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talktodiana

~ Igniting the power and passion in others…

talktodiana

Tag Archives: understanding

Perspective

24 Sunday Apr 2016

Posted by dianasschwenk in Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, In My Opinion

≈ 25 Comments

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200 words, building community, community, Community engagement, compassion, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, division, human behaviour, humanity, integrity, judging, justice, love, perception, perspective, understanding

lioness-protects-cubs

When man calls an animal “vicious”, he usually means that it will attempt to defend itself when he tries to kill it.

Unattributed

As we encroach more on and more on wild animals and their habitats, we inevitably find ourselves in situations were animals have mauled people. Often the offending “vicious” animal is relocated or destroyed.

It got me thinking how that also happens in our interactions with each other when we perceive a threat to our way of being.

When we see ourselves as superior because of race, religion, no religion, social status, political affiliation, income tax bracket, level of education, gender, or any other form of discrimination.

When we justify our attacks on those who are not like us because we perceive them as a threat to our culture and way of life.

When we oppress the weak, the poor and the sick in our efforts to gain even more wealth for ourselves.

Yet, we are surprised at their indignation and “viciousness” when they retaliate; when they fight back to defend themselves and their children.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Think about it. If attacked, wouldn’t you fight back? Wouldn’t you protect your family and way of life?

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The Young and The Old

31 Sunday Aug 2014

Posted by dianasschwenk in Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, In My Opinion

≈ 34 Comments

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200 words, building community, caring, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, dreams, empowering, gifts, growth, health, leadership, learning, life, mission, passion, Purpose, together, understanding, vision, wisdom, world issues, youth leadership

“A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.” – Greek proverb

untitled2Each generation, at some point, bemoans the world they have inherited from the previous generation. With their whole lives ahead of them, they vow to leave a better world for the next generation.

Then life happens.

The drive to provide for, and protect, their immediate tribe becomes priority. They  block out the injustices in the rest of the world, not entirely, but where these issues intersect their own survival – they choose to protect themselves.

This is not necessarily a bad thing.

This is how we have survived for tens of thousands of years.

We’re not really wired to think about 10, 50 or 100 years from now.

But perhaps in our old age, with our lives mostly behind us, we are freed up to think about future generations.

Perhaps then we are willing to plant the tree whose shade we will never personally enjoy.

I wonder what we could learn and what plans we would conceive if we listened to the idealistic dreams of the young and tempered them with the life-time wisdom of the aged.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

If we both always agree, is one of us not really necessary?

17 Sunday Aug 2014

Posted by dianasschwenk in Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, In My Opinion

≈ 42 Comments

Tags

200 words, common ground, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, differences, integrity, life, listen, love, open-minded, peace, perspective, point of view, respect, tolerance, understanding

Meet regularly with someone who holds vastly different views from you ~ unattributed

imagesOK.

SO THIS ISN’T THE NORM for me, because let’s face it – life is much easier when people agree with me.

And depending on whom I’m speaking with and what the topic is, often I will keep my mouth shut, for fear of hurting the other person’s feelings.

But even I have to admit that there’s value in varying views.

So it’s something that I engage in when the opportunity presents itself.

It’s also something I seek, when I’m stuck in a rut.

And I always learn something from it!

I try to keep the following principles in mind when talking with others who have varying views:

  1. Listen to the other person
  2. Try to see their point of view
  3. Give thoughtful answers to their questions
  4. Respectfully share my perspective
  5. Avoid personal attacks
  6. Discuss new possibilities with an open mind
  7. If we can’t achieve #6, agree to disagree

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Reaching common ground takes longer, but often it’s worth it. Can you think of a time when doing so produced better results?

And I'll try to see them from yours

And I’ll try to see them from yours

Beyond the dividing line

10 Sunday Aug 2014

Posted by dianasschwenk in Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, In My Opinion

≈ 32 Comments

Tags

200 words, accountability, Airdrie, Alberta, Calgary, collaboration, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, greater good, understanding, working together

Sunlight bursting through the storm

Sunlight bursting through the storm

Our mind is capable of passing beyond the dividing line we have drawn for it. Beyond the pairs of opposites of which the world consists, other, new insights begin. – Hermann Hesse

Above, my view on Friday.

Just before, it was 27c/81f degrees. And when the second storm cell came in it was 12c/54f.

It’s supposed to be hot and dry.

What’s with this sudden storm?

Oh but it was powerful.

And I couldn’t help being in awe of it.

And when the sun broke through it brought the rainbow.

That’s Alberta for you. The calendar tells you it’s summer,  but nature tells you different.

