In Those Times

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200 words, anger, caring, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, Fear, goodness, greater good, hatred, hope, humility, integrity, kindness, Life's like that, love, making a difference, peace, Purpose, Relationships, Truth, vulnerability, world issues

Remember:
Kindness is for all times in all situations – not just when it suits you.

-Audray Landrum

Those times in life when it seems that evil continually prevails, when greedy people keep getting, and vulnerable people keep losing.

Those times when those who don’t follow the rules keep winning, when those who prey on weaknesses are exulted, when those who feel entitled are granted whatever they wish, and those whose genuine efforts and unselfish motives are overlooked time after time.

Those times when I can’t bear to watch anymore, when my anger overtakes me, when for just once, for just one God damned time, my utter hatred of their actions, my complete disdain of them, my raging judgment of them makes me want to squash them, to shine a light on their selfishness, expose their nakedness to every single person, and humiliate them in front of the world.

In those times, although it’s excruciatingly difficult, I must dig deep inside of myself with humility, recognize those same tendencies in me and acknowledge my own shortcomings. I must search for the good in them, reach out with love and kindness and pray it makes a difference.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

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Somebody Cares

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alone, caring, children, courage, daughters, family, Fear, growing up, kids, kindness, love, memories, only human, passion, shame, strong, vulnerability, weak

The other day, my beautiful daughter, Michaela, posted the letter below on her Facebook page.

If you are in your tweens/teens and feel alone, please know that you are not the first to feel like you don’t quite measure up. Things will probably get better and the things you’re learning now are making you stronger.

If you are the parent of a tween/teen remind them every day how much you love them and not just because they’re you’re kid and you have to, but because he or she is a beautiful person worthy of love.

Dear 12-year-old Michaela,

The first thing I want you to know is no matter how alone you feel right now, no matter how much you think nobody cares, your mom is your best friend and she gets you.

Being chubby is not the end of the world. I’m sorry that your peers seem to think it is. Fat does not equal ugly. Being mean and cruel is ugly. You are beautiful.

I know something really bad just happened to you. I know you’re scared. I know you are ashamed. Talk about it. Tell people. Talk to a counsellor. It’s not your fault. I promise you it’s not your fault.

I know you think you’ll never be one of the pretty girls. You are a pretty girl. Nobody needs to tell you. You have a beautiful heart, and soul and your outsides are beautiful too. Stop comparing yourself to them. You’re nothing like them.

Not everyone is going to like you, and that is so far beyond ok. It’s nothing you did. I know how hard you’re trying but sometimes people just don’t click. Michaela, let it go.
The sooner you learn to love yourself and that you are worthy of love, the happier you will be. It’s hard, it’s so so hard. But it’s coming.

Don’t feel ashamed for talking to a therapist. They are there to help you and everyone should. Shit gets hard, Michaela. You’re not weak, you’re human. Don’t be afraid to move. It’s not going to be perfect but so much good will come out of it, it doesn’t even matter.

Tell people you love them. It’s not lame. If you feel it, say it. It will change people and people will love you for it. Don’t ever be afraid to love.

Be proud of who you are, Michaela. You’re good enough. In fact, you’re so far beyond just enough. You are kind, and generous and sweet. You have so much love to give. Give it. It will come back in waves.

Never stop playing sports. I know there will be a time where it feels like you don’t even have time to breathe, but when you get that time back, get back to it.

On the same note, never stop doing what you love. Don’t let anyone’s darkness steal your passion. Your passion and joy is amazing. It isn’t lame. Screw anyone who says it is.

12-year-old me, I love you. I’m so sorry it’s so hard right now. I’m sorry you feel alone but people love you. You have no idea how good it’s going to get so please don’t be afraid. You are so beautiful. You are worthy. You are amazing. I love you, girl. It’s going to be ok.

Thank you Michaela for allowing me to share your beautiful letter on my blog. I hope it will help someone else to not feel so alone and hopeless.

Love you kiddo,

MOM ❤

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

You Have More In Common With The World Than You Think

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200 words, common ground, community, connecting, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, differences, DNA, doing the right thing, family, Fear, in common, justice, life, love, Relationships, talents, vulnerability

We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.

William James (1842-1910)

The things that make people interesting are their unique talents. Like someone whose guitar playing moves us, or someone whose storytelling captivates us, whose art transports us, whose passion inspires us to change the course we’re on.

Sadly some things that make us different also divide us, like the colour of our skin, our level of education, our societal status, our culture, our belief system. Different takes us out of our comfort zone, makes us feel vulnerable. The unknown is frightening.

So we vilify those who aren’t like us. ‘They’ are less civilized, less intelligent than us. We create rules and laws that hurt them. We find ways to protect ourselves from them while overlooking the injustices we impose upon them.

The above quote is a good metaphor to clearly illustrate how we are all connected. What will it take for us to remember that although we are separate on the surface, we are very connected in the deep?

