Vulnerability and Truth

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200 words, anger, believe, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, emotions, Fear, growing up, happy, health, integrity, kindness, life, love, peace, strong, Truth, weak, worry

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

― Brené Brown

It’s scary to be vulnerable, isn’t it? It makes you feel weak, and even worse it makes you appear weak to others.

Suppose you don’t know what to do about a situation at work, if you ask for help, would it seem like you cannot do the job you were hired to do?

Suppose you are grieving the loss of someone close to you, or are worried about the circumstances a loved one has found themselves in, if you talk about it or cry, would it seem as though you are too emotional?

What if you’re afraid to go to the dentist, or a job interview, or know you need to admit you were wrong about something, if you hesitate or show any anxiety, would you look like a coward?

I grew up believing it did. Crying was weak. Smiling or laughing made you look foolish. The only acceptable emotion was anger, which somehow proved that you were strong.

It can take years to finally know that vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Humility, Gratitude and Service

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community, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Gratitude, growing up, happy, humanity, humility, Hump Day Chronicles, integrity, joy, kindness, laughter, life, living in the moment, love, Purpose, Relationships, service

I had the privilege of interviewing someone yesterday. Someone whose childhood was marked by abandonment, abuse and neglect. Someone who coped by making bad choices as a result.

His story was heartbreaking and made me question…

No, it made me wrestle with the whys. Why do people treat other people so horribly? And not just other adults, but children. Children who need a better foundational start at life.

But to be honest, that’s not the part of his story that stuck with me.

What stood out was his gratefulness. For every time someone showed him kindness. Every time someone reached out to help him. Went out of their way to give him hope. Saw him, loved him for who he was, took action to make a difference in his life — and did it all without judging him.

His story reminded me of all the people in my life who were pivotal, who were catalysts in changing my life for the better. Most did not even know to what extent they impacted me, inspired me, motivated me to find purpose in my life by serving others.

His story reminded me how important it is to reach out and help others just because I’ve been helped. To pay it forward, to never forget where I came from, to stay humble and grateful.

It’s what brings out the best in humanity. Don’t you think?

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Paradise

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This morning, with her, having coffee.

Johnny Cash, when asked his definition of paradise

Brilliant. So simple, yet so true. That’s what I thought when I first read this quote on my Twitter feed a few days ago.

Johnny Cash got it.

He understood.

It’s funny how paradise can turn out to be something completely different from what we thought it would be. That what we think we want is nowhere close to what we end up cherishing.

How often do we tell ourselves that when we get that promotion, when we finally can afford a house in a particular area, when who we are becomes a household name, we will have arrived? It will be like paradise.

We don’t always know what we treasure until it is lost to us. One only has to look back to realize that “those days we sat drinking coffee with whomever, while the rising sun’s rays spilled onto the kitchen table” were the best times of our lives.

It really is the people whom we love in life that make it feel as though we’re living in paradise or said more plainly – mean the very most to us.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

The Dance

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200 words, believe, compassion, courage, danger, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, enabling, Fear, growing up, happy, health, integrity, joy, kindness, living in the moment, love, mission, Purpose, sacrifice, world issues

How can we know the danger from the dance?

~ William Butler Yeats

How do you recognize the difference between what is good for you and bad for you? Does fun mean bad? Does safe mean good?

How do you balance security and risk? When is it best to tread carefully? When should you throw caution to the wind?

How do you evaluate your need and their need? When do you sacrifice yourself for the good of someone else? When do your sacrifices border enabling?

Living only for our own comfort is the worst kind of extravagance; and truly brings no satisfaction in the end. And a life of consistently compromising ourselves to accommodate the agendas of others only serves to annihilate us and the gifts we could share with the world.

Can we ever really know the danger from the dance? I don’t think we can. At least not until our decisions finally play themselves out. But a really good indicator that we’re making the right decision may be to question our motives for the choices we make.

Am I acting from a place of love or am I acting from a place of fear?

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

How Do You See The World?

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Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.

~ Wayne Dyer

IN MANY WAYS, WE LIVE WITH what we dream and create. Our lives reflect the energy we’ve been putting into them. If we believe people are always out to get us, that is the scenario we unwittingly create and see. If we believe that people are good at heart, that is what we tend to nurture in others and see.

Does that mean if we’ve always believed the world to be hostile, there’s no love in it? Or if we’ve always been loving, there is no hostility in the world? No. But that’s likely what we’re inclined to ‘notice’ more in our daily lives.

One might think that it’s only those who are safe and loved that can see a loving world, but in my experience, it’s often those who are vulnerable and in danger who see the love in the world.

Anne Frank, whose family faced mortal danger, took the time to jot down these words: “I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.”

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

How do you see the world?

How To Set The World On Fire

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Be who you were created to be and you will set the world on fire.

St. Catherine of Siena

There was a time when it was considered good and sensible to accept one’s lot in life with grace and gratitude. A time when if your father was a servant, it would follow that you would be a servant, and your son would be a servant.

These days, we tell ourselves that we can be whoever we want to be. Some folks achieve their dreams, many don’t.

I wonder have we set ourselves up for failure and ultimately, a life of misery because of it?

Just as with any stream of contemporary thought in any given time in human history, when we examine our ideals over a long period of time, we discover that the pendulum has swung from one extreme to another.

So I find myself thinking it best that the pendulum rest somewhere in the middle.

That it doesn’t have to be completely this way or that.

That purpose can be found in this way AND that.

That any person using their unique gifts can set their world on fire; no matter their station in life.

