Humility, Gratitude and Service

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community, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Gratitude, growing up, happy, humanity, humility, Hump Day Chronicles, integrity, joy, kindness, laughter, life, living in the moment, love, Purpose, Relationships, service

I had the privilege of interviewing someone yesterday. Someone whose childhood was marked by abandonment, abuse and neglect. Someone who coped by making bad choices as a result.

His story was heartbreaking and made me question…

No, it made me wrestle with the whys. Why do people treat other people so horribly? And not just other adults, but children. Children who need a better foundational start at life.

But to be honest, that’s not the part of his story that stuck with me.

What stood out was his gratefulness. For every time someone showed him kindness. Every time someone reached out to help him. Went out of their way to give him hope. Saw him, loved him for who he was, took action to make a difference in his life — and did it all without judging him.

His story reminded me of all the people in my life who were pivotal, who were catalysts in changing my life for the better. Most did not even know to what extent they impacted me, inspired me, motivated me to find purpose in my life by serving others.

His story reminded me how important it is to reach out and help others just because I’ve been helped. To pay it forward, to never forget where I came from, to stay humble and grateful.

It’s what brings out the best in humanity. Don’t you think?

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Love is the Answer

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200 words, back to the basics, community, compassion, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, growing up, kindness, laughter, life, living in the moment, love, passion, peace, Purpose, Relationships, simplicity

Love is the power to see similarity in the dissimilar.

Theodor Adorno

Once, while watching one of those nature shows, I saw a leopard kill an animal and then discover that animal had a young one. The leopard then proceeded to care for the baby. We’ve all seen photos of animals caring for other animals outside their species. Of animals caring for humans and humans for animals. It’s an amazing thing to witness.

I don’t know what to call this, except to call it love. It is the kind of love that compels us, human or otherwise, to act compassionately and with kindness toward all other living creatures. The kind of love that too often is missing within the human race, within our own species, especially when they look, or believe, or live differently than us.

We haven’t suddenly become this way. It has been like this from the beginning. It’s too bad, really. Especially since the answer is so simple and obvious, so clearly within our grasp. So able to make us see that we are more alike than we are different.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Don’t you want to know love like that? I know I do.

The Strength You Gave Me

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200 words, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, family, growing up, lessons, life, Life's like that, living in the moment, Margot Schwenk, mistakes, Mom, Mother's Day, parents, Relationships, strength, strong, Stuff my parents used to say and do

Margot with Diana

The more a daughter knows the details of her mother’s life […] the stronger the daughter.

― Anita Diamant, The Red Tent

On Mother’s Day I think of you. Of all the things you gave me. All the things you taught me. All the ways you sacrificed so I could have a good childhood.

And I did mom. So much better than the life you had as a child. I know you sometimes recount all the mistakes you think you made with us. But don’t you know that you gave so much more than you could ever have dreamt for yourself when you were a child? Don’t you know that you broke the cycle of alcoholism and abuse allowing your children to never have to know that torment?

And your strength, even now. Even in this time when you face the harsh reality you never dreamed would happen alone, instead of the plans you had with dad for your golden years, even now I see that strength. That strength you taught me in deed and in word. The strength that I have inside me because of you.

Thanks for that Mom.

Happy Mother’s Day.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

The Slippers

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children, Dad, Diana Schwenk, family, grief, growing up, Hump Day Chronicles, life, Life's like that, loss, love, memories, parents, Relationships, Stuff my parents used to say and do

 

I have an old, ugly pair of slippers from Wal-Mart.  They make a click-clack noise. The same kind of click-clack noise Dad’s favourite slippers used to make when he walked across the kitchen floor.

*******

Winter 2012

Michaela and I went back east to spend Christmas with family. Dad was wearing those slippers and click-clacking across the floor. The noise drove Mom crazy. The next time Dad reached for those slippers after a trip into Hawkesbury, they were gone.

In the garbage.

Mom had had enough.

So me and Michaela went to the Fairview Shopping Centre in Pointe Claire and found a pair of slippers for Dad at Old Navy. We’d intentionally picked silent slippers to avoid that click-clacking sound. We couldn’t wait to give them to Dad for Christmas. On Christmas Eve we handed the wrapped slippers to him. He opened the package and angrily tossed the slippers to the side. 

“I hate them.”

They weren’t his well-worn favourite slippers and they weren’t the kind you could just slip on either. You had to bend down and stick your finger in the back to get them on.

*******

How I wish you were still with us Dad, so we could get you the perfect slippers.

The kind you wouldn’t have to struggle to get on.

The kind you could just slip your feet into.

The kind that would click-clack across the kitchen floor and drive Mom crazy and cause that smile of defiant satisfaction to tug at the corners of your mouth…

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

The Trump Effect

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anxiety, being present, chaos, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, Donald Trump, Fear, future, growing up, human behaviour, human nature, humanity, illusion of control, impatient, integrity, life, Life's like that, living in the moment, panic, peace, politics, Truth

You lose your grip and then you slip into the masterpiece.