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES

I am so moved when the woman in the video learns she has a cousin in the room…

 

The Little House Sparrow

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courage, Diana Schwenk, dreams, Fear, God, kindness, living in the moment, love, My Creator, Purpose, trust, vulnerability

This morning, just before I awoke, I dreamt of a little House Sparrow.

She appears suddenly from behind the curtain in my living room. As I wonder how I might best get her back outside, she flies toward me and lands on my hand which is casually propped up by my elbow on the armrest of my chair.

Amazed and delighted by her courage, I chance a quick look at her, not wanting to scare her. Her little heart is pounding; she does not look at me. In an instant I know that she knows her only way out of this dilemma is me. I could be her savior or I could be the end of her. She has concluded, however, that at least she has a chance of getting back out if she just gathers up her courage and trusts me.

“Open the window,” I say.

And then I woke up.

It occurs to me now, as I reflect on this dream, how often I have found myself in a situation where I have had to let go of my fear and trust the one, who could both save me and destroy me, to get me out of my dilemma.

Wishing you all a happy Sunday filled with trust and gratitude!  ❤

Diana xo

How Do You See The World?

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200 words, alive, beauty, community, courage, creating, creativity, danger, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, dream, end of the world, Fear, generosity, happy, hope, kindness, life, living, living in the moment, love, Purpose, safe, vulnerability, world issues

Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.

~ Wayne Dyer

IN MANY WAYS, WE LIVE WITH what we dream and create. Our lives reflect the energy we’ve been putting into them. If we believe people are always out to get us, that is the scenario we unwittingly create and see. If we believe that people are good at heart, that is what we tend to nurture in others and see.

Does that mean if we’ve always believed the world to be hostile, there’s no love in it? Or if we’ve always been loving, there is no hostility in the world? No. But that’s likely what we’re inclined to ‘notice’ more in our daily lives.

One might think that it’s only those who are safe and loved that can see a loving world, but in my experience, it’s often those who are vulnerable and in danger who see the love in the world.

Anne Frank, whose family faced mortal danger, took the time to jot down these words: “I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.”

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

How do you see the world?

Vulnerability

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200 words, authentic, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, division, family, Fear, friends, honesty, integrity, Life's like that, love, Relationships, struggles, true to yourself, Truth, vulnerability

“The marks humans leave are too often scars.”

John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

I have this thing I want to share with you. I’m not particularly proud of it, but I’ve learned so much about myself because of it. But I’m afraid to tell you. I’m afraid you will leave me. I’m afraid you won’t want to be in my life anymore. I’m afraid you won’t look at me in the same way.

We’ve all felt this way at some point with someone, whether it was a lover, a parent, a child, a sibling, or a friend. But sharing whatever it was came with the threat of losing the other. And not sharing came with the threat of losing honesty between us and the laying of the first brick of a wall that will eventually divide us.

It’s no wonder we struggle with vulnerability. It can hurt us, and most probably will. After all the root of vulnerable comes from vulnera which is Latin for “to wound.”

Yet if I am not honest about who I am and you are not honest about who you are, do we even really have a relationship?

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Looks Like I’m Gonna be THAT Senior

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aging, bad eyesight, Diana Schwenk, embarassment, Fear, foolish, getting old, growing up, Hump Day Chronicles, laughing at yourself, laughter, Life's like that, vulnerability

When I was in my twenties, I’d see many a senior lady with bad makeup. You know, poorly applied foundation or mascara marks around the eye or bleeding lipstick or un-blended blush, and I’d think to myself – I NEVER want to do that.

As it turns out I’m pretty paranoid about makeup faux pas because of it. And to make matters worse, my eyesight (nearsightedness) has deteriorated over the years. It’s close to impossible to put makeup on whilst wearing glasses, so every morning after I’ve applied my makeup I put on my glasses and examine it carefully under a bright light.

So far, so good in that regard.

Here’s the thing. I’m starting to wish I had been concerned about doing up my pants in my twenties because apparently doing up my pants is not worth the effort it takes these days.

The whole disturbing pants thing actually reared its ugly head in my forties. I would come out of, or go into the ladies’ room at work while doing up or undoing my pants. On a good day, I would remember to shut the bathroom door before sitting on the toilet. On a really good day, I’d lock the door.

Now, in my fifties, it seems I’ve completely abandoned the need to do up my pants. I can’t tell you how many times I show up at work to find that my pants are in various stages of being undone. The other day I neglected not only to pull up my zipper, but I couldn’t be bothered with the button either. I did however, do up my belt.

Thank God for small mercies.

It seems I am going to be THAT senior. The one whose pants are never done up.

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

So what kind of senior are you gonna be?

Crossroads

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afraid, approval, confusion, courage, Diana Schwenk, doubts, Fear, growing up, growth, Hump Day Chronicles, insecure, life, memories, mission, passion, peace, Purpose, Relationships, struggles, vision, vulnerability, writing

Several years back, I was faced with a difficult choice. I was at a crossroad. I was so inside my own head, I could not find a way out. I could not see a clear path. I hurt so much, emotionally, spiritually and physically.