This got me thinking about negotiations where opposing sides each feel strongly about their position.

It creates a dividing line.

It can get ugly.

I’ve also witnessed the beauty that transpires when both sides start from where they agree.

The outcome often surpasses the hopes of both sides.

Things don’t always go our way.  

But if we can reach beyond the dividing line, 

just as rain and sunlight bring the promise of the rainbow,

mutual understanding may bring new insights…

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

 

 

How Do You Feel About It?

29 Sunday Jun 2014

Posted by dianasschwenk in Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, In My Opinion

≈ 67 Comments

Tags

200 words, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, gifts, giving, good intentions, helpful, open-minded, perspective, tolerance, understanding

Cat Food Is For People – Seth Godin

photo found at www.morenormalthannot.com

photo found at http://www.morenormalthannot.com

The above quote was the title of a recent post written by Godin.

He wrote that even the gifts we give others are at least as much about how they make us feel to give them, as they are about how the recipient of the gift feels.

He concluded by saying if cat food was really for cats it would come in mouse flavor.

Truth is, most of us wouldn’t buy mouse-meat cat food because it sounds disgusting, and since kitty doesn’t buy her own food, pet foods contain ingredients that appeal to us.

Seth’s post got me thinking how this phenomenon occurs in other ways.

Like when we view other cultures and their customs for example, we interpret them according to our own beliefs.

Often, especially when a certain custom offends our own sensibility, we want to enlighten our fellow humans with our version of what is right.

If you think about it, it’s kind of arrogant.

When we position our beliefs as superior over another’s beliefs, we lessen our ability to understand and care about them.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Poking the Bear

09 Sunday Mar 2014

Posted by dianasschwenk in Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, In My Opinion

≈ 48 Comments

Tags

200 words, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, Fear, growing up, life, Purpose, Taking risks, understanding

If you want truly to understand something, try to change it. ~ Kurt Lewin

Chulture-change-is-a-bear

You know how sometimes, you read something and all of a sudden it makes total sense?

That’s what happened when I read this quote yesterday.

It hit me in the face like a two-by-four!

It came at me like an anvil dropping on my head!

Of course! This makes so much sense!

Doesn’t science employ this technique by introducing a foreign variable when trying to understand how something ticks? Haven’t we come to understand many things so much better because of this?

But it can be like poking a bear!

Have you ever tried suggesting a new idea to a group that’s been doing things the same way forever? Did it result in blank faces looking back at you? Did it give rise to fierce opposition? If they bought the idea, did it pay off?

When you poke the bear, you’re taking a risk. You can’t really be sure how it will turn out.

Is poking the bear worth it?

Sure, it can be downright frightening.

But it can also lead to better understanding.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Do you poke the bear?

Love Your Life!

09 Sunday Feb 2014

Posted by dianasschwenk in Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, In My Opinion

≈ 41 Comments

Tags

200 words, blessed, caring, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, family, friends, grateful, growth, hard work, judging, learning, life, love, making a difference, opportunities, passion, Purpose, shadows, understanding

Fall truly, madly and deeply in love with your life; all of it, even the shadows, and never stop falling! ~ unknown

Fall madly in love with your life...

Fall madly in love with your life…

I read this quote the other day and thought to myself, “I want to be that person.”

In many ways, I already am. I consider myself quite blessed.

I love my family, my friends, this beautiful country I live in and the wonderful opportunities I’ve had, and still have, to make a difference in this world.

But what about the shadows?

For the most part, I love them too…

…love might not be the right word. I’m grateful for them.

But there are times, when I feel like I’m not measuring up

I’m not doing enough; working hard enough.

There are times when I feel like I haven’t been treated fairly

I haven’t been heard or understood

I’m being judged harshly.

These are things that I must accept as part of my life as well. Things that I must embrace and hold dear. After all, I learn from them. I grow. And isn’t that what love is all about anyway?

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Moving People

19 Sunday Jan 2014

Posted by dianasschwenk in Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, In My Opinion

≈ 41 Comments

Tags

200 words, caring, community, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, integrity, kindness, listen, mission, understanding

Moving people begins when you understand them, not when they understand you. ~ Dan Rockwell

Photo credit: yag-u.com

Photo credit: yag-u.com

Sometimes people I care about, say and do things that shock me.

Sometimes it even feels like they’re working against me or trying to discourage me.

Often my automatic response is to take a defensive posture.

I want to ‘help them understand’  where their views and actions fall short.

I consider it my duty to set them on the right path and I blast them with my point of view.

