Family

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caring, children, courage, daughters, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, family, Garden, gardening, grief, growing up, joy, kindness, laughter, life, Life's like that, living in the moment, love, parents, Relationships, sorrow

Family. Where life begins and love never ends.

where we share sorrows and joys and learn and grow

where we fight and hurt and laugh and heal

where we challenge each other, irritate, and rub each other the wrong way

where we encourage, embolden, inspire and build each other up

where we run away from for independence and run to for comfort when we are afraid or overwhelmed

where we make tough decisions with tough love and hold each other up

where we weather the storms and bask in the warmth of sunny days as one

where even those who are no longer with us still teach us.

where no matter what we do or where we go, we always belong to our family

I just got back from visiting family back east and here are some snippets of my trip.

And Every day Mom checks in with her flowers; pruning, watering, caring for…

not so different from how we grow and care for each other in our families…

 

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

What does family mean to you?

 

 

 

 

 

Somebody Cares

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alone, caring, children, courage, daughters, family, Fear, growing up, kids, kindness, love, memories, only human, passion, shame, strong, vulnerability, weak

The other day, my beautiful daughter, Michaela, posted the letter below on her Facebook page.

If you are in your tweens/teens and feel alone, please know that you are not the first to feel like you don’t quite measure up. Things will probably get better and the things you’re learning now are making you stronger.

If you are the parent of a tween/teen remind them every day how much you love them and not just because they’re you’re kid and you have to, but because he or she is a beautiful person worthy of love.

Dear 12-year-old Michaela,

The first thing I want you to know is no matter how alone you feel right now, no matter how much you think nobody cares, your mom is your best friend and she gets you.

Being chubby is not the end of the world. I’m sorry that your peers seem to think it is. Fat does not equal ugly. Being mean and cruel is ugly. You are beautiful.

I know something really bad just happened to you. I know you’re scared. I know you are ashamed. Talk about it. Tell people. Talk to a counsellor. It’s not your fault. I promise you it’s not your fault.

I know you think you’ll never be one of the pretty girls. You are a pretty girl. Nobody needs to tell you. You have a beautiful heart, and soul and your outsides are beautiful too. Stop comparing yourself to them. You’re nothing like them.

Not everyone is going to like you, and that is so far beyond ok. It’s nothing you did. I know how hard you’re trying but sometimes people just don’t click. Michaela, let it go.
The sooner you learn to love yourself and that you are worthy of love, the happier you will be. It’s hard, it’s so so hard. But it’s coming.

Don’t feel ashamed for talking to a therapist. They are there to help you and everyone should. Shit gets hard, Michaela. You’re not weak, you’re human. Don’t be afraid to move. It’s not going to be perfect but so much good will come out of it, it doesn’t even matter.

Tell people you love them. It’s not lame. If you feel it, say it. It will change people and people will love you for it. Don’t ever be afraid to love.

Be proud of who you are, Michaela. You’re good enough. In fact, you’re so far beyond just enough. You are kind, and generous and sweet. You have so much love to give. Give it. It will come back in waves.

Never stop playing sports. I know there will be a time where it feels like you don’t even have time to breathe, but when you get that time back, get back to it.

On the same note, never stop doing what you love. Don’t let anyone’s darkness steal your passion. Your passion and joy is amazing. It isn’t lame. Screw anyone who says it is.

12-year-old me, I love you. I’m so sorry it’s so hard right now. I’m sorry you feel alone but people love you. You have no idea how good it’s going to get so please don’t be afraid. You are so beautiful. You are worthy. You are amazing. I love you, girl. It’s going to be ok.

Thank you Michaela for allowing me to share your beautiful letter on my blog. I hope it will help someone else to not feel so alone and hopeless.

Love you kiddo,

MOM ❤

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

It’s Not What You Do, It’s How You Do It

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200 words, Alberta, Calgary, Conviction, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, embarassment, good work ethic, grateful, growing up, Guilt, hard work, humility, integrity, joy, kindness, life, memories, passion, pride

If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as a Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.’

Martin Luther King Jr.

When I moved to Calgary in 1990, I accepted a housekeeping job at a hospital.

I was so embarrassed by this job, when people asked what I did, I said I was an environmental engineer, which is what they called my position, and then quickly changed the subject before they could ask what that was.

I hated working there, so I cut corners and consistently scored low when my employer did surprise quality control checks.

But I started to feel guilty. So I decided to be grateful that I had a job, many did not, and I cleaned each room as if the next patient was Jesus.

A funny thing happened.

I began to take pride in my work.

