Brummelbär

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Dad, daughters, Diana Schwenk, family, fathers-day, kindness, Life's like that, love, memories, parents, Relationships, Stuff my parents used to say and do

“Dad had such a deep voice,” I said to my mom on the phone a few weeks back.

“Yes, that’s why I called him my Brummelbär (Brummel bear), his voice rumbled from deep within,” she replied with tenderness in her voice.

I guess I’ve been thinking a lot about dad lately, with Father’s Day and his birthday looming closer. I used to dread June because it brought Father’s Day, my brother’s birthday and my dad’s birthday, and when I didn’t have a lot of money, it seemed taxing to buy three cards and gifts in one month.

Man, what I wouldn’t give to have that worry back, to have dad back.

Yet, I can’t really complain. I was blessed for 52 years with the best possible man for me, as my father. He was a good man, a kind man, a peaceful man. And he loved us.

As best as I can tell Brummel means rumble. And mom’s right. His voice rumbled from deep within like a bear. And it remains in my heart, in my DNA it would seem, guiding me, and still brings me comfort when I most need it.

So glad I captured his voice in this video!

Somebody Cares

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alone, caring, children, courage, daughters, family, Fear, growing up, kids, kindness, love, memories, only human, passion, shame, strong, vulnerability, weak

The other day, my beautiful daughter, Michaela, posted the letter below on her Facebook page.

If you are in your tweens/teens and feel alone, please know that you are not the first to feel like you don’t quite measure up. Things will probably get better and the things you’re learning now are making you stronger.

If you are the parent of a tween/teen remind them every day how much you love them and not just because they’re you’re kid and you have to, but because he or she is a beautiful person worthy of love.

Dear 12-year-old Michaela,

The first thing I want you to know is no matter how alone you feel right now, no matter how much you think nobody cares, your mom is your best friend and she gets you.

Being chubby is not the end of the world. I’m sorry that your peers seem to think it is. Fat does not equal ugly. Being mean and cruel is ugly. You are beautiful.

I know something really bad just happened to you. I know you’re scared. I know you are ashamed. Talk about it. Tell people. Talk to a counsellor. It’s not your fault. I promise you it’s not your fault.

I know you think you’ll never be one of the pretty girls. You are a pretty girl. Nobody needs to tell you. You have a beautiful heart, and soul and your outsides are beautiful too. Stop comparing yourself to them. You’re nothing like them.

Not everyone is going to like you, and that is so far beyond ok. It’s nothing you did. I know how hard you’re trying but sometimes people just don’t click. Michaela, let it go.
The sooner you learn to love yourself and that you are worthy of love, the happier you will be. It’s hard, it’s so so hard. But it’s coming.

Don’t feel ashamed for talking to a therapist. They are there to help you and everyone should. Shit gets hard, Michaela. You’re not weak, you’re human. Don’t be afraid to move. It’s not going to be perfect but so much good will come out of it, it doesn’t even matter.

Tell people you love them. It’s not lame. If you feel it, say it. It will change people and people will love you for it. Don’t ever be afraid to love.

Be proud of who you are, Michaela. You’re good enough. In fact, you’re so far beyond just enough. You are kind, and generous and sweet. You have so much love to give. Give it. It will come back in waves.

Never stop playing sports. I know there will be a time where it feels like you don’t even have time to breathe, but when you get that time back, get back to it.

On the same note, never stop doing what you love. Don’t let anyone’s darkness steal your passion. Your passion and joy is amazing. It isn’t lame. Screw anyone who says it is.

12-year-old me, I love you. I’m so sorry it’s so hard right now. I’m sorry you feel alone but people love you. You have no idea how good it’s going to get so please don’t be afraid. You are so beautiful. You are worthy. You are amazing. I love you, girl. It’s going to be ok.

Thank you Michaela for allowing me to share your beautiful letter on my blog. I hope it will help someone else to not feel so alone and hopeless.

Love you kiddo,

MOM ❤

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Vulnerability and Truth

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200 words, anger, believe, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, emotions, Fear, growing up, happy, health, integrity, kindness, life, love, peace, strong, Truth, weak, worry

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

― Brené Brown

It’s scary to be vulnerable, isn’t it? It makes you feel weak, and even worse it makes you appear weak to others.

Suppose you don’t know what to do about a situation at work, if you ask for help, would it seem like you cannot do the job you were hired to do?

