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coffee with dad

Do you, or did you ever, have someone in your life that you could spend hours with, never speaking a word?

I think when a relationship gets to that point, you’ve hit a level of comfortable-ness where the two of you are just happy to be in each other’s company.

When I was school-aged, I would get home about 30 minutes before dad who liked to enjoy a nice cup of instant coffee after a long day’s work.

I had the timing down to an art. Dad was one of those people who seemed to live within a specific routine. Maybe that’s why he was always a source of comfort to me. No matter what else was going on at school, in the world, wherever, I could count on dad to do and be exactly where I knew he’d be.

So at the exact right time, I would plug the kettle in and when he’d walk in the door, I’d be making his coffee with one level teaspoon of sugar and a bit of milk. After our initial greetings we would sip coffee together quietly; dad doing one thing and me doing another. Neither of us ever feeling pressure to fill the silence with words.

People wondered about us. Wondered why we didn’t talk and how we could be so in tuned to each other.

I still love my coffee. But I’m a brewed-pot-of-coffee kinda gal now. Yet for some reason, I found myself buying instant coffee one day, a few months after dad passed away. I know now that I was just looking for a way to be with him again. A cup of instant coffee seemed like the best way to do that.

Now on Sunday afternoons when I’m thinking of dad I make myself a cup of instant coffee.

At first I worried that I had nothing to say. And then I remembered we never really had a need to break the silence with words. He knew I loved him and I knew he loved me.

I will always treasure our quiet coffee-time memories Dad.


Who’s one of your favourite people to spend time with? What do you like to do together? Is it something that you don’t do with anyone else?