I did little extras for patients.

I consistently scored 100% when my employer did surprise quality control checks.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Vulnerability and Truth

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200 words, anger, believe, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, emotions, Fear, growing up, happy, health, integrity, kindness, life, love, peace, strong, Truth, weak, worry

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

― Brené Brown

It’s scary to be vulnerable, isn’t it? It makes you feel weak, and even worse it makes you appear weak to others.

Suppose you don’t know what to do about a situation at work, if you ask for help, would it seem like you cannot do the job you were hired to do?

Suppose you are grieving the loss of someone close to you, or are worried about the circumstances a loved one has found themselves in, if you talk about it or cry, would it seem as though you are too emotional?

What if you’re afraid to go to the dentist, or a job interview, or know you need to admit you were wrong about something, if you hesitate or show any anxiety, would you look like a coward?

I grew up believing it did. Crying was weak. Smiling or laughing made you look foolish. The only acceptable emotion was anger, which somehow proved that you were strong.

It can take years to finally know that vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Humility, Gratitude and Service

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community, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Gratitude, growing up, happy, humanity, humility, Hump Day Chronicles, integrity, joy, kindness, laughter, life, living in the moment, love, Purpose, Relationships, service

I had the privilege of interviewing someone yesterday. Someone whose childhood was marked by abandonment, abuse and neglect. Someone who coped by making bad choices as a result.

His story was heartbreaking and made me question…

No, it made me wrestle with the whys. Why do people treat other people so horribly? And not just other adults, but children. Children who need a better foundational start at life.

But to be honest, that’s not the part of his story that stuck with me.

What stood out was his gratefulness. For every time someone showed him kindness. Every time someone reached out to help him. Went out of their way to give him hope. Saw him, loved him for who he was, took action to make a difference in his life — and did it all without judging him.

His story reminded me of all the people in my life who were pivotal, who were catalysts in changing my life for the better. Most did not even know to what extent they impacted me, inspired me, motivated me to find purpose in my life by serving others.

His story reminded me how important it is to reach out and help others just because I’ve been helped. To pay it forward, to never forget where I came from, to stay humble and grateful.

It’s what brings out the best in humanity. Don’t you think?

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Love is the Answer

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200 words, back to the basics, community, compassion, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, growing up, kindness, laughter, life, living in the moment, love, passion, peace, Purpose, Relationships, simplicity

Love is the power to see similarity in the dissimilar.

Theodor Adorno

Once, while watching one of those nature shows, I saw a leopard kill an animal and then discover that animal had a young one. The leopard then proceeded to care for the baby. We’ve all seen photos of animals caring for other animals outside their species. Of animals caring for humans and humans for animals. It’s an amazing thing to witness.

I don’t know what to call this, except to call it love. It is the kind of love that compels us, human or otherwise, to act compassionately and with kindness toward all other living creatures. The kind of love that too often is missing within the human race, within our own species, especially when they look, or believe, or live differently than us.

We haven’t suddenly become this way. It has been like this from the beginning. It’s too bad, really. Especially since the answer is so simple and obvious, so clearly within our grasp. So able to make us see that we are more alike than we are different.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Don’t you want to know love like that? I know I do.

The Strength You Gave Me

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200 words, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, family, growing up, lessons, life, Life's like that, living in the moment, Margot Schwenk, mistakes, Mom, Mother's Day, parents, Relationships, strength, strong, Stuff my parents used to say and do

Margot with Diana

The more a daughter knows the details of her mother’s life […] the stronger the daughter.

― Anita Diamant, The Red Tent

On Mother’s Day I think of you. Of all the things you gave me. All the things you taught me. All the ways you sacrificed so I could have a good childhood.

And I did mom. So much better than the life you had as a child. I know you sometimes recount all the mistakes you think you made with us. But don’t you know that you gave so much more than you could ever have dreamt for yourself when you were a child? Don’t you know that you broke the cycle of alcoholism and abuse allowing your children to never have to know that torment?

And your strength, even now. Even in this time when you face the harsh reality you never dreamed would happen alone, instead of the plans you had with dad for your golden years, even now I see that strength. That strength you taught me in deed and in word. The strength that I have inside me because of you.

Thanks for that Mom.

Happy Mother’s Day.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

The Slippers

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children, Dad, Diana Schwenk, family, grief, growing up, Hump Day Chronicles, life, Life's like that, loss, love, memories, parents, Relationships, Stuff my parents used to say and do

 

I have an old, ugly pair of slippers from Wal-Mart.  They make a click-clack noise. The same kind of click-clack noise Dad’s favourite slippers used to make when he walked across the kitchen floor.