Suppose you are grieving the loss of someone close to you, or are worried about the circumstances a loved one has found themselves in, if you talk about it or cry, would it seem as though you are too emotional?

What if you’re afraid to go to the dentist, or a job interview, or know you need to admit you were wrong about something, if you hesitate or show any anxiety, would you look like a coward?

I grew up believing it did. Crying was weak. Smiling or laughing made you look foolish. The only acceptable emotion was anger, which somehow proved that you were strong.

It can take years to finally know that vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

You Have More In Common With The World Than You Think

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200 words, common ground, community, connecting, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, differences, DNA, doing the right thing, family, Fear, in common, justice, life, love, Relationships, talents, vulnerability

We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.

William James (1842-1910)

The things that make people interesting are their unique talents. Like someone whose guitar playing moves us, or someone whose storytelling captivates us, whose art transports us, whose passion inspires us to change the course we’re on.

Sadly some things that make us different also divide us, like the colour of our skin, our level of education, our societal status, our culture, our belief system. Different takes us out of our comfort zone, makes us feel vulnerable. The unknown is frightening.

So we vilify those who aren’t like us. ‘They’ are less civilized, less intelligent than us. We create rules and laws that hurt them. We find ways to protect ourselves from them while overlooking the injustices we impose upon them.

The above quote is a good metaphor to clearly illustrate how we are all connected. What will it take for us to remember that although we are separate on the surface, we are very connected in the deep?

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES

I am so moved when the woman in the video learns she has a cousin in the room…

 

Humility, Gratitude and Service

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community, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Gratitude, growing up, happy, humanity, humility, Hump Day Chronicles, integrity, joy, kindness, laughter, life, living in the moment, love, Purpose, Relationships, service

I had the privilege of interviewing someone yesterday. Someone whose childhood was marked by abandonment, abuse and neglect. Someone who coped by making bad choices as a result.

His story was heartbreaking and made me question…

No, it made me wrestle with the whys. Why do people treat other people so horribly? And not just other adults, but children. Children who need a better foundational start at life.

But to be honest, that’s not the part of his story that stuck with me.

What stood out was his gratefulness. For every time someone showed him kindness. Every time someone reached out to help him. Went out of their way to give him hope. Saw him, loved him for who he was, took action to make a difference in his life — and did it all without judging him.

His story reminded me of all the people in my life who were pivotal, who were catalysts in changing my life for the better. Most did not even know to what extent they impacted me, inspired me, motivated me to find purpose in my life by serving others.

His story reminded me how important it is to reach out and help others just because I’ve been helped. To pay it forward, to never forget where I came from, to stay humble and grateful.

It’s what brings out the best in humanity. Don’t you think?

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Love is the Answer

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200 words, back to the basics, community, compassion, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, growing up, kindness, laughter, life, living in the moment, love, passion, peace, Purpose, Relationships, simplicity

Love is the power to see similarity in the dissimilar.

Theodor Adorno

Once, while watching one of those nature shows, I saw a leopard kill an animal and then discover that animal had a young one. The leopard then proceeded to care for the baby. We’ve all seen photos of animals caring for other animals outside their species. Of animals caring for humans and humans for animals. It’s an amazing thing to witness.

I don’t know what to call this, except to call it love. It is the kind of love that compels us, human or otherwise, to act compassionately and with kindness toward all other living creatures. The kind of love that too often is missing within the human race, within our own species, especially when they look, or believe, or live differently than us.

We haven’t suddenly become this way. It has been like this from the beginning. It’s too bad, really. Especially since the answer is so simple and obvious, so clearly within our grasp. So able to make us see that we are more alike than we are different.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Don’t you want to know love like that? I know I do.

The Slippers

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children, Dad, Diana Schwenk, family, grief, growing up, Hump Day Chronicles, life, Life's like that, loss, love, memories, parents, Relationships, Stuff my parents used to say and do

 

I have an old, ugly pair of slippers from Wal-Mart.  They make a click-clack noise. The same kind of click-clack noise Dad’s favourite slippers used to make when he walked across the kitchen floor.

*******

Winter 2012

Michaela and I went back east to spend Christmas with family. Dad was wearing those slippers and click-clacking across the floor. The noise drove Mom crazy. The next time Dad reached for those slippers after a trip into Hawkesbury, they were gone.

In the garbage.

Mom had had enough.

