Dear President Obama

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President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama greet Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and Sophie Grégoire Trudeau at the North Portico of the White House in Washington, Thursday, March 10, 2016, for a state dinner. (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)

Just a quick note to thank you and Michelle for being great examples of what leadership should look like.

I want to thank you both for all you did, and tried to do to make the United States and the world a more tolerant and safe and inclusive place. For ensuring that more folks had access to health care, for bringing hope to whole communities that had no hope before, for making tough choices, and patiently with humility, building solid relationships on the world stage.  And most of all, for doing it with the poise, dignity, passion, integrity, compassion and sense of humour that should be the norm for any person who occupies a position of power.

No single person is perfect, or always gets everything right, but I believe that you did the best you could within the choices you had, and I for one, felt that I could breathe a little easier, even from way over here in Canada.

I wish you and Michelle all the very best and I know that you will continue to make a significant mark in whatever challenge you take on next.

Well done and thanks again,

Diana Schwenk, Alberta, Canada

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

How Boring Would It Be?

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“Differences are not intended to separate, to alienate. We are different precisely in order to realise our need of one another”-Desmond Tutu

How boring would it be

if I was like you and you were like me?

If we all looked the same, thought the same, and liked all the same things?

Because, I love how you challenge me and what I believe, even when it makes me angry.

I love what I learn when I struggle with you, even when it makes me cry.

I love what you teach me, about myself and the world, when you share your thoughts and life experiences.

When I am weak, you are strong and when you are weak, I am strong.

We need each other.

If you really think about it, closed-mindedness and conformity are way more threatening than diversity.

How boring would it be if I was like you and you were like me?

How would we grow?

How would we even know what we’re missing?

How would we learn about forgiveness?

Acceptance?

Compassion?

Mercy?

Wisdom?

Courage?

Kindness?

Love?

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Why would we even want, or need, to spend one single moment with each other?

If we both always agree, is one of us not really necessary?

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Meet regularly with someone who holds vastly different views from you ~ unattributed

OK.

SO THIS ISN’T THE NORM for me, because let’s face it – life is much easier when people agree with me.

And depending on whom I’m speaking with and what the topic is, often I will keep my mouth shut, for fear of hurting the other person’s feelings.

But even I have to admit that there’s value in varying views.

So it’s something that I engage in when the opportunity presents itself.

It’s also something I seek, when I’m stuck in a rut.

And I always learn something from it!

I try to keep the following principles in mind when talking with others who have varying views:

1. Listen to the other person
2. Try to see their point of view
3. Give thoughtful answers to their questions
4. Respectfully share my perspective
5. Avoid personal attacks
6. Discuss new possibilities with an open mind
7. If we can’t achieve #6, agree to disagree

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Reaching common ground takes longer, but often it’s worth it. Can you think of a time when doing so produced better results?

And I’ll try to see them from yours

How Do You Feel About It?

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Cat Food Is For People – Seth Godin

photo found at http://www.morenormalthannot.com

The above quote was the title of a recent post written by Godin.

He wrote that even the gifts we give others are at least as much about how they make us feel to give them, as they are about how the recipient of the gift feels.

He concluded by saying if cat food was really for cats it would come in mouse flavor.

Truth is, most of us wouldn’t buy mouse-meat cat food because it sounds disgusting, and since kitty doesn’t buy her own food, pet foods contain ingredients that appeal to us.

Seth’s post got me thinking how this phenomenon occurs in other ways.

Like when we view other cultures and their customs for example, we interpret them according to our own beliefs.

Often, especially when a certain custom offends our own sensibility, we want to enlighten our fellow humans with our version of what is right.

If you think about it, it’s kind of arrogant.

When we position our beliefs as superior over another’s beliefs, we lessen our ability to understand and care about them.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Crotchety Old Fart

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They say we can’t choose the face we’re born with but we can choose the face we grow old with.

My friend Helga and I have lots of discussions about the things that are really important in life.

I have this theory that the older we get, the more intense our quirks become.

Say for instance, a young person is a neat freak. Everything has its place and every place has its things.

As this person ages they become almost neurotic about neatness.

Helga feels that the older we get the less tolerant we become and she points back to when we first met to illustrate this.

I hope she’s wrong but more on that in a moment.

~

I’ve known Helga for 27 years. We met at Pinantan Lake, just outside Kamloops, British Columbia.

Pinantan is a small community, and when I lived there in the 80’s it had a population of about 300 folks, including chickens and other livestock.

Just the other day we were talking about how easy-going we were in our early 20’s.

