Tags
answer, Diana Schwenk, Hokey Pokey, left foot, lost, question, whole self
“Wisdom from the Hokey Pokey. Put your whole self in” ~ a coffee shop sign
I can’t put my finger on it. But it’s there, at the tip of my tongue, or stuck in my throat like a lodged chip that I can’t spit out or swallow.
Something is off. Not off enough to be SCREAMING. Because then I would know what it is.
But it’s off. It’s unaligned.
Somehow I’ve betrayed myself or talked myself into believing or…
It nags at me, it pokes and jabs, trying to get my attention.
I can’t see it…
…or I don’t want to see it.
I can’t put my finger on it.
But it’s there, buried in my head
like a glimpse of a dream, my brain struggles to recount the details, my heart longs to find it again.
What have I lost – carelessly squandered?
It’s hard to find the answer when the question isn’t even clear.
I need to find a way
So I can live fully in the moment and
engage, relate and belong
I need to put my whole self in again.
Do you have your whole self in?
elizabeth2560 said:
Hi Diana. So sorry to hear that you were feeling a little bit under par. I have a funny story to cheer you up.
I know what you mean about over-analyzing at times. I do the same. And I also feel I have to stay the stoic me at all times, cannot buckle too much, have to stay strong. I get through the hard times or the fuzzy times times by finding some meaning, some reason, some philosophical tangent for what is happening to me and then i try and come up with some positive aspect. So lately when there has been a LOT of introspection, and a LOT of times when everything does not feel right, it has been difficult to wonder how I could reason myself out of the gloom. I began retreating into myself more and more. Then when I was in the middle of all that retreating and introspection stuff I began thinking of myself as being in a cocoon healing. I told myself that it was OK to shut myself away and to go into a cocoon-like state because I was in a process of healing. I knew that if I allowed myself time to heal and and to go through a metamorphosis then eventually i would emerge as a beautiful butterfly and I would fly. So suddenly as I thought that I began feeling positive again and I began to feel good about myself. I felt so positive in fact that when I saw my son yesterday I happened to mention it to him.
‘But Mum, what on earth do you want to become a butterfly for? They break out of their cocoons, fly around playing the mating game for a few days and then they die. You were meant for better things than that!’ Talk about true science taking the wind out of my metaphorical sails!!!
Anyway, I thought it was a good metaphor so for the moment I am sticking with it. I thought that I would share it with you, because I am sure after a bit of time to your self, you will work out what ever it is that was bothering you and you will start flying again ……. and for more than a few days I am sure!
Bye for now …. 🙂
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dianasschwenk said:
That’s a great story Elizabeth – thank you for sharing it with me. I like the butterfly analogy! The great thing about anologies is they don’t have to follow the facts right down to the letter. Have a wonderful Sunday. 🙂
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stuartart said:
Hi Diana, I’m not sure if we can ever put our whole selves in. Do we ever know our whole selves? I think that is part of life’s journey – discovering who we really are, and for most it takes a lifetime. Nice post. 🙂
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dianasschwenk said:
Hey Stuart, thanks for reading and your thought provoking question. I guess when I say put my whole self in I’m talking about being present in the moment or fully committed to something, etc….
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stuartart said:
On that level I agree 100% 🙂
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August McLaughlin said:
Fantastic title and post. 🙂 It can be easy to dip our toes in the water, but trying to stay safe or growing complacent doesn’t make dreams come true.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks August!
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mindfuldiary said:
Know the feeling. In my case I used to over-over-over analyze stuff like that, but now I just am WITH it instead of IN it. If I just leave it alone, do something else than analyze, I normally find the answer to the “ants” within short period of time (couple of days or a week). Gutfeeling too is helpful. Don’t know if you are fan of it. Really liked this post. Hope you figure it out. Let us know!
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dianasschwenk said:
Oh I almost totally operate on gut feeling and instinct! Where facts and data are needed, I find the data that supports my gut feeling. 😉
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Brigitte said:
Right there with you, D.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Brigitte!
