The Story of Your Life

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That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.

Friedrich Nietzsche

I recently read that when you want to bulk up your muscles by working out, it tears your muscle and creates a scar. That scar is what makes your muscle bulkier and makes you stronger.

Reading that reminded me of the above quote.

Every scar. Every physical, emotional and spiritual wound. Every stretch mark you endure, tells the story of your life. It shows what you have endured and survived, and makes you stronger.

Our scars make us stronger. They make us more beautiful, more uniquely us, and as an extra bonus, more compassionate and kind toward others. They tell the story of our life.

But just as with any workout routine, you first decide to be healthier, you embrace the current discomfort, you work through the pain, you rest when you need to, and then do it again. it takes time to see the results.

Consider this the next time you feel broken.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

My Word For 2018

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believe, courage, encouragement, Fear, growing up, growth, Happy New Year, letting go, love, mindful, power, powerlessness, release, resiliency, surrender, trust, Truth

Have you ever noticed that the circumstances in life that you struggle with the most seem to repeat themselves over and over again, until you finally find a way to handle them differently?

In past years, I have chosen a word for the upcoming new year. Words like tenacity and service, or perhaps the words actually chose me as my friend Louise Gallagher, over at Dare Boldly has often suggested.

I am certain that my word for 2018 chose me.

Let It Go.

Yes, I know those are three words, but no single word I’ve found, such as release, or surrender, or acquiesce, have fully meant to me what those three little words have come to mean.

I realize, as well, that those three little words have not just made their debut in 2017. They have been waiting patiently at the sidelines for three years, maybe more.

You see, in my family, an issue arises and we scramble to “Fix It”. This works well when it’s a manageable situation like, my car won’t start – call AMA, or my computer is acting up – have you tried rebooting it.

Yet there are many situations in life where you can do all you know to do, and it doesn’t get fixed. There are variables that are simply out of your control, and those are the very things, in my case, that can roll around in my head like a PowerPoint presentation or video that has been set to ‘continuous loop.’

That loop can take over, and more often than not, it prevents me from taking action in other situations, over which I actually have some measure of power to make a difference.

And so, those three little words unassumingly step forward for the millionth time to gently nudge me, encourage me to recognize, to really see that it is time to let it go, to trust, and accept, and even embrace the natural unfolding of what is.

And yes, it really is as simple as that.

Wishing you all an amazing 2018 filled with courage, growth, resiliency and love,

Diana

I’d Rather Feel Something

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caring, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Fear, growth, happy, health, Hump Day Chronicles, joy, kindness, laughter, learning, life, Life's like that, living in the moment, love, pain, sorrow, strong

I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all. A phrase I’ve uttered many times over the years. A phrase that’s elicited just as many reactions.

Before you write me off completely as a wingnut, hear me out. It’s not that I want to feel pain, or sorrow for that matter, or fear, or abandonment, or rejection, or betrayal. It’s just that given a choice between any of them or nothing, I’d rather not feel nothing.

I have felt nothing on a handful of occasions; when I’ve given up, or I’m tired, or I just don’t care anymore. Nothing matters, whether I ever eat or sleep or shower again, whether I live or die.

Feeling nothing, being numb feels like being dead inside and that scares me more than anything else.

The sting of pain and sorrow and fear, etc., reminds me I’m alive and experience has shown me that it will pass and if I pay attention and embrace it, I will be stronger for it, I will learn to prioritize better, I will have more joy in my life, I will grow in compassion.

I loved this poem when I came across it today. I hope it speaks to you as well.

Love Sorrow

Love sorrow. She is yours now, and you must take care of what has been given. Brush her hair, help her into her little coat, hold her hand, especially when crossing a street. For, think,

what if you should lose her? Then you would be sorrow yourself; her drawn face, her sleeplessness would be yours. Take care, touch her forehead that she feel herself not so

utterly alone. And smile, that she does not altogether forget the world before the lesson. Have patience in abundance. And do not ever lie or ever leave her even for a moment

by herself, which is to say, possibly, again, abandoned. She is strange, mute, difficult, sometimes unmanageable but, remember, she is a child. And amazing things can happen. And you may see,

as the two of you go walking together in the morning light, how little by little she relaxes; she looks about her; she begins to grow.