~ Leonard Cohen

I’d like to tell you that I’m even-tempered. That I keep a cool head when my patience or my sense of right and wrong are being tested. That the minute I feel my jaw clench in anger, I am able to say some kind of catch phrase like Breathe or Let It Go and I’m magically transported to the present where the stuff I’m losing my cool about hasn’t happened yet and may never ever happen at all. But I’d be lying.

Truth is, this is something I’m always trying to grow into and although I’m getting better at it, I may never master it. But that’s ok as long as I’m trying, right?

What seems funny to me is that when I’m in the midst of ‘losing it,’ I feel perfectly justified. Yet when I see someone else behave in a similar manner, My mouth forms the word WOW and I think to myself, ‘What a wacko.’

The Donald and how some of us react to him is a good example of this. “Oh those bad Canadians, they’re really screwing us over in the milk industry and softwood lumber industry by doing this and that and the bad Mexicans, something to do with chickens blah, blah, blah…and so I’m going to renegotiate to get us a better deal or just pull out of NAFTA all together.”

And then chaos ensues and people are running around to research if what he is saying is really true and if he can actually do what he says he going to do and the news is consumed with the silliest debates, things we all thought we were clear on like is the sky really blue and we wonder well is it and then we think, hey wait a minute… Ugh I GOT CAUGHT UP IN THIS AGAIN!

I’m seriously starting to wonder if he is a genius in the sense that he can so easily get us so wound up and I bet he’s having a nap, or reading the paper or doing laps in a pool, or worse working on something he doesn’t want the public to know about, while we are reacting to a non issue!

Well as it turns out, he can’t just pull out of NAFTA. The worst he can do is sign an executive order that indicates he would like to pull out in six months and then it would go through this huge process and many others would have to want to do the same – bottom line – it’s a process that goes way beyond Donald’s mere wishes…

Anyway, my point really has nothing to do with NAFTA or Donald Trump or politics or how we should navigate these issues. It merely serves as a globally recognizable example of something I struggle with daily – to not immediately react to a situation, to not get pulled into someone else’s chaos, to just breathe, stay in the present and respond in a caring and appropriate way.

` DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

What’s the thing you struggle with? Can you think of a good Trump illustration for it? 😉

Babbling Like An Idiot

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changing seasons, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, growing up, laughter, Life's like that, living in the moment, poetry, Spring

The other day I saw the following poem posted by my friend Ellen on Facebook. I knew immediately

that I would have to share it

here

with you.

Enjoy.

Spring

by Edna St. Vincent Millay

To what purpose, April, do you return again?

Beauty is not enough

You can no longer quiet me with the redness of little leaves opening stickily.

I know what I know.

The sun is hot on my neck as I observe the spikes of the crocus.

The smell of the earth is good.

It is apparent that there is no death.

But what does that signify?

Not only under ground are the brains of men eaten by maggots.

Life in itself is nothing, an empty cup, a flight of uncarpeted stairs.

It is not enough that yearly, down this hill, April comes like an idiot, babbling and strewing flowers.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Calgary is A Different City Than it Was…Or is it?

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Alberta, Calgary, caring, community, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, growing up, Hump Day Chronicles, integrity, kindness, life, Life's like that, neighbours, peace, Relationships

4th Street SW, Calgary AB – January 28, 2017

Cyclists took advantage of the new cycle track on 12 Ave. SW

A few months back I read that Calgary surpassed Ottawa in population and became Canada’s third largest city with a population of 1.4 million people.

It’s hard to believe that when I first moved to Calgary in 1990, its population was 625,000. It was a different city then. People said hello, people who you’d never met actually said hello to you on the street, in the parks, in the malls. It seemed a friendlier place back then. There was a real sense of community – it was a city with a village feel and I felt safe, even in the wee hours of the night.

Calgary has grown quite a bit since then, having more than doubled its population. And it feels different, it feels colder somehow. People don’t say hello like they used to. They seem more caught up with their electronics; cell phones glued to the sides of their faces or held out up front while chasing down Pokémon, earbuds embedded deep into their heads while they blow by you, barely noticing you on the street, in the parks, in the malls.

People just seem to care less…

at least that’s the impression I had up until early Saturday morning when I got a call from my landlord. It turned out that my neighbor across the hall interrupted a would-be thief while he was breaking into my car. Ron, my neighbor chased him off in the early hours of the morning and called the police.

Now I’m no stranger to having my car broken into.

I mean one comes to even expect it at some level when living in a big city. Over the years and after several break-ins, I have learned not to leave anything valuable in my car, so aside from having had to put all my highway emergency items that had been strewn around the trunk of my car back into the kit, and having to clean up my car manual, a few odd cassette tapes and my vehicle upkeep and maintenance papers from the seat and floor on the passenger side of my car and put them back into my glove box, I came away from this event virtually unscathed.

