Running Eagle

Tags

Calgary, Canada, courage, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, stories, Women

I care not what people say of me so long as I do right. I shall never be any man’s slave.

~ Running Eagle

Running Eagle was the oldest of five children; a female warrior who chafed against the expectations for her as a girl.

During a hunt, she rescued her father, riding head on into a hail of hostile fire after his horse was shot out from under him. Her tribe celebrated her daring exploits, but some members of the community rejected her because she wasn’t behaving like a woman.

The first time she followed a raiding party the leader tried to turn her away. She refused to leave and he threatened to cancel the raid altogether. Brown Weasel Woman countered: If you cancel the raid against the Crows I will go on by myself, she told him.

She won the argument and the battle, distinguishing herself by capturing 11 horses and defeating two enemy warriors who counter-attacked the raiding party as it returned to the Peigan camp.

It was only after she completed a vision quest that she was accepted. She was invited to participate in a Medicine Lodge Ceremony and given the name Running Eagle-which was reserved for only the greatest warriors – the first time it was bestowed on a woman.

Running Eagle never married, led many successful hunts and war parties, and fell in combat against Flathead warriors sometime after 1878.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

* I found this amazing story, posted by the YWCA on Instagram, and copied it here, word for word. This story reminds me that when I feel strongly about something, I shouldn’t let a little opposition stand in my way. Have a wonderful Sunday!

Advertisement

7 Things Dad would want you to know

Tags

believe, caring, children, courage, Dad, death, Diana Schwenk, family, Fear, friends, generosity, grief, growing up, happy, health, Hump Day Chronicles, joy, kids, laughter, life, lifetime, living in the moment, loss, love, memories, Mom, parents, Relationships, sadness, stories, Stuff my parents used to say and do

This post has been sitting in my draft folder since December 2015, just a short month after Dad passed. It hasn’t felt right to publish it until now. ♡

*******

Dear Mom,

I’ve been thinking about you and Dad and our family.

In particular, I’ve been thinking about how Dad and I could just sit in the same room, not saying anything, yet somehow be on the same page. And I’ve been thinking about some of the conversations Dad and I have had over the years and I think there are at least seven things that Dad would want you to know.

I’ve listed them below in the form of a letter to you from Dad.

Meine Liebe Salat Schnecke,

1.       Don’t ever doubt how much I loved you

Remember our Wedding night? It wasn’t a fancy party. We did the best we could though and we had fun right? I can still see you running through the street singing in the middle of the night when you’d had a little too much to drink.

What the neighbours must have thought!

But I didn’t care, you seemed happy and honestly Margot, I may not have been able to express myself well, but that’s what I wanted for you. I always wanted you to be happy.

I knew how hard your life had been, I wanted to show you how good it could be.

Remember when we arrived in Canada and once we got on our feet a bit? You have no idea how happy it made me to see you eat butter, eat at a restaurant, eat fruit and cakes and whatever you could get your hands on. Remember that time I brought a dozen lemon donuts home when you were pregnant and you ate 11 of them? I didn’t mind that there was only one donut left for me.

It made me smile to watch you eat all the foods you missed in your childhood.

2.       Building our family

I know you were scared and so determined that our children would never be harmed like you had been. I was shocked that time you would even think I might hurt them but I grew to understand where this fear came from. I loved our kids – I would have done anything for them, and I think I was able to convince you of that with time, right?

No regrets Margot.  Don’t ever underestimate the value of what we were able to give our kids. Sure we weren’t perfect parents, we made mistakes along the way, but we did everything to the best of our ability for them and I think they turned out pretty good, don’t you?

3.       Our 50^th anniversary

Mom and Dad’s 50th Anniversary

Wasn’t that a fun party, Margot? I was so excited to celebrate with you. You looked so beautiful in that blue dress, I was so proud beside you in my new suit. And look how many friends came to celebrate with us!

And our trip to Germany! Yes Canada was our home now, but how wonderful it was to go to the place where we met and married to celebrate our 50^th.

4.       You were a real handful sometimes

A fighter. A hard worker. You had fire in your eyes!