Mary Oliver

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Crossroads

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afraid, approval, confusion, courage, Diana Schwenk, doubts, Fear, growing up, growth, Hump Day Chronicles, insecure, life, memories, mission, passion, peace, Purpose, Relationships, struggles, vision, vulnerability, writing

Several years back, I was faced with a difficult choice. I was at a crossroad. I was so inside my own head, I could not find a way out. I could not see a clear path. I hurt so much, emotionally, spiritually and physically.

Sometimes, when things seem murky, when I can’t see clearly, when I am afraid – I write. I write as fast as I can to capture the thoughts running through my mind. I don’t pay attention to grammar or political correctness or sit in judgement of the words that spill out. I just write.

I’ve long since come through that particular difficult time.

But yesterday I came across what I had written back then. It’s so weird to read it. Some parts don’t even sound like me, to me, not anymore anyway. It sounds whiny, helpless, weak.

And I want to edit it so bad before sharing it!

But maybe there’s some value in the rawness of the words. Maybe it’s, I don’t know – human-ish. And maybe it will help someone else to not feel so alone in their thoughts when they are struggling; to not feel like they’ve lost their mind. So here it is, for what it’s worth. As it was written then.

I am trying not to be hasty

I am unsure of myself

I am a peacemaker—I want to make things alright

I need support in things I am not even aware of

I am angry

I am clinging to ideals

I am struggling to keep the fire burning, the passion in my heart

I second guess everything

I operate by instinct and am struggling with process

I feel undervalued

I feel steamrolled

I am tired

I am confused

I take my responsibility seriously

I am a collaborative person by nature

I believe in buy in

I am overwhelmed

I am scattered in thought

I am afraid to fail/disappoint

I operate at best when I feel inspired—I don’t feel inspired

I feel like the things that are important to me don’t matter

I feel incompetent

I feel like I’m expected to magically be at a certain level

I have important strengths

I love people

I believe in impassioning others

I believe in our people, that they can be all they can be

I believe in my team and honour their strengths

I give credit where credit is due

I look for the good

I believe I was called to this place

I believe that God has a purpose for me

I believe in building community and promoting tolerance

I believe in breaking myths and stereotypes

I believe in healthy balance of life

I believe that my staff want to do a good job

I need clear vision/direction

I need to know that my superiors believe in me

I learn best through mentorship and experience

I want to understand and be understood

I know who I am

I know who I want to be

I value mentors

I value protégées

I try not to be judgmental

I live in the grey/the in between

I am not black and white

I believe there are many I’s in team

I value disagreement/different perspectives

I am open

I value constructive criticism

I strive to be a better person

I strive to be a model in decency by the way I conduct myself

I work hard not to speak in anger, but to eventually speak

I believe in kindness

I am a persuader

I offer a unique perspective

I struggle with loneliness—at the same time I keep people at an arm’s length

I am direct

I value honesty

I want to make a difference

I want to leave a mark

I want to empower others to make a difference and leave a mark

I want to unite community

I am generous

I am loyal

I believe in complimenting people, edifying them, pointing out their strengths

I am optimistic

I am impatient

I strive to be a good listener

I strive to communicate in others’ language

I struggle with authority

I believe God places people in leadership and I trust that process

I think staff morale is important

I don’t like phonies

I strive to be true to myself—I don’t always succeed

I have a hard time letting people in

I am drawn to confident people

I am repelled by arrogant people

I promote understanding

I am interested in the whole person

I value friendship

I believe in people

I want to be recognized/acknowledged when I do good

I believe in investing in people

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Have you ever felt this? Had similar thoughts? What is your strategy when you need to find your way?

The Young and The Old

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“A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.” – Greek proverb

Each generation, at some point, bemoans the world they have inherited from the previous generation. With their whole lives ahead of them, they vow to leave a better world for the next generation.

Then life happens.

The drive to provide for, and protect, their immediate tribe becomes priority. They  block out the injustices in the rest of the world, not entirely, but where these issues intersect their own survival – they choose to protect themselves.

