It seems to me that every personality trait has a good side and a bad side.
Like the two sides of a coin – it depends how it lands in the toss.
For example, my daughter is a beautiful, gentle-spirited generous soul.
Once when she was around 12 or 13 she said that she wished she wasn’t so sensitive, that she was tougher – more like me.
Her feelings were easily hurt by what some people said about her. I remember telling her that there were two sides to this trait of hers.
One – she could be easily hurt,
and two – she would always be careful not to hurt another.
I asked her if she liked the latter about herself. She said she did.
I asked her if she could live without that quality and she said no.
It’s important to her to be caring.
This concept seems to work with every trait.
Say someone pays close attention to detail and takes the time to make sure everything is right.
If they’re an accountant this is awesome!
If you’re waiting for them to finally decide what to order on the menu (TICK TOCK), it can be crazy-making!
This brings me to one of my traits.
I’m impatient. Line-ups make my brain haemorrhage.
Traffic jams make me want to scream out loud.
Most of my life, I’ve been told I need to be more patient.
“Aha!”, you may be saying.
What possible good side exists with that trait? Well I’m glad you asked!
Impatient people are less resistant to change.
Impatient people see a goal and if they’re on board with it, it will soon be done.
Impatient people think on their feet and rarely look back when they’ve made a decision.
Ok now you may be thinking, “She’s just making excuses so she doesn’t have to change.”
Impatient is part of who I am. I’m not likely to change but I can adapt.
I can change my behaviour. I can have my little temper tantrum on the inside instead of lashing out at the closest living thing.
I can find ways to be productive or get other things done while I’m waiting for (fill in the blank).
Waiting just feels like a waste of time to an impatient person like me.
And just as I asked my daughter once a few years back, I ask myself now:
Would I be willing to give up ‘the doer’ that I am so that I could be more patient?
And the answer is a resounding NO!
So I embrace this part of me.
I accept who I am.
But I do check my behaviour.
I am accountable to the people in my life and want to be respectful.
After all I want them to be respectful and accountable for their actions toward me too.
What’s the one trait you have that works for you?
What makes it beautiful?
How has it been ugly?