Yeah there were times I wished you would just calm down, relax a little. Just let go of stuff, but maybe it was your pushing that got us as far as we got. And even when you were angry, I knew it was because you were afraid that things wouldn’t work out – those ghosts from the past were haunting you. I knew that you were fighting for the very best.

And you know what? I think I may have originally been drawn to that about you. You have spunk!

I mean who else would have moved to a new country, not knowing the language to start a new life with me? I chose well. You were the right partner for me.

You worked just as hard as me. Remember our job at that summer camp? Picking apples?  Making hats? And all the other jobs we had until I got that job at Kraft Foods and we bought our first home? And even then you cleaned houses to help out with the expenses. Yes we worked hard for what we built.

5.       Regrets

Maybe I could have been more supportive at times. Like when you were seasick on our voyage to Canada or when you broke your ankle. Maybe I could have told you more how much I appreciated you. I just never was one for words. But make no mistake; I was grateful and I really cared about you, even if I wasn’t very good at saying it.

6.       The last few years

I know how hard it was for you to watch me on the couch in pain. It was hard for me too. I wanted to be healed. And sometimes you made me angry when you pushed so hard for me to get up or exercise. But when I would think about it, I knew you were scared. I knew you meant well.

But the hardest thing, Margot was to see what my poor health was doing to you. You were so brave. That’s why I tried so hard to be brave too. That’s why I tried not to complain even when I couldn’t drive the car anymore. You did everything. I really wish I could have helped around the house more. I was so sure I would get better and things would go back to normal. But I didn’t. I’m so sorry things didn’t work out the way we had hoped. If I had known that I wouldn’t get better, perhaps we could have made arrangements that would have made the last years easier for both of us.

7.       Now that I’m gone

Our last few years together were hard, and I am so thankful for all you did for me. I know you’re sad and that you must grieve – after all we spent 56 years together, one doesn’t get over that quickly. But don’t just remember the last years. Remember the fun times. The family vacations. The German Club New Year’s dances. When I taught you how to drive. Those nights we walked around the block when the kids were in bed.

And don’t grieve too long. There is so much more for you to experience. Spend time with our kids, our grandkids, our wonderful friends. Get back out there doing the stuff you love to do. Simplify your life. Laugh, live and love. Life is far too precious to do otherwise. Grab onto life with both hands and enjoy it as much as you can. And know that when your time comes, I’ll be here, waiting for you.

Dein Mann, Heinz

I Get That Now

Tags

Berlin, Dad, death, Diana Schwenk, family, Father, Germany, grief, growing up, Heinz Schwenk, Hump Day Chronicles, life, Life's like that, love, memories, Opa, parents, Relationships, stories

Opa, 66, with his Daschund (Cherry) in 1973.

Opa (my paternal grandfather) became a father at 27 years old when Dad was born on June 28, 1934.

Born in 1907, Opa lived through two world wars and the depression. Over the years, Dad told me many stories of his childhood growing up in Berlin, Germany.

Like the time he stole a horse from the Russians so that his family and neighbours could eat meat.

And the time he and his teenaged buddies lifted a Volkswagen over the owners fenced-in yard with a small gate – too small to drive a car through!

But I know very little about Opa. I know that he was raised by his aunt, and that he may not have known some of his siblings.

And once when Dad was in elementary school, he wet his pants in class because the teacher wouldn’t let him go to the bathroom. Opa went to the school the next day to talk to the teacher. Dad never knew what Opa had said, but the teacher told Dad that day that if he ever needed to go to the bathroom, he had permission to just go, didn’t even have to raise his hand to ask.

I know that Opa was athletic and participated in track and field. I know from our visits to Germany as a family, that Opa struggled with alcohol and by the time he was a senior, a half bottle of beer was enough to do him in. Yet even at a ripe old age, Opa could still walk up the stairs on his hands.

Opa passed away on June 28, 1987 (My Dad’s 53rd birthday). Opa had suffered a stroke on a Thursday. Dad booked the earliest flight he could get but unfortunately Opa passed away around the same time Dad’s plane landed in Berlin that Sunday.

I remember when Dad phoned to tell me Opa was dead. He was so calm on the phone, so matter-of-fact. I, on the other hand, burst into tears. Dad tried to console me. When I composed myself, it dawned on me to ask Dad how he was doing and comment on how awful it must be that his father died on his birthday. “I’m fine. Everyone dies eventually Diana. I’m ok.”

