Tags
200 words, caring, compassion, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, encourage, feedback, Goethe, growth, happy, hurtful, joy, kindness, love, Relationships, Say something nice, Talking behind my back
Be generous with kind words, especially about those who are absent. ~ Goethe
In order to ‘undo’ the effects of having said something hurtful, you need to say up to 10 encouraging things.
Even then, another hurtful comment down the road can bring a person right back to the pain of the original comment.
Am I saying we can never be critical or evaluate behaviours? of course not! Constructive feedback is essential to growth.
We know that being hurt is unavoidable, especially for those of us who have raised children and want so badly for them to find their niche. Getting hurt is part of growing up. It happens.
And when it happens, isn’t it good to have a circle of folks who’ve got your back and want the best for you?
It’s also said that we shouldn’t talk about others behind their back.
I say go for it.
But say something nice!
Because you know what’s better than someone saying something nice to you?
Somebody saying something nice about you, to someone else, and it getting back to you!
~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~
The next time someone says something wonderful about someone you know – go tell them!
Kristi said:
LOVE this post D! Will try it. 🙂
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
Let me know how it goes! I bet you do it all the time already. ❤
Diana xo
LikeLike
Kristi said:
I wish. 😀 Will sure try next time I catch myself gossiping. Have a great weekend D! hugs
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
You too my friend!
LikeLike
inkposts said:
Great post. Very encouraging and positive.
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving your encouraging words! ❤
Diana xo
LikeLike
Eric Alagan said:
I love that Diana – it’s better to say something nice about a person to another – as long as it’s truthful I reckon. Most times, if I don’t have something nice to say – I keep silent.
If someone asks me a pointed question about another whom I know to be a fraud or worse – I’ll say it as it is – to prevent the first person from getting hurt.
Peace,
Eric
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
Once I visited Atlanta, Georgia and that is when I learned what is meant by southern hospitality. The hotel staff and general population were so hospitable and kind. One man told me that he never says anything bad about anybody.
I said, oh yeah? What if I wanted to hire someone you worked with for 10 years who was a bad worker and I asked you for a reference??? What would you say?
His answer, “I don’t know him very well.” 🙂
LikeLike
Eric Alagan said:
I learned something today – thank you Diana – perhaps this is something I can use.
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
It would feel like a lie to me to say that… but I sure admired his kindness…
LikeLike
Sheryl said:
What a wonderful perspective! I’m going to say something nice behind a couple people’s back today.
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
That’s awesome Sheryl – I hope it gets back to them!
Diana xo
LikeLike
Tracy Lee Karner said:
A long, long time ago I learned never to trust people who say mean things behind someone’s back. They’ll inevitably say mean things behind yours, too. I know a couple of people who say nice things behind people’s back. It’s a good habit to adopt. I have made it a practice not to talk about people; I never thought of going the other way and talking up their good points.
Great idea, my dear!
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Tracy! It is obvious, and has been from the beginning to me, that you are a person of integrity. Thanks for weighing in Tracy!
Diana xo
LikeLike
When in New Places said:
Wise, wise words and advice Diana! I love this!
~ Andrea ❤
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Andrea!
Diana xo
LikeLike
joannerambling said:
I would like to say I only say nice things about people but have to be honest I am not that nice I sometimes will say that I think someone is horrible but not to their face I am not like that to their face I will be polite not friendly just not rude either
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
Polite is good.
Diana xo
LikeLike
sedge808 said:
such a positive thing to do to undo the little mistakes we can all make from time to time.
G.
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
Yes and it’s relatively easy!
Diana xo
LikeLike
elizabeth2560 said:
I always try and find the good in people and some people get annoyed at me because they like to gossip. Then I am confronted with the hardest test of all, trying to think and say good things about the gossipers.
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
(smiling) and I bet you’re good at doing that Elizabeth!
Diana xo
LikeLike
Val Boyko said:
I love this message Diana.
I’d like to do this as much as possible every day as a practice this week!
Keep paying it forward Diana 🙂
Hugs
Val
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
So glad you liked it Val and hugs back at ya! ❤
Diana xo
LikeLike
Jennifer's Journal said:
I have never heard that quote before. If only everyone would follow it!
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
It’s a great quote, eh? I try to follow it and forgive myself when I slip up. 🙂
Diana xo
LikeLike
MeglyMc said:
One of the hardest lessons to learn, as an adult, is that what other people think about you ISN’T your business. I will, however, say that, in this case…it’s lovely. 🙂
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
Yes what you say is true and yes in this particular case it’s awesome. Thank you for chiming in Meg!
Diana xo
LikeLike
peakperspective said:
This was truly a delight to read, Diana, and one thousand percent true. Thanks for the charming reminder and the quiet words of wisdom. Cheers to you!
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
(smiling) Thanks for your kind words. ❤
Diana xo
LikeLike
markbialczak said:
This is a great truth, Diana. I’ll say something nice about you to somebody else soon, maybe even to that great WordPress friend that you have, Rachel Carrera. Don’t you think that Rachel is a really fine writer? I really do. And Rachel has a tremendous sense of humor, too.
Thanks for reminding me that being nice behind somebody’s back is really no trouble at all, Diana.
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
Rachel is awesome Mark! There is something so beautifully authentic about her. ❤
Diana xo
LikeLike
markbialczak said:
Yes, indeed. Another good thing is that I do believe you and I found each other through her blog. 🙂
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
Yes! She reblogged one of your posts! Very generous spirit!
LikeLike
markbialczak said:
And the rest is history still being made. 🙂
LikeLike
markbialczak said:
Hey, Diana. You are a good soul for the spirit of this post, joking aside. Thank you for looking out for the human spirit.
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
You’re welcome and thank you!
LikeLike
Denise Hisey said:
Great twist on something that is too often hurtful!
😉
You rock Diana!
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
Thank you Denise. ❤
Diana xo
LikeLike
Ian Munro @ leadingessentially.com said:
What a great truth you speak. The gift of gratitude is amazing. In the field of emotional intelligence gratitude is known to increase the capacity of positive emotions in the person who is being grateful.
LikeLike
dianasschwenk said:
It’s probably one of the greatest contributors to happiness Ian!
Diana xo
LikeLike