If one of us was cooking dinner when the other came over (unannounced) we would just set another place at the table.

Or if one wasn’t awake yet when we went to the other’s place, the visiting one would just put on a pot of coffee, sit right down at the table and wait for the other to wake up.

That’s right; we didn’t lock our doors back then!

This is the house I lived in and rented for $150 per month.

If a neighbour needed help, we would just drop everything and head over there.

(Or at the very least volunteer our significant other)

We didn’t pay much attention to how others dressed, kept their homes, raised their children or anything else.

We just accepted people for who they were.

We had a certain laissez-faire attitude about life.

There wasn’t a lot of money in our community but we had each other and we shared our resources.

I had laying hens, someone else had a milking cow, we went out in groups to get firewood for the winter, we baked bread and cooked all our meals and made all our baked goods from scratch. And oh so many fun potlucks!

They were simpler times and we were happy.

I’m not sure how I would feel about stumbling out of my bedroom to find someone waiting for me in my apartment now – even with coffee!

What I do know is that I remember our days there with great fondness. People took each other at face value and we didn’t waste a moment worrying about whether someone was playing us or not.

~

For the last decade or so, my heart has been longing for that kind of simplicity again. I still look for the good in people but I’ve been a little slower to trust, a tad sceptical at times and downright inhospitable at other times.

I hope my theory is true. I hope that who I was at heart when I was younger will intensify as I get older. Because I would rather trust people and be burned than be suspicious of every person I encounter.

But maybe the truth is simpler. Maybe I just have to choose to be a certain way.

Maybe theories are just that – theories.

~ THE HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

I want to grow old with a kind face, with eyes that are crinkled with laugh lines and smile lines deeply carved around my mouth.

I don’t want to be a crotchety old fart.

How about you?

What if

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I know I’m not the first person to ponder what if and I probably won’t be the last.

Even as a child, I would question the way we humans treated each other while at the same time I know full well that, at times, I’ve treated people differently based solely on their appearance or status.

Why do I do that?

I clearly remember wishing that humans would intentionally start marrying people outside of their race and having children. My child-mind wondered how many generations it would take before we all looked alike, spoke the same language and adopted similar values and beliefs.

I still find myself yearning, praying and wishing because isn’t every person worthy?

Isn’t every life sacred?

Realistically, I know that there’s probably no chance we will all become one people, with one language and value system but…

~

What if it didn’t matter if you were black, white, red or yellow?

What if it didn’t matter if you were politically left, right, or in the middle?

What if it didn’t matter if you were educated, uneducated, employed or unemployed?

What if it didn’t matter if you lived in a mansion, an apartment, a hut or on the streets?

What if it didn’t matter if you were rich, poor, or somewhere in between?

What if it didn’t matter if you were Christian, Jewish, Muslim or something else?

What if it didn’t matter if you were straight, gay, bisexual or trapped in the wrong gender?

What if it didn’t matter if you were fat, skinny, short, or tall?

What if it didn’t matter if you were physically ill, mentally ill, or healthy?

What if it didn’t matter if you were young, middle-aged or ancient?

What if it didn’t matter if you were happy, sad, alone or overwhelmed in a crowd?

What if your status wasn’t determined by birth, religion, gender, or economics?

What if it didn’t matter if your hair was blond, brown, red, black or purple?

If your eyes were blue, green, brown or black?

If you spoke Hebrew, Arabic, English, French, Spanish, Chinese, Polish, German, Russian, or Pig Latin?

If you were Asian, African, European, North American, Hispanic, or Middle Eastern?

If you had a high or low IQ, EQ or cholesterol level?

What if you understood that at your core…

that in essence we are all spiritual beings

who just happen to have a variety of different outer shells and experiences?

What if all that mattered was that you had good character and integrity…

that you strove to find beauty and goodness and meaning in others and in all that you do?

that you were:

Kind to others

Thoughtful

Generous to a fault

Courageous

Tolerant

Loving

Encouraging

Helpful

Hospitable

Compassionate

Truthful

Courteous

Passionate

Hopeful

I want to make a conscious effort to live these values in my life. I know I won’t always be successful, there will be days when I fall short but if I can become aware of the times I don’t quite measure up, I can correct myself and begin again.

What do you think? What are some of the things you could do differently?

What if?

Related articles

Every now and then I look at the links WordPress recommends. I was quite moved by the link below. If you have a moment, give it a read. It really is quite powerful.

• What Will Matter – Michael Josephson (tersiaburger.com)