On June 28, 2012, I happened to be back east at my parent’s place for Dad’s 78th Birthday. We were talking about this and that when suddenly out of nowhere, Dad with glistening eyes said, “It’s 25 years ago today that my father died.”

I touched Dad’s arm.

What could I say?

Maybe you never quite get over the death of your father.

I get that now.

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

 

Celebrating Josee

Tags

Alberta, British Columbia, Calgary, Canada, celebrate, Chateauguay, courage, death, Diana Schwenk, friends, grateful, grief, growing up, Hump Day Chronicles, Josee Bull, laughter, life, Life's like that, living in the moment, loss, love, memories, Quebec, Relationships, stories

I remember one summer day in the early 90’s when Josee picked me up from my apartment in Calgary with the Sporty featured on the above photo.

My friendship with Josee started long before then though. We met in the mid 70s and spent a lot of time in the basement of her house on Maple Crescent beside the park in Chateauguay, Quebec.

Ahh that basement. It was like an episode of ‘That 70s Show.’ It was there that we graduated from drinking tea to playing darts, smoking cigarettes, drinking beer and talking about our relationships with the opposite sex. Thinking back, I feel bad for Josee’s mom who had to put up with us. But then again, she always seemed to be happy to see us.

Josee and I didn’t really stay in touch much after I left Chateauguay, but every decade or so we would manage to get together over a meal and catch up on each others’ lives. I was surprised and shocked when I heard the news of Josee’s passing a few weeks back.

This past Saturday, we celebrated Josee’s life at her daughter’s place. That’s the way Josee wanted it. She didn’t want people crying, she wanted us to enjoy hamburgers and chili, two of her favourite menu choices, and to reminisce about all the fun times we had. There were a lot of people there, family and friends, for this celebration hosted by Melodie and her husband Jordan.

Lots of stories were shared, but one of my favourites was told by Melodie. It seems that when Melodie was about 15 years old she was upset and in tears about a fight she’d had with her then boyfriend and current husband Jordan. Josee took the matter into her own hands by hopping on her Harley and riding it to Jordan’s workplace.

I could see it in my mind as Melodie shared the story – Josee, a petite yet formidable woman, pulling up to Jordan’s work place, taking off her helmet and shaking out that long dark hair, her jaw set in determination. Then spotting Jordan and walking toward him to give him hell. Man, he must have been shaking in his boots when she told him that if he cared about Melodie he should make it right and if he didn’t he should just get lost. I’m telling you, we were all laughing by the end of that story!

I also learned through her partner Sean how much she loved to travel. Often she went alone to bike through Europe for example, or visit places like Africa and Thailand. And I learned that she’d been a business owner for some years and then later she and Sean decided to sell the business and manage a resort in British Columbia so that they could travel together during the off-season.

Listening to all the stories, I couldn’t help but wish that I’d made more of an effort to stay in touch with Josee so that I could have known firsthand the person she had become. But maybe life plays out the way it’s supposed to. And maybe because it played out the way it did, it brings those of us who remain together to share our little part of her story, and in doing so we can see the bigger picture of Josee’s story together.

At one point on Saturday, I could not stop looking at Josee’s Sportster. In many ways the staging of Josee’s bike with her jacket laid across the seat at Melodie’s acreage, seemed the perfect tribute to her.

It spoke of her free-spirit, her courage, and her ability to reach her goals.

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Josee, You will be missed. Your courage and determination in life, and in facing death, are a great inspiration to us. Rest in Peace my friend.

Doing Things Together Is Like Magic To Me

Tags

building community, common ground, community, compassion, connecting, heart-to-heart, Hump Day Chronicles, laughter, life, living in the moment, love, mission, passion, Purpose, Relationships, stories, vision, working together, world issues

We can do more together than can be accomplished alone

This last week has served to remind me how much I value, and how important community is. Community, or a sense of belonging if you will, drives us to discover the things we have in common and start from there to create something beautiful together.