Sometimes, when things seem murky, when I can’t see clearly, when I am afraid – I write. I write as fast as I can to capture the thoughts running through my mind. I don’t pay attention to grammar or political correctness or sit in judgement of the words that spill out. I just write.

I’ve long since come through that particular difficult time.

But yesterday I came across what I had written back then. It’s so weird to read it. Some parts don’t even sound like me, to me, not anymore anyway. It sounds whiny, helpless, weak.

And I want to edit it so bad before sharing it!

But maybe there’s some value in the rawness of the words. Maybe it’s, I don’t know – human-ish. And maybe it will help someone else to not feel so alone in their thoughts when they are struggling; to not feel like they’ve lost their mind. So here it is, for what it’s worth. As it was written then.

I am trying not to be hasty

I am unsure of myself

I am a peacemaker—I want to make things alright

I need support in things I am not even aware of

I am angry

I am clinging to ideals

I am struggling to keep the fire burning, the passion in my heart

I second guess everything

I operate by instinct and am struggling with process

I feel undervalued

I feel steamrolled

I am tired

I am confused

I take my responsibility seriously

I am a collaborative person by nature

I believe in buy in

I am overwhelmed

I am scattered in thought

I am afraid to fail/disappoint

I operate at best when I feel inspired—I don’t feel inspired

I feel like the things that are important to me don’t matter

I feel incompetent

I feel like I’m expected to magically be at a certain level

I have important strengths

I love people

I believe in impassioning others

I believe in our people, that they can be all they can be

I believe in my team and honour their strengths

I give credit where credit is due

I look for the good

I believe I was called to this place

I believe that God has a purpose for me

I believe in building community and promoting tolerance

I believe in breaking myths and stereotypes

I believe in healthy balance of life

I believe that my staff want to do a good job

I need clear vision/direction

I need to know that my superiors believe in me

I learn best through mentorship and experience

I want to understand and be understood

I know who I am

I know who I want to be

I value mentors

I value protégées

I try not to be judgmental

I live in the grey/the in between

I am not black and white

I believe there are many I’s in team

I value disagreement/different perspectives

I am open

I value constructive criticism

I strive to be a better person

I strive to be a model in decency by the way I conduct myself

I work hard not to speak in anger, but to eventually speak

I believe in kindness

I am a persuader

I offer a unique perspective

I struggle with loneliness—at the same time I keep people at an arm’s length

I am direct

I value honesty

I want to make a difference

I want to leave a mark

I want to empower others to make a difference and leave a mark

I want to unite community

I am generous

I am loyal

I believe in complimenting people, edifying them, pointing out their strengths

I am optimistic

I am impatient

I strive to be a good listener

I strive to communicate in others’ language

I struggle with authority

I believe God places people in leadership and I trust that process

I think staff morale is important

I don’t like phonies

I strive to be true to myself—I don’t always succeed

I have a hard time letting people in

I am drawn to confident people

I am repelled by arrogant people

I promote understanding

I am interested in the whole person

I value friendship

I believe in people

I want to be recognized/acknowledged when I do good

I believe in investing in people

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Have you ever felt this? Had similar thoughts? What is your strategy when you need to find your way?

Life Has A Way Of Showing Us

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He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

Why do we struggle so to get up from our knees? Why do we resist vulnerability and humility so vehemently? What drives us to prove we are not ‘weak’. What are we so afraid of?

Why do we tell ourselves that we can plan it all out so that we’ll never have to face our fears?

That from this high and lofty place we’ve constructed, we can stand up to anything or anyone?

Life has a way of showing us that we are fooling no one but ourselves.

Life has a way of driving us down to our knees.

As counterintuitive as it seems and has hard as we may resist – it is on our knees when we are:

Broken.

Naked.

Vulnerable.

Humble.

Weak in our own eyes.

Facing and embracing the truth about ourselves.

That we are made strong,

that we learn to live, laugh and love 

and are able to stand up before anyone or anything.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Upon the recent death of our Dad, my brother Michael said, “Dad taught so much and he is still quietly teaching us.”

Related post: The Glory of Life

Prepare To Stop Ahead LARDA55

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200 words, believe, caring, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, growing up, integrity, kindness, laughter, life, powerful, protected, signs, Taking offense, vulnerability, words are powerful, world issues

“Some people take offense like it’s a limited time offer.” ~ Tim Fargo

I passed this sign the other day.

Don’t take it personally. I didn’t.

In fact, it made me laugh out loud. Then I took three steps back to photograph and tweet it out.

It got me thinking about all the times I take offense at the things people say.

And although words are powerful – and I’d like to think that I am careful about the words I choose – I can’t help thinking that we take far too much personally these days.

Do we step in too much to protect our children and others, thereby stripping them of their power to stand up for themselves?

Yes words have power, but I have power too – power to rise above the words used against me and what I believe to be true.

After all, who knows? Maybe that sign is a message from God to get my attention about something I need to stop. 😀

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

What do you think? Do we need to be more careful with words? Or should we learn to “shake it off?” Or is it a little of both?