I wonder how many times I have made others feel like the woman in the picture above.

Maybe you do this too. I know that some organizations do this as well.

For some reason we think that if we keep on stating our case and justifying why we’re doing what we’re doing, others will just fall in line.

Think about it though. How often does that work when it happens to you?

If I can understand another’s perspective, then together we can find common ground. And from that place we are one step closer to working together.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

What do you think?

Understanding what motivates others; is it important?

19 Wednesday Jun 2013

Posted by dianasschwenk in Hump Day Chronicles, In My Opinion, My Stories

≈ 41 Comments

Tags

actions, behaviour, building community, communication, community, Diana Schwenk, Hump Day Chronicles, motivation, perspective, projecting onto others, Relationships, understanding

On Sunday, I wrote this post about kindness and just in case you don’t want to go back and read it, let me tell you the gist of it.

I wrote about a man who can be like a bull in a china shop when pursuing his goals. And then, as if out of left field, can commit a random act of kindness by plugging ‘almost expired’  parking meters as he walks down the street.

Then along comes mrsfringe and comments, “Love your story, but I’d guess filling the meters has much to do with a sense of just/unjust.”  And by golly, I believe she’s right! Because I worked with him for many years, I know this man had worked his way to the top because he believed that he could make more of an impact on this world in a systemic way than he could by dealing with individuals on the floor. So what if you have to bowl over a few folks on the way if your end goal will create a better system, right?

Change the system and in the long-run you change the situation for all individuals.expired_parking_meter_small

Change the system and you create justice and equality.

And if you can’t change the system, buck the system by plugging almost expired, money-sucking, ‘when you know your meeting is an hour and they only let you pay for 30 minutes max and are counting on you to forget to come back and pay more’ therefore enabling them to issue a parking ticket, stupid parking meters.

That’ll teach the powers that be!

Ok so why does it make a difference whether he plugged the meters out of kindness or out of a sense of justice?

Whatever the reason, the people who were parked there were spared the cost of a $30 parking ticket and that’s all that mattered to them.

So why is understanding someone’s motivation important?

So glad you asked!

Understanding why someone does what they do is a great place to start in any relationship or collaboration. And sometimes, it can even relieve the stress that you are feeling from the actions of someone else.

For example, a few years back an organization that I worked for hired a company to help us understand our individual core personality traits and also create job personality profiles for our vacant positions. With this tool we would be able to hire people who were well-suited for specific jobs. The premise being that if you hire the right person the first time the organization wins by saving costs. And the employee wins because they are well-equipped to do the job and have a better chance of excelling.

All the leadership in our organization took the test and the owner of the consulting company (lets call him Bill)  reviewed the results with us as a group. I won’t get into how amazing and revealing these results were but suffice it to say it was a remarkable and eye-opening experience. When my profile was projected onto the wall for all to see, Bill pointed at me and said…

“You’re always asking questions! And when people answer them you ask more questions.

You are full of ideas and you are constantly voicing them.

Have you ever stopped to think about how that makes your staff feel?

I’ll tell you how they’re feeling…they’re thinking they have to scramble and implement all those ideas and there’s not enough time in the day to do that!”questions

He was right of course.

They thought I was questioning their work and time management.

They thought I was inferring that they weren’t measuring up to some impossible ideal.

They thought this because the only way they could ever imagine asking so many questions themselves is if they were concerned about how someone else was doing their job.

The reason I ask lots of questions is because I’m curious to know what my team thinks. I ask lots of questions because I want to understand things and I want to empower others to take ownership. And yes I have a lot of ideas that I toss out there. I do it for feedback – I honestly want to know if people think my ideas have merit. And if they do have merit I want to know if they think we have the resources to implement them. And because that’s how I think, I just presumed everyone would think that way and know that that was what I was doing.

So is knowing someone’s motivation for what they do important?

I think so. Sure those who benefited from their meters being topped up didn’t care about what motivated this man to do it. But understanding what motivates him was valuable to me because I worked with him day-in and day-out.

Knowing how my questions affect others is also helpful to me. Now when I am trying to understand a situation or want to throw ideas out into a room full of people, I start with a preamble that makes my motivation clear to those present.

Have you ever misjudged someone based on your perspective of what would motivate you to do what they are doing?

Or have you ever been misjudged based on someone else’s perspective of what would motivate them to do what you are doing?

~ THE HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

What is your perspective!

Talk to Diana


"I RELATE WITH, PROMOTE AND SPEAK COMMUNITY WHEREVER I AM..."

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