On Thursday night from 6:30PM to 3:30AM on Friday, I volunteered with a group of people, some of whom I’d never met, at a local casino to raise funds for Oxford House Foundation of Canada. It was only the second time I’d ever worked a volunteer shift at a casino. And oh man, staying up all night is not as easy to bounce back from as it was in my twenties! A month or two ago I worked a day shift for another wonderful organization called Fresh Start.

I gotta tell ya, both volunteer shifts were incredibly fun in that I always like learning new things and I always love meeting new people. The outstanding part of this experience for me, has got to be the fact that over the two days that a non-profit organization hosts a casino, up to 40 volunteers are needed to make it work. And they all work together, very hard I might add, to benefit a specific charity.

It really is something of great value when opportunities like this arise and one is able to take part in them!

On the following Saturday, I was invited to speak to a group of about hundred people on fundraising. Fundraising is both a science and an art, and I focused my talk on the art.

The art is all about relationships. And relationships are all about two-way communication, learning from each other and adding and gaining value from working together. In essence, it’s about building community which just happens to be my core passion!

My talk was divided into parts including: Know yourself and know others. One of the best ways to build solid relationships is to connect through stories: telling your story, learning their story and building a story together.

In other words, my story with the challenges I’ve faced and the resolutions I’ve come to have shaped who I am, what I value, what I am passionate about and why. The same is true of your story. When I know myself and I know you and what your values and passions are, we can find ways to be together for the greater good to create a better world for all of us. We are committed through our common values, passion and goals.

Now that’s like magic to me! What could possibly be more meaningful than that?

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

What is one of your favourite stories about working with a group toward a common goal? What was one of the challenges you have faced in your life that has made you who you are today? Which values did you adopt because of it? What are you passionate about?

 

Technology: Does It Connect or Disconnect Us?

Tags

cell phone, communication, community, connecting, family, First World Problems, friends, social, social media, stories, technology, Tourist in my own city

A recurring conversation I find myself a part of, is whether technology has marked the end of connecting with people or opened up a way to connect that would not have been possible in days gone by.

Louise wrote on Monday in her post 52 Acts of Grace l week 2 about how difficult it is to share even a smile with people on the sidewalk or C-train, because most folks seem to be staring at the tiny screen on their cell phone.

I’m sure we can all share tales of being at meetings or out with friends only to be interrupted or completely ignored because someone is texting or Facebooking or Tweeting or taking selfies or…

I’ve been guilty of it myself.

I have a friend who admonishes me every time I take a picture, convinced that I’m missing the real-life-sized experience when I’m looking at it through the screen of my Blackberry Q10.

And I admit that any picture I’ve ever taken pales in comparison to the beautiful beach, mountain range or sunset I view in person with my own eyes.

Maybe while trying to capture the moment, I lose it all together.

And then there’s safety!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been walking down the street and I have to stop dead in my tracks, because the person approaching me is staring at that screen, completely unaware of what’s going on around them.  I cannot guess if they will go left or right and so I stop. When they finally sense my presence it shocks them – some have even given me dirty looks!

More frightening are the times I cross the street and someone making a right-hand turn while using their device narrowly avoids hitting me with their car. I’ve learned to make eye contact before stepping into the cross walk.

So when I read Louise’s post on Monday, I mentioned I was texting on Easter Sunday. I couldn’t be with my family. My brother and his family and my mom were having lunch at the Willows Inn in Hudson, Quebec and the next best thing to being there was texting each other Easter wishes and real-time photos.

So you see sometimes technology does connect us. Only problem is, I was walking while texting and almost tripped on a crack in the sidewalk!

Below, the pictures we took and shared in real-time

Mom and Mike at Willows Inn

Me on the corner of 14th Str and 13 Ave SW

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

So what do you think? Does technology connect or disconnect us?

Over-Easy, Hard

Tags

Alberta, brunch, Calgary, Diana Schwenk, friends, funny, growing up, happy, health, humour, Hump Day Chronicles, joy, living in the moment, stories, The Breakfast Company

You don’t look like a crack whore!

Me, Kathie, Carmen and Adele at the Breakfast Company, Calgary AB

Now that I’ve got your attention with my shocking title and quote, I want to tell you about my friends.

You know those friends you’ve known for a long time but hardly get to see, maybe once a year if you’re lucky, yet when you do see them it’s as if you haven’t been apart, you just continue where you left off?