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joannerambling said:
I think most of us can relate to this and have had moments when we have felt like this, yes even me……………
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks for stopping by and helping me to not feel alone in this. 🙂
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changeforbetterme said:
I get those feelings sometimes, but for me there is usually a reason behind it. Sometimes it takes a bit of time to figure it out. Just drives one a bit nuts in the mean time. Have fun today, put in on the back burner, and voila! you will probably find the ants in the pants are gone on vacation! 😉
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dianasschwenk said:
Sounds like a great plan – on it!
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newsofthetimes said:
Great post. I can really relate to this as well. I need some wandering, like I told Magnolia Beginnings to figure out what that feeling is about. Glad to know I am not alone.
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Magnolia Beginnings said:
Just suggested that to you in response on my blog, : )
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dianasschwenk said:
hey if this travelling includes Mojittos I’m in!
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Magnolia Beginnings said:
I’ll start chilling the glasses!
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dianasschwenk said:
Ok I liked you right off, but now I really LIKE you! 🙂
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Magnolia Beginnings said:
The feeling is mutual, my friend.
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newsofthetimes said:
🙂 My escape hatch!
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dianasschwenk said:
me too – saves me from thinking I’m going mad. 😉
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billgncs said:
some times quiet introspection helps.
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dianasschwenk said:
yes but I can only do so much of that – it’s like I have ants in my pants!! 😉
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billgncs said:
yikes! 🙂
the solution to ants would be removing the pants ( smile )
but from the computer guy perspective what changed recently. Find the delta ( change ) and analyze that.
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dianasschwenk said:
LOL! thanks Mr. Literal 🙂 (keeping my pants on) I get like this every now and then and one of my problems is over analyzing…so I do give it some thought and if I come up empty..I send up a quick prayer..who knows..maybe someone else is going through something rough…maybe even you. 🙂 Today I’m heading off to the mountains to spend some time with old friends who are visiting from abroad. Maybe our visiting/chatting will reveal the mytery.
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billgncs said:
you are in good hands! have a great day – always enjoy your posts….
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks! And I enjoy yours!
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billgncs said:
watch out for ants
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dianasschwenk said:
Watch out for ants ahahaha! You’re one of those people who need the last word aren’t you? Me too hehehe
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billgncs said:
🙂
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jensine said:
we can all learn from the hokey pokey love the sign!!!!
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dianasschwenk said:
Yes – I love the sign too – I want to hang it off my balcony!
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jensine said:
or opposite the toilet
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dianasschwenk said:
haha! That’s where my toilet paper roll is and I need that! 😉
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jensine said:
true , above it 🙂
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dianasschwenk said:
I don’t know, seems a strange place to be having deep and profound thoughts. 😉
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jensine said:
well men seem to spend hours there
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dianasschwenk said:
yes it’s good to be a woman!
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jensine said:
yes it is 🙂
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Louise G. said:
Diana, I too experience those moments of unnamed, unknown ‘nagging’. It’s as if, as you so beautiful describe it, there is a doubt within me, a place of knowing that I can’t see, and I keep niggling at it to figure it out. Usually, the only thing I can do is to breathe, meditate and let it pass through. Sometimes, I never do find ‘the cause’. And that’s okay.
I love the expression of ‘putting my whole self in’. Well done!
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dianasschwenk said:
I love the idea of ‘letting it pass through’! And you’re right, often I don’t ever know what it was. Thanks, as always, for your wise and encouraging words. 🙂
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jmgoyder said:
This is both powerful and mysterious – what is going on?
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dianasschwenk said:
a mystery to me too….just a nagging feeling…ever get those…ever sad or anxious and you don’t why?
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jmgoyder said:
Yes but usually for a reason. What’s haunting you do you think?
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dianasschwenk said:
I really don’t know. It’ll work out, I’ll figure it out, I’m sure…
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