*******

Winter 2012

Michaela and I went back east to spend Christmas with family. Dad was wearing those slippers and click-clacking across the floor. The noise drove Mom crazy. The next time Dad reached for those slippers after a trip into Hawkesbury, they were gone.

In the garbage.

Mom had had enough.

So me and Michaela went to the Fairview Shopping Centre in Pointe Claire and found a pair of slippers for Dad at Old Navy. We’d intentionally picked silent slippers to avoid that click-clacking sound. We couldn’t wait to give them to Dad for Christmas. On Christmas Eve we handed the wrapped slippers to him. He opened the package and angrily tossed the slippers to the side. 

“I hate them.”

They weren’t his well-worn favourite slippers and they weren’t the kind you could just slip on either. You had to bend down and stick your finger in the back to get them on.

*******

How I wish you were still with us Dad, so we could get you the perfect slippers.

The kind you wouldn’t have to struggle to get on.

The kind you could just slip your feet into.

The kind that would click-clack across the kitchen floor and drive Mom crazy and cause that smile of defiant satisfaction to tug at the corners of your mouth…

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

The Trump Effect

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anxiety, being present, chaos, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, Donald Trump, Fear, future, growing up, human behaviour, human nature, humanity, illusion of control, impatient, integrity, life, Life's like that, living in the moment, panic, peace, politics, Truth

You lose your grip and then you slip into the masterpiece.

~ Leonard Cohen

I’d like to tell you that I’m even-tempered. That I keep a cool head when my patience or my sense of right and wrong are being tested. That the minute I feel my jaw clench in anger, I am able to say some kind of catch phrase like Breathe or Let It Go and I’m magically transported to the present where the stuff I’m losing my cool about hasn’t happened yet and may never ever happen at all. But I’d be lying.

Truth is, this is something I’m always trying to grow into and although I’m getting better at it, I may never master it. But that’s ok as long as I’m trying, right?

What seems funny to me is that when I’m in the midst of ‘losing it,’ I feel perfectly justified. Yet when I see someone else behave in a similar manner, My mouth forms the word WOW and I think to myself, ‘What a wacko.’

The Donald and how some of us react to him is a good example of this. “Oh those bad Canadians, they’re really screwing us over in the milk industry and softwood lumber industry by doing this and that and the bad Mexicans, something to do with chickens blah, blah, blah…and so I’m going to renegotiate to get us a better deal or just pull out of NAFTA all together.”

And then chaos ensues and people are running around to research if what he is saying is really true and if he can actually do what he says he going to do and the news is consumed with the silliest debates, things we all thought we were clear on like is the sky really blue and we wonder well is it and then we think, hey wait a minute… Ugh I GOT CAUGHT UP IN THIS AGAIN!

I’m seriously starting to wonder if he is a genius in the sense that he can so easily get us so wound up and I bet he’s having a nap, or reading the paper or doing laps in a pool, or worse working on something he doesn’t want the public to know about, while we are reacting to a non issue!

Well as it turns out, he can’t just pull out of NAFTA. The worst he can do is sign an executive order that indicates he would like to pull out in six months and then it would go through this huge process and many others would have to want to do the same – bottom line – it’s a process that goes way beyond Donald’s mere wishes…

Anyway, my point really has nothing to do with NAFTA or Donald Trump or politics or how we should navigate these issues. It merely serves as a globally recognizable example of something I struggle with daily – to not immediately react to a situation, to not get pulled into someone else’s chaos, to just breathe, stay in the present and respond in a caring and appropriate way.

` DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

What’s the thing you struggle with? Can you think of a good Trump illustration for it? 😉

Babbling Like An Idiot

Tags

changing seasons, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, growing up, laughter, Life's like that, living in the moment, poetry, Spring

The other day I saw the following poem posted by my friend Ellen on Facebook. I knew immediately

that I would have to share it

here

with you.

Enjoy.

Spring

by Edna St. Vincent Millay

To what purpose, April, do you return again?

Beauty is not enough

You can no longer quiet me with the redness of little leaves opening stickily.

I know what I know.

The sun is hot on my neck as I observe the spikes of the crocus.

The smell of the earth is good.

It is apparent that there is no death.

But what does that signify?

Not only under ground are the brains of men eaten by maggots.

Life in itself is nothing, an empty cup, a flight of uncarpeted stairs.

It is not enough that yearly, down this hill, April comes like an idiot, babbling and strewing flowers.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~