No, a car break-in doesn’t really cause a ripple in my world.

What really stands out to me is that Ron, the man who lives across the hall in my apartment building, was awoken when he heard clanging and banging from his bedroom window and went out into the parking lot to investigate. And this same man, Ron had the courage and took the time to protect my property – if that isn’t a good neighbor, I don’t know what is.

Maybe Calgary really isn’t all that different from back then after all.

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Thanks Ron, for reminding me that there are still good people in this world, people who care about other people, even in big cities.

 

A Journey Back In Time

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23 and me, Alberta, ancestors, Calgary, Canada, Diana Schwenk, DNA, family, Germany, growing up, History, Hump Day Chronicles, life, physical traits, Relationships, Vikings

Do you ever wonder where your physical traits come from? I sure do.

I mean I can look at my parents and see where my blue eyes come from and whose teeth I have and so on, but I’ve always wondered about my weird-looking chubby knees that seem to be prevalent on my mom’s side of the family.

‘Unique knees,’ an old boyfriend tactfully called them once.

“They look like they bend backwards when you’re standing, like you’re double-jointed,” my friend Helga once said.

Outside of mom’s family, I have never seen anyone with legs like mine. Well once I did. I was in the Dominican Republic with Mom and there was a family there; a mom and dad with two teenagers and they ALL had legs like mine! They were from Norway or Finland or Iceland or something.

They were tall, blond, blue-eyed and looked like Vikings! But it was their legs that caught my attention!

Look Mom! They have legs like us!

Are they the descendants of Vikings, I wondered? Am I a descendant of Vikings? It would sure explain a lot about parts of my personality!

I know my grandmother’s family came from Sweden, so maybe, right? Anyway, I got it in my head that I’m a Viking ever since I saw that family in the DR.

So I finally broke down and ordered a DNA kit from 23 and me.

What’s your best guess on my ethnicity?

I can’t wait to find out if I’m a Viking or not.

And I will keep you posted!

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Have you ever sent away for a DNA kit? Do you know where your ancestors came from? If so, let me know in the comment section!

Related article

The Dance

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200 words, believe, compassion, courage, danger, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, enabling, Fear, growing up, happy, health, integrity, joy, kindness, living in the moment, love, mission, Purpose, sacrifice, world issues

How can we know the danger from the dance?

~ William Butler Yeats

How do you recognize the difference between what is good for you and bad for you? Does fun mean bad? Does safe mean good?

How do you balance security and risk? When is it best to tread carefully? When should you throw caution to the wind?

How do you evaluate your need and their need? When do you sacrifice yourself for the good of someone else? When do your sacrifices border enabling?

Living only for our own comfort is the worst kind of extravagance; and truly brings no satisfaction in the end. And a life of consistently compromising ourselves to accommodate the agendas of others only serves to annihilate us and the gifts we could share with the world.

Can we ever really know the danger from the dance? I don’t think we can. At least not until our decisions finally play themselves out. But a really good indicator that we’re making the right decision may be to question our motives for the choices we make.

Am I acting from a place of love or am I acting from a place of fear?

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

The Ring With The Blue Stone

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children, Dad, death, Diana Schwenk, family, foundation, gift, good character, grief, growing up, History, Hump Day Chronicles, lessons, life, Life's like that, love, memories, Mom, parenting, safe, Stuff my parents used to say and do, values

My parents in 1960 and the ring with the blue stone

When you want to build something, you start with a good foundation. When you want to understand something, you start with the fundamental pillars of the subject. In other words, you learn the history, the mechanics of it, the whys and whats and wheres.

In the same way,  when you feel lost, it helps to go back to where you began so you can remember where you came from, what you have learned about this business of living, what you truly long for in life, and how you can get it and how you can share your gifts with the world. Sometimes you grab onto a symbol of the past and carry it with you like a talisman that you can look at, or touch when you need to be grounded.

Since Dad passed away, I’ve been in kind of a fog. I got the basics covered, you know…  I wake up, brush my teeth, shower, dress, exercise, go to work, eat, go to bed and start it all over again the next day. 

But I’ve lost a bit of my oomph.

A bit of my zest for life.

Dad was always my rock.

He had this way of making me feel secure and letting me know that he was there for me, no matter what.

My Plan B, if Plan A should fail.

Although I rarely resorted to Plan B, I knew I could if I had to, I knew it was there if I needed it.  

This past New Year’s Eve, as I was deciding which piece of jewelry to wear for an event I was attending, I came across the ring with the blue stone. The ring that cost forty dollars in 1960 and took Dad several weeks of saving so he could buy it for Mom to celebrate their first anniversary.

Dad was so upset when Mom gave me that ring almost thirty years later. But I’m so glad she did, so I could find it on the last day of 2016 and slip it on my finger. And with the wearing of it, remember the values he taught me and the traits he exemplified; like a good work ethic, empathy, diplomacy, loyalty and strength of character.  

What a gift!

What a great foundation from which to find my way again!

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~