They’re the friends that know life can get busy because it’s busy for them too, so no hard feelings if you haven’t kept in touch.

I first met the lovely ladies in the photo above at the Mustard Seed where we all volunteered and worked at some point in our lives. I’m the oldest in the quartet and was the last to join the foursome in 1990.

Anyway, Adele contacted us a few weeks back to see if we’d like to do brunch together and we all jumped on the opportunity. So this past Saturday we met at the Breakfast Company on Edmonton Trail ‘to do brunch’.

Old friends are somewhat like family in the sense that when they get together after a long period of time, they revert to who they were back then. We are no different.

We did some catching up to find out who was working where and doing what. We talked about Kathie’s company, how my attempt at self-employment didn’t work out. How Carmen took a media communications class at SAIT, but it was very hard to get a job in that field and the work that Adele is doing around mental health and addiction at the hospital.

I told them of a cartoon I saw recently of a folk singer on stage with a guitar and the caption read, “This next song is about giving up on your dream so you can pay the rent.” We all laughed.

We talked about losing our dads and how that affected our moms and changed each of us forever.  Sadly, one of the ladies has also lost her mom.

We talked about how I am the oldest of us four and Carmen is the youngest and Adele has the youngest looking hands and I have the oldest looking hands (too much sun bathing I guess).

We talked about the birthday trip that Kathie is going on next month with fellow students from the university she attended, all of them have their birthdays within the same week of each other.

This led to a discussion about how gross passport pictures are because you’re not allowed to smile. We surmised that the deer-in-the-headlight photos that result are exactly what we would look like if we were nervous going through customs because we had drugs or something. We bemoaned the fact that we are not allowed to smile on our driver’s license anymore either.  We even passed around our licenses to each other and analyzed the photos!

At the end of brunch, as we hugged out our goodbyes, we expressed a desire to get together more often. We’ll see how that works out. If not, it’ll be ok because we know that life can get busy – no hard feelings.

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

I suppose I should explain the title and opening quote.

When the waitress came to take our orders, she asked Carmen how she would like her eggs. Carmen said, “You know, fried… like over-easy but with the yolk cooked… ” “You mean over-hard,” said the waitress with a smirk.

During brunch I told the group that I looked like a crack whore in my passport photo. Later when we passed our driver’s licenses around, someone yelled out, “You don’t look like a crack whore!”

After brunch, on the sidewalk…

“I should call this post Over-easy, Hard – You don’t look like a crack whore!

(laughter)

Ahh I’m not brave enough to do that.”

“DO IT!!!!”

(shrug) “Ok.”

Oxford House is on Facebook and Twitter!

Tags

addiction, Alberta, Calgary, Canada, caring, community, compassion, connecting, Diana Schwenk, dry housing, Edmonton, facebook, home, Hump Day Chronicles, non-profit, Oxford House, recovery, stories, Twitter

Meet Earl, Oxford House’s Program Coordinator and Tracey, Finance Coordinator and Vince, Support Worker and yup, that’s me at the end as we appear on our new Oxford House Facebook page!

See that yellow oval circle I drew around the sign up button? That’s where you would click on our Facebook page to sign up to receive awesome emails from us. And that’s just what I’m asking you to do. Sign up and like our page. You can also find us on twitter @OxfordHouseAB!

It just blows my mind that as of today, I’ve been at Oxford House for 271 days and I’m feeling very grateful to be here. I’ve participated in two events. Arranged for three plaques to be given to generous funders. Developed and implemented a monthly donor program. Sent out a media release for needed items during the holidays. Created an annual report. Thanked countless folks for their generosity. Pulled and analyzed loads of data and…and can you tell I’ve been in up to my armpits in stats???

Yet stats are only what we use to back up our incredible stories and that, as you know if you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, is what really turns my crank. Because stories are what connect us.

Like Janice who told me in a matter-of-fact way, “I’ve been a low-life my whole life.” Heart-breaking words, but it’s not unusual for people to feel this way when they first come to Oxford House.

“I love it here,” she said while we chatted on the phone.

Believe it or not, it’s also something she has to get used to – living in a sober house, free from the pressure of people enticing her to have a drink, that is.

