English: Both sides of a coin featuring Antoninus Pius, from the Mendesian nome. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
It seems to me that every personality trait has a good side and a bad side.
Like the two sides of a coin – it depends how it lands in the toss.
For example, my daughter is a beautiful, gentle-spirited generous soul.
Once when she was around 12 or 13 she said that she wished she wasn’t so sensitive, that she was tougher – more like me.
Her feelings were easily hurt by what some people said about her. I remember telling her that there were two sides to this trait of hers.
One – she could be easily hurt,
and two – she would always be careful not to hurt another.
I asked her if she liked the latter about herself. She said she did.
I asked her if she could live without that quality and she said no.
It’s important to her to be caring.
This concept seems to work with every trait.
Alarm Clock 3 (Photo credit: Alan Cleaver)
Say someone pays close attention to detail and takes the time to make sure everything is right.
If they’re an accountant this is awesome!
If you’re waiting for them to finally decide what to order on the menu (TICK TOCK), it can be crazy-making!
This brings me to one of my traits.
I’m impatient. Line-ups make my brain haemorrhage.
Traffic jams make me want to scream out loud.
Most of my life, I’ve been told I need to be more patient.
“Aha!”, you may be saying.
What possible good side exists with that trait? Well I’m glad you asked!
Impatient people are less resistant to change.
Impatient people see a goal and if they’re on board with it, it will soon be done.
Impatient people think on their feet and rarely look back when they’ve made a decision.
Ok now you may be thinking, “She’s just making excuses so she doesn’t have to change.”
Impatient is part of who I am. I’m not likely to change but I can adapt.
I can change my behaviour. I can have my little temper tantrum on the inside instead of lashing out at the closest living thing.
I can find ways to be productive or get other things done while I’m waiting for (fill in the blank).
Waiting just feels like a waste of time to an impatient person like me.
Michaela and me
And just as I asked my daughter once a few years back, I ask myself now:
Would I be willing to give up ‘the doer’ that I am so that I could be more patient?
And the answer is a resounding NO!
So I embrace this part of me.
I accept who I am.
But I do check my behaviour.
I am accountable to the people in my life and want to be respectful.
After all I want them to be respectful and accountable for their actions toward me too.
What’s the one trait you have that works for you?
What makes it beautiful?
How has it been ugly?
Ha! I have one for you. We are both opposite and yet so alike! A few weeks ago you mentioned that one of your pet hates was people being late and in a reply I mentioned that I was one who was always late. What I did not mention at the time was the reason I am often late is that I get busy DOING things right up to the last minute when I am supposed to leave and inevitably something happens or I get stuck in a traffic jam, or can’t find a park etc so I am late. So there you go. You like people to be on time. I am often late. We are DIFFERENT. Reason for this. You do not want to waste time waiting for people because you are impatient and could be doing something. You are a ‘doer’. I am late because I am busy doing things. I am a ‘doer’. The one and the SAME!
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Hahaha! Now that is funny!
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As always Diana…you hit ’em right out of the park at the first attempt!!! Very good post/thought. I like a lot!
Hmm, trait? I guess I can be described as a chameleon…adapting very quickly to the situations and/or surroundings I am faced with.
The good points about that I think are pretty obvious. As for the bad…I can often be accused of sitting on the fence…as I tend to see both sides of things.
I’m not really sure that makes sense, now I read it…but I hope you can puzzle it together to make some sort of clarity out of it!?!?
A most wonderful post Diana 🙂
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Thank you very much Torbs! It makes sense to me! But I hear ya, some people might even think you’re inconsistent. I’m guessing you’re quite empathetic as well and nod your head as a form of encouragement to those telling you their woes…some would read this body language as agreement where you might just be saying uh huh go on…tell me…True?
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I can fly by the seat of my pants quite well, BUT I’m disorganized and can’t make lists. Great post!
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Thanks Jenn, for stopping by and sharing one of your traits and the flip with us!
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There are many more. Sigh!
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Now this has made me think about my trait and would I want to change any of them and what the flip side of the trait is…………Like the fact that I am a short tempered person the flip side of that is that I get over things very fast once I have flared up I am over it………………
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You’re probably impatient as well, correct?
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Thank you so much for this reminder! I haven’t ever thought of it that way, loving the idea of a “flip side” 🙂
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You’re very welcome! Thanks for reading it and for your encouragement. 🙂
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loving the flip side
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Thanks so much Jensine!
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🙂 flipping as we speak
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I don’t talk much, but I think that makes me a better listener. I am a bit of a nit picker….but then I do get things right the first time! 😉
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measure twice, cut once! awesome. 🙂
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I agree on the impatience- I hate waiting for a table, in line, etc. Bringing reading material helps (though not in the car)- I still read old fashioned paper magazines and books but those with e-readers can store lots of things that might help pass the time and ease the impatience.
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yes reading helps for sure! But I’m most happy if I can get something off my to-do list while I’m waiting….
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I shoot from the hip and call ’em as I see ’em. Now, this is usually wonderful and people come to me for my opinion and a good laugh. This COULD be ugly if I don’t filter how I call ’em, but I think that I’m a nice enough person to recognize how far is too far. I mean, I still push the envelope, but I don’t do it at the expense of people’s feelings.
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very wise philosophy!
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The light shines brightest in the dark…. and in my darkside, there are many gifts that illuminate my lightness of being! 🙂
one of mine is — a love of words….. and sometimes, I get carried away… but it always stirs my creativity and the truth is… I don’t follow ‘rules’ that well. Which is a blessing and a curse — I’ve learned to heed the rules when safety, other people’s feelings, or the betterment of the group/cause/agenda is a concern.
Brilliant post Diana.
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Thank you very much Louise. We must always exercise our gifts with kindness and concern for others.
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Same here, really impatient. Not really practical to be like that with small kids. Progress in work, though. ;D Another excuse to be impatient is quick problem solvers. I almost never keep or supress any sort of anger/disappointment/complain, I solve it on spot. Which means I deal with problem when it is there and make peace with it. Never dwell on it. The only thing is that as I have grown older, I have learnt there are different ways to “catch a bird”, so my ways to voice it out have become milder.Thanks for sharing this!
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Yeah I remember it didn’t work well when my daughter was little! True – I’m pretty direct as well but always try to temper it with kindness and if I’m angry, I wait!
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Oh this is so brilliant – okay I am going to try to think this through and answer the questions:
1. Laughing a lot
2. I can make other people laugh
3. I was seen as unprofessional in my job as a lecturer because there was too much laughter; I can hardly muster a laugh these days
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This is a great example…here’s hoping you find reason for a good belly-laugh in the near future. 🙂
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At one of my first performance reviews I listed “takes and follows rules literally” under both strengths and weakness. My boss looked a little perplexed. 8)
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It’s always fun to confuse the boss! Thanks for stopping by and commenting. 🙂
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🙂 I might have enjoyed it a little.
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Atta girl!
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