So me and Michaela went to the Fairview Shopping Centre in Pointe Claire and found a pair of slippers for Dad at Old Navy. We’d intentionally picked silent slippers to avoid that click-clacking sound. We couldn’t wait to give them to Dad for Christmas. On Christmas Eve we handed the wrapped slippers to him. He opened the package and angrily tossed the slippers to the side. 

“I hate them.”

They weren’t his well-worn favourite slippers and they weren’t the kind you could just slip on either. You had to bend down and stick your finger in the back to get them on.

*******

How I wish you were still with us Dad, so we could get you the perfect slippers.

The kind you wouldn’t have to struggle to get on.

The kind you could just slip your feet into.

The kind that would click-clack across the kitchen floor and drive Mom crazy and cause that smile of defiant satisfaction to tug at the corners of your mouth…

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Face to Face

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200 words, addiction, alone, community, connecting, depression, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, family, health, herd mentality, human nature, humanity, interaction, interdependent, isolation, living in the moment, love, Relationships, social, teamwork, technology

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

– Albert Einstein

I’m sure that when we first got mail service, a mother who missed her adult son said, “Now he doesn’t have to visit, he just writes a letter,” and it broke her heart.

And I’ll bet when we first got telephones that some jilted lover missed seeing her man face-to-face when he called.

And TV sure did it’s part to break up the family conversation around the dinner table.

But we got used to these things. With the passing of time, we became accustomed to each new way of communicating and being, and only bemoaned technology when a new one popped up.

These days with Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, texting, it’s almost like technology is enabling us to connect again.

But is it really?

When you don’t see facial expressions or reactions, are you really connecting?

With record numbers of people struggling with depression, addiction and loneliness and countless others thinking suicide is their best option, isn’t it time we reexamine the value of connecting one-to-one and creating a sense of belonging through community?

Isn’t it time for us to get face-to-face?

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Bad Roads, Easter Visit And Beauty Makeovers

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Alberta, children, daughter, Diana Schwenk, Easter, family, friends, Hump Day Chronicles, laughter, Life's like that, living in the moment, love, Makeover, makeup, Michaela, Michaela's Beauty Warriors, Relationships, Rosalind, Spring

This past weekend, my daughter and I thought it a fine idea to spend Easter together at hers and her boyfriend, Werner’s place in Rosalind, Alberta.

The morning I was to drive out there, we talked on the phone about how bad the secondary roads were due to snow and we decided to meet in Camrose for dinner and then drive to the farm together afterward, in case my car got stuck.

Well as luck would have it, the roads were not as bad as we thought they would be and I arrived earlier than anticipated, too early for dinner, so we met at the Paint Pottery where I painted a mug, Werner painted an elephant and Michaela painted two plates. I can’t wait to see the finished products after they’re glazed and baked!

After dinner we headed out to the farm and parked my car about a kilometer away from the house at the old school because the muddy gravel road that leads to the farm-house would surely have swallowed up my little Toyota Tercel.

It was a wonderful weekend that included a stunning makeover for me by Michaela, a not-so-stunning, but fun as heck, makeover for Michaela by me and Werner, and a wonderful Easter meal shared by me, Michaela, Werner and his parents Claudia and Manfred.

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Michaela and Werner, thank you so much for hosting me this Easter, it was so good to see you again!

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

For more Easter fun, check out me and Werner doing Michaela’s makeover on the link below!

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2F100010097341891%2Fvideos%2F442868522726389%2F&show_text=0&width=560

And, oh if you like makeup, you might want to head over here https://www.facebook.com/groups/1295392280541774/ and check out Michaela’s Beauty Warriors page. She really knows her stuff!

Paradise

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200 words, caring, community, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, family, friends, happy, health, important things, kids, laughter, life, living in the moment, love, memories, Relationships

This morning, with her, having coffee.

Johnny Cash, when asked his definition of paradise

Brilliant. So simple, yet so true. That’s what I thought when I first read this quote on my Twitter feed a few days ago.

Johnny Cash got it.

He understood.

It’s funny how paradise can turn out to be something completely different from what we thought it would be. That what we think we want is nowhere close to what we end up cherishing.

How often do we tell ourselves that when we get that promotion, when we finally can afford a house in a particular area, when who we are becomes a household name, we will have arrived? It will be like paradise.

We don’t always know what we treasure until it is lost to us. One only has to look back to realize that “those days we sat drinking coffee with whomever, while the rising sun’s rays spilled onto the kitchen table” were the best times of our lives.

It really is the people whom we love in life that make it feel as though we’re living in paradise or said more plainly – mean the very most to us.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~