Last year Janice was in a serious car accident that resulted in brain damage leaving the whole left side of her body numb.

She spent a month of her four-month stay at the hospital in a coma. “It was a wakeup call.”

More determined than ever, Janice signed up for a six-week treatment program and then applied for housing with us.

Since living here, Janice is grateful to have a place to call home. “It is hard sometimes, I feel lonely.” But she’s working on that too, having recently signed up for an art journal course and registering with a job placement agency.

Janice is not a low-life. And we will stick by her until she knows this for herself and is ready to move on.

I think we can all relate to Janice in the sense that we’ve all had wake up calls, we’ve all felt lonely and deficient in some way. I know there have certainly been times when I’ve felt that I didn’t quite measure up.

Our stories and your stories and their stories form a beautiful tapestry of our collective human experience.

And that’s why we want to share our stories with you. And we really, really want you to share your passions and stories with us.

So what do you say?

Will you connect with us on Facebook and Twitter?

I hope you say yes by clicking the links above!

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Remember You Have A Friend

Tags

200 words, apart, Dad, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, family, friends, grief, loss, reading, stories, writing

“When twilight drops her curtain down and pins it with a star, remember that you have a friend though she may wander far.” ~  L.M. Montgomery

You may have noticed that I haven’t been writing as much as I used to.

You may also have noticed that I haven’t visited your blog as often as I have in the past.

And you would be right. It’s true.

But not because I don’t love writing. And not because I don’t love reading what you write. And not because I don’t love the community I have come to know here in the blogosphere.

I guess in losing Dad, I’ve been feeling a little lost myself and some things, even the things I love have not seemed as urgent to me at this moment in time.

But please know this.

I do value and miss you.

I love sharing my stories with you. I love that you share your stories with me.

And even though I’m not here as much as before I hope that when twilight drops her curtain down and pins it with a star,  you remember that you have a friend though I may wander far.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

The Feeling Is Mutual My Dear

Tags

Alberta, Calgary, caring, community, courage, dreams, friends, growing up, happy, health, Hump Day Chronicles, joy, kindness, life, memories, Relationships, stories

You ever have one of those Oh-man-I-love-this-product experiences only to discover the next time you go to get some more that it’s been discontinued?

The ‘They ran out of my favourite product’ Facepalm

I don’t know when I was first introduced to them.

I can’t remember if I bought them at a market, or if someone made some and gave them to me. All I know is that I loved them.

I mean they got the job done.

THEY WERE AMAZING!!

And no word of a lie. For probably 30 years or more, every now and then, I’ve talked about them with someone.

I’d say things like:  “Did you ever have them?

What did you think of them?

Aren’t they great?

Hey do you know where I could get some?”

And then I would resign myself again to the fact that they just don’t exist anymore…

More on them in a bit…

I first met Stephanie about 25 or so years ago. I was working at a Drop-In Coffee House for homeless people. Stephanie was one of many teenagers I got to know back then.

Truth is I don’t know much about how she ended up getting caught up in street culture, but I do remember looking into her face and thinking she was an old soul.

You ever meet a kid like that? I mean you look into her eyes and there’s a depth and knowledge in there; something you don’t usually see until someone’s been around for quite a bit longer than a teenager.

Then we lost touch.

Maybe 10 or so years later, she showed up again. She was in town and came by to say hi. Our organization had moved locations and was no longer a Drop In, but she found us.

No longer on the streets, she had changed her life. Now living on the west coast, she was a working mom taking care of her kids. I was so happy for her and so proud of how she was making a better life for her family.

Fast forward a few more years and Facebook comes along and we find each other again. And then one day recently, she posted a picture of THEM!

I’d thought they were gone forever, but there they were on my timeline. And Stephanie makes them!

I immediately commented on them, saying something like, “I love those! Nothing has ever worked for me like them!

In response, Stephanie sent me a private message, “What’s your address, I’ll send some to you?”

They arrived on Monday with a note that said something like, “Thanks for being there for me during hard times. I’m glad we’re still in touch.”

The feeling is mutual my dear Stephanie

Maybe you don’t know this, but I was struggling back then too – and people like you inspired me and made me want to be a better person.

Thank you for being there for me Stephanie.

And thank you for these awesome dish cloths and extras!

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~