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Berlin, Dad, death, Diana Schwenk, family, Father, Germany, grief, growing up, Heinz Schwenk, Hump Day Chronicles, life, Life's like that, love, memories, Opa, parents, Relationships, stories
Opa (my paternal grandfather) became a father at 27 years old when Dad was born on June 28, 1934.
Born in 1907, Opa lived through two world wars and the depression. Over the years, Dad told me many stories of his childhood growing up in Berlin, Germany.
Like the time he stole a horse from the Russians so that his family and neighbours could eat meat.
And the time he and his teenaged buddies lifted a Volkswagen over the owners fenced-in yard with a small gate – too small to drive a car through!
But I know very little about Opa. I know that he was raised by his aunt, and that he may not have known some of his siblings.
And once when Dad was in elementary school, he wet his pants in class because the teacher wouldn’t let him go to the bathroom. Opa went to the school the next day to talk to the teacher. Dad never knew what Opa had said, but the teacher told Dad that day that if he ever needed to go to the bathroom, he had permission to just go, didn’t even have to raise his hand to ask.
I know that Opa was athletic and participated in track and field. I know from our visits to Germany as a family, that Opa struggled with alcohol and by the time he was a senior, a half bottle of beer was enough to do him in. Yet even at a ripe old age, Opa could still walk up the stairs on his hands.
Opa passed away on June 28, 1987 (My Dad’s 53rd birthday). Opa had suffered a stroke on a Thursday. Dad booked the earliest flight he could get but unfortunately Opa passed away around the same time Dad’s plane landed in Berlin that Sunday.
I remember when Dad phoned to tell me Opa was dead. He was so calm on the phone, so matter-of-fact. I, on the other hand, burst into tears. Dad tried to console me. When I composed myself, it dawned on me to ask Dad how he was doing and comment on how awful it must be that his father died on his birthday. “I’m fine. Everyone dies eventually Diana. I’m ok.”
On June 28, 2012, I happened to be back east at my parent’s place for Dad’s 78th Birthday. We were talking about this and that when suddenly out of nowhere, Dad with glistening eyes said, “It’s 25 years ago today that my father died.”
I touched Dad’s arm.
What could I say?
Maybe you never quite get over the death of your father.
I get that now.
~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~
Minuscule Moments said:
Awe such a beautiful tribute Diana to your grandfather and your Dad. I remember my Dad being very calm when he lost his brother but I think he did it to protect us. Men did not cry back then and some still don’t. Life goes by but we will keep them in our hearts. Thanks for sharing those memories with us.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Kath, yes, safely tucked and cherished in our hearts. ❤
Diana xo
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April said:
I get it too. ❤ to you.
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dianasschwenk said:
❤ to you as well April. Thank you.
Diana xo
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Inger said:
Such a wonderful post Diana, it really touched my heart:)
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks so much Inger. ❤
Diana xo
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Mark David Goodson said:
Going to call my father today for you and Diana. Well, I’ll call him for me because of you.
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dianasschwenk said:
That’s beautiful Mark, made my eye leak. ❤
Diana xo
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kerbey said:
Okay, we need to discuss how he WALKED on his hands. I could never do this. I’m too brittle to even do a somersault at this point. You saw him walk on his hands?
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dianasschwenk said:
Yes I saw him. From a handstand position, he walked up the stairs on his hands. I was 12 at the time, which means he was 68.
He was in the ’36 Olympics (track and field) and he loved playing various sports like soccer. My uncle tells me that he was a bit disappointed that neither of his sons were athletes.
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kerbey said:
Amazing! In the Olympics!
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dianasschwenk said:
yeah, I’m 92.8 % sure this is true, my dad’s not around anymore to confirm, but I think I got it right. My dad had a bronze medal that Opa supposedly won.
