability, world issues

Remember:
Kindness is for all times in all situations – not just when it suits you.

-Audray Landrum

Those times in life when it seems that evil continually prevails, when greedy people keep getting, and vulnerable people keep losing.

Those times when those who don’t follow the rules keep winning, when those who prey on weaknesses are exulted, when those who feel entitled are granted whatever they wish, and those whose genuine efforts and unselfish motives are overlooked time after time.

Those times when I can’t bear to watch anymore, when my anger overtakes me, when for just once, for just one God damned time, my utter hatred of their actions, my complete disdain of them, my raging judgment of them makes me want to squash them, to shine a light on their selfishness, expose their nakedness to every single person, and humiliate them in front of the world.

In those times, although it’s excruciatingly difficult, I must dig deep inside of myself with humility, recognize those same tendencies in me and acknowledge my own shortcomings. I must search for the good in them, reach out with love and kindness and pray it makes a difference.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Brummelbär

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Dad, daughters, Diana Schwenk, family, fathers-day, kindness, Life's like that, love, memories, parents, Relationships, Stuff my parents used to say and do

“Dad had such a deep voice,” I said to my mom on the phone a few weeks back.

“Yes, that’s why I called him my Brummelbär (Brummel bear), his voice rumbled from deep within,” she replied with tenderness in her voice.

I guess I’ve been thinking a lot about dad lately, with Father’s Day and his birthday looming closer. I used to dread June because it brought Father’s Day, my brother’s birthday and my dad’s birthday, and when I didn’t have a lot of money, it seemed taxing to buy three cards and gifts in one month.

Man, what I wouldn’t give to have that worry back, to have dad back.

Yet, I can’t really complain. I was blessed for 52 years with the best possible man for me, as my father. He was a good man, a kind man, a peaceful man. And he loved us.

As best as I can tell Brummel means rumble. And mom’s right. His voice rumbled from deep within like a bear. And it remains in my heart, in my DNA it would seem, guiding me, and still brings me comfort when I most need it.

So glad I captured his voice in this video!