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

2016 Was A Bad Year???

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being in the now, being present, blessings, children, community, compassion, Diana Schwenk, family, friends, happy, health, Hump Day Chronicles, living in the moment, love, memories, New Year, parents, Purpose, Relationships

It seems to me that I was bombarded with the message of the title of this post continually leading up to 2017.

And I guess I understand why, given over 130 well-known people died in 2016, including Canada’s much-loved Leonard Cohen, who incidentally was born in the same year as my much loved father, and given our Albertan economy has taken a nose dive and many people employed  in oil and gas have lost their jobs. I’m sure you have similar or perhaps worse stories you could share from your corner of the world.

But I can’t help thinking that compared to others; we’re doing well here in Canada.

I mean considering the events in other parts of the world, I am fairly certain that ninety-something per cent of the world’s population would gladly change places with almost anyone in our country, knowing their lives would be greatly improved.

That’s why it’s important for me to be grateful for the blessings, large and small, that made up my daily experience in 2016.

On a personal level, these blessings include that more and more when I remember Dad, it brings a smile to my face instead of tears. That although my family is spread out, we’ve all worked harder to connect more often. That with much practice, I am learning to be more present in the moment; to give the person or situation in front of me my full attention – something I will continue to work on in 2017.

Professionally, I’ve seen that our work to engage the community has started to show evidence of authentic and mutually beneficial relationships. People are wanting to be, and becoming involved on many levels of our organization, making a huge difference in the lives of men and women who are in recovery, while hopefully also increasing their own sense of purpose and meaning.

I hope that you too, can find your blessings in the past year when you look back. Here are just a few of mine in the photo gallery below.

A selfie by my brother’s pool

Visit from Germany

Old stomping grounds

Visiting the house I grew up in

soccer!

A visit from down under

A Corpus Christi Christmas

YYC Rocks for Sobriety

Ride for Refuge

Remembering Josee

Christmas 2016

New Year’s Eve

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Wishing you and yours a blessed 2017 filled with moments you can treasure for a lifetime.

Diana xo

Duty

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I know of only one duty and that is to love.

Albert Camus

At first glance this Camus quote seems strange to me. I mean who would think that love or loving is a duty? Isn’t love a feeling that springs up over time? A luxury afforded those closest to us?

Perhaps it is true for romantic love, but even then, over the long haul such feelings of first attraction dissipate. Don’t they?

No, if anything, love is an act of one’s will. We must choose love over and over again. Often love is not even the easiest choice. Nor is it, or rather should it be, limited to only those who are closest to us. Most times the easy choice is to focus on our own interests, to turn our backs on those who need love the most.

I believe it’s fear that makes us put ourselves ahead of others. And in many ways fear has the opposite affect of love. Fear divides, where love binds us together. Fear says every man for himself where love says no man left behind. Fear builds walls to keep others out, where love builds bridges of inclusion.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Happiness

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200 words, Alberta, Calgary, Canada, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, First World Problems, Gratitude, happy, Life's like that, perspective, reality check, summer

Summer afternoon—summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.

― Henry James

For me too, Henry. For me too.

Feeling that warm sun on my skin.

Eating ice cream on a park bench.

Taking evening walks when it’s still light out.

Riding my brand new bike on Calgary’s many pathways.

Summer really makes me happy.

But here’s the thing. We haven’t really had much of a summer this year. It’s been all rain, rain, rain. I keep telling myself better summer days are coming. I mean yesterday wasn’t bad. It was sunny in the morning and it didn’t rain all day. I rode my bike and sat out on a patio with a good friend but…

…there’s not much time left for ‘better summer days.’ I’m seeing signs of fall. Wasps are acting all aggressive already, as they do in the fall and today I noticed leaves are turning and some are on the ground and I’m just not happy about it!

But I have a home, food in my stomach, good people who love me and I’m reminded gratitude is what REALLY leads to happiness.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

 

 

I’d Rather Feel Something

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caring, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Fear, growth, happy, health, Hump Day Chronicles, joy, kindness, laughter, learning, life, Life's like that, living in the moment, love, pain, sorrow, strong

I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all. A phrase I’ve uttered many times over the years. A phrase that’s elicited just as many reactions.

Before you write me off completely as a wingnut, hear me out. It’s not that I want to feel pain, or sorrow for that matter, or fear, or abandonment, or rejection, or betrayal. It’s just that given a choice between any of them or nothing, I’d rather not feel nothing.

I have felt nothing on a handful of occasions; when I’ve given up, or I’m tired, or I just don’t care anymore. Nothing matters, whether I ever eat or sleep or shower again, whether I live or die.

Feeling nothing, being numb feels like being dead inside and that scares me more than anything else.

The sting of pain and sorrow and fear, etc., reminds me I’m alive and experience has shown me that it will pass and if I pay attention and embrace it, I will be stronger for it, I will learn to prioritize better, I will have more joy in my life, I will grow in compassion.

I loved this poem when I came across it today. I hope it speaks to you as well.

Love Sorrow

Love sorrow. She is yours now, and you must take care of what has been given. Brush her hair, help her into her little coat, hold her hand, especially when crossing a street. For, think,

what if you should lose her? Then you would be sorrow yourself; her drawn face, her sleeplessness would be yours. Take care, touch her forehead that she feel herself not so

utterly alone. And smile, that she does not altogether forget the world before the lesson. Have patience in abundance. And do not ever lie or ever leave her even for a moment

by herself, which is to say, possibly, again, abandoned. She is strange, mute, difficult, sometimes unmanageable but, remember, she is a child. And amazing things can happen. And you may see,

as the two of you go walking together in the morning light, how little by little she relaxes; she looks about her; she begins to grow.

Mary Oliver

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~