This is not necessarily a bad thing.

This is how we have survived for tens of thousands of years.

We’re not really wired to think about 10, 50 or 100 years from now.

But perhaps in our old age, with our lives mostly behind us, we are freed up to think about future generations.

Perhaps then we are willing to plant the tree whose shade we will never personally enjoy.

I wonder what we could learn and what plans we would conceive if we listened to the idealistic dreams of the young and tempered them with the life-time wisdom of the aged.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

It’s Ok If You Talk Behind My Back

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Be generous with kind words, especially about those who are absent. ~ Goethe

In order to ‘undo’ the effects of having said something hurtful, you need to say up to 10 encouraging things.

Even then, another hurtful comment down the road can bring a person right back to the pain of the original comment.

Am I saying we can never be critical or evaluate behaviours?  of course not! Constructive feedback is essential to growth.

We know that being hurt is unavoidable, especially for those of us who have raised children and want so badly for them to find their niche. Getting hurt is part of growing up. It happens.

And when it happens, isn’t it good to have a circle of folks who’ve got your back and want the best for you?

It’s also said that we shouldn’t talk about others behind their back.

I say go for it.

But say something nice!

Because you know what’s better than someone saying something nice to you?

Somebody saying something nice about you, to someone else, and it getting back to you!

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

The next time someone says something wonderful about someone you know – go tell them!

When It Comes Completely Undone

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200 words, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, Fear, growth, integrity, plan, Purpose

For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction. ~ Cynthia Occelli

My BFF hates to plan.

She says every time she makes a plan, something happens and her plan fails.

As recent as four years ago, I had been with the same organization for 20 years.

I’d grown up with the organization and held a variety of positions over the years. I loved it there!

I figured I would stay there until I retired. That was my plan.

Then it fell apart. Everything I knew, everything I believed was turned on its head. And it became painful for me to stay there, but I was too afraid to leave.

I was afraid because my identity and purpose were tied into my role. I thought leaving would strip me of who I was. I thought it would destroy my life.

When I finally left, it was devastating. I was broken.

Or that’s how it seemed.

Little did I know that it would be the beginning of new growth.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Love Your Life!

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Fall truly, madly and deeply in love with your life; all of it, even the shadows, and never stop falling! ~ unknown

Fall madly in love with your life…

I read this quote the other day and thought to myself, “I want to be that person.”

In many ways, I already am. I consider myself quite blessed.

I love my family, my friends, this beautiful country I live in and the wonderful opportunities I’ve had, and still have, to make a difference in this world.

But what about the shadows?

For the most part, I love them too…

…love might not be the right word. I’m grateful for them.

But there are times, when I feel like I’m not measuring up

I’m not doing enough; working hard enough.

There are times when I feel like I haven’t been treated fairly

I haven’t been heard or understood

I’m being judged harshly.

These are things that I must accept as part of my life as well. Things that I must embrace and hold dear. After all, I learn from them. I grow. And isn’t that what love is all about anyway?

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

You Know What’s Boring?

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200 words, Act, afraid, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, Fear, growth, learning, mistakes, perfection, striving, struggles

“Show us a man who never makes a mistake and we will show you a man who never makes anything.” ~ H. L. Wayland

“I love you mom.”

“You know what’s boring?”  I asked not hearing what my daughter said.

“When someone loves you back?”  she replied sarcastically.

“What?!”

“I just said I love you! And YOU asked about what’s boring.”

We burst out laughing. Both my daughter and I are slightly ADD, it’s not unusual for either one of us to get lost in our thoughts and not hear what the other said.

“So…what’s boring mom?”

“Perfection,”  I replied, still laughing, wiping the tears away.

~

Imagine a world where everything is perfect, a world without flaws, no touch-ups needed, no mistakes, no learning, no room to grow, no reason to strive for anything, no appreciation and bewildered joy when something beautiful happens.

And yet we are obsessed with doing everything right the first time. So we work toward perfection, afraid to implement until every i is dotted and every t is crossed before we act, often not acting at all. And then we teach our children to do the same.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~