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Jennifer Kelland Perry said:
You made me cry, Diana, with this beautiful post. There is a special bond between a father and his daughter too, don’t you think? I see your dad was born 3 months after mine. ❤️
Have you ever considered writing a memoir, Diana? ❤️
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dianasschwenk said:
Yes, I agree – I was daddy’s little girl. Really your dad was born in ’34 too? I have considered something like a memoir, maybe one day…something for future generations. Thanks Jennifer! ❤
Diana xo
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Jennifer Kelland Perry said:
You have a gift my dear. 😘
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dianasschwenk said:
thanks, means a lot coming from YOU!
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Jennifer Kelland Perry said:
Oh, pshaw. 😌
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elizabeth2560 said:
A wonderful post about love across the generations.
Hugs 🙂
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Elizabeth. Hugs back at ya! ❤
Diana xo
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Chatter Master said:
I love this picture, but even more so, I love this post.
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dianasschwenk said:
I love the picture too Colleen – thank you. ❤
Diana xo
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joannerambling said:
It is harder for older men to show their feelings, when someone they love and care for dies they often will not show how much it hurts them, wouldn’t surprise me if your dad was like that when his dad died, you were upset and he had to be strong for you and others in the family. I can tell you when my dad dies I will be a wreck same goes for when mum dies but I am female and I am a crier
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dianasschwenk said:
My dad always took things in stride and I never ever saw him cry until the last few years. Yeah, losing your folks is hard Jo-Anne. I hope yours stick around a long time. ❤
Diana xo
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Healing Grief said:
A beautiful story about two wonderful Fathers. There is a special bond between a Father and Son. Hugs to you lovely Diana 🙂
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you Karen and hugs to you too. ❤
Diana xo
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Alan A. Malizia: Contagious Optimism! Co-Author said:
Diana, Wonderful post.
We never know what one keeps in their heart. Even those closest to us. Only God does.
-Alan
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dianasschwenk said:
That’s so true Alan! I think about my dad every day since he passed, but I don’t talk about him every day. I wonder if my dad did the same… ❤
Diana xo
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patricia Boisse said:
Painful emotions are just below the surface and have a way of resurfacing when they have been touched by our memories.
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dianasschwenk said:
Don’t they Pat? Thanks for stopping by here – talk about memories! I hope you and Norm are well. ❤
Diana xo
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Patrick Nixon said:
I love this story, We can learn a lot from a little. You had few details on your OPA but put together they told a complete story. Vary nice.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you so much Pat. The last time I saw my Opa, I was looking out the back window of our taxi and he was standing in the middle of the street, waving goodbye with tears streaming down his face. It’s funny Dad wasn’t an emotional man, but he became so in his 70s and reminded me so much of Opa. ❤
Diana xo
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The Good Greatsby said:
There are so many things I wish I’d asked my grandparents. I don’t think they thought their experiences were anything special or unique so there are lots of things they never talked about and I only heard secondhand after they were gone.
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dianasschwenk said:
Interesting! Who of us think that our experiences are that interesting, but the smallest thing can be an uh-huh-that’s-where-I-get-it-from moment for future generations, can’t it? ❤
Diana xo
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russtowne said:
Thank you for this interesting and touching post, Diana. He must have been quite a man.
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dianasschwenk said:
He was such a storyteller Russ-I wish I had paid more attention on our trips to Germany. ❤
Diana xo
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Ann Koplow said:
Such a touching post, Diana. Love to you. ❤
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you Ann and to you. ❤
Diana xo
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utesmile said:
It is so great to hear stories from Opa and Oma . I always loved it. My Oma stole apples from the community park one night and pretended to be ill so she could go to bed an don’t be punished…. Clever. We do miss our passed away parents and grandparents… I know how you feel, still good to hear stories and remember them like that. Hugs
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dianasschwenk said:
Yes Ute. Your Oma was indeed a clever lady – thanks for sharing that story! ❤
Diana xo
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vanbytheriver said:
It’s still pretty raw. Hugs to you, Diana.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Van. Hugs back at ya. ❤
Diana xo
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