I think we owe a whole lot of gratitude to whoever invented the wheel.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of fire, but no one really invented fire.
Some Neanderthal somewhere, back in the day, was probably caught in a grass fire or saw an old dead tree get struck by lightning and used one of the burning sticks to start the very first campfire. It was just dumb luck – a total fluke!
I do wonder how he brought it home though. Did he make a trail of campfires all the way back to the cave?
And once the fire was burning at the cave, did the clan hire a Keep-the-Fire-Burning technician? And what happened to the KTFB technician if he let the fire go out?
Did it result in banishment? Would he have to scour the land for another lightning storm or grass fire?
Or did he figure out how to start a fire with sticks? Discover flint? Or simply pick up a Bic at the 7-11 on the way to the yearly clan gathering?
And once fires really caught on (Did you catch that clever pun?), did clan women complain that their men were watching fire for hours on end instead of hunting for food?
Did it cause a bunch of collisions because teenagers were running around all willy-nilly with burning sticks, mesmerized by the fire and not paying attention to where they were going?
And once they figured out smoke signals, did they become fat and lazy because they no longer ran to the next cave to deliver messages in person?
Is that when the anti-social trend actually started and face-to-face conversation began its decline?
Anyway, I digress.
I want to talk about the GENIUS who invented the wheel. Although fire brought creature comforts like S’mores to the clan, it did not open up a world of possibilities like the wheel did.
Up until the invention of the wheel, travel took a lot longer, demanded a lot more physical strength and if you had to move a lot of stuff, multiple trips were necessary.
Sure the taming of horses and dogs and getting them to drag around a travois was helpful, but still not as magnificent as the wheel.
Yes, the invention of the wheel put our ancestors in motion. The Age of Serious Travel began that day. And unlike the day before, one could now bring more than just their carry-on luggage.
Wagons with two wheels could carry gifts for the tens of new people they would meet on their journey. Travellers could bring all their clothes and save themselves the trouble of finding a river to wash their laundry along the way. Heck they could pretty much bring any little thing their hearts desired!
Yes life was good now, and all thanks to the genius who invented the wheel!
Unlike the so-called Fire Inventor, who we previously established a mere opportunist at best, the Wheel Inventor did not have the benefit of a natural disaster that resulted in wheels dropping into his lap. So how, exactly, did the Wheel Inventor come up with the wheel?
Did it come to him/her in a prophetic dream or vision of a boulder rolling down the side of a mountain and as it did, pieces chipped off and formed a wheel?
Or did it occur to the pimply teenager who collided into clan members while watching his stupid burning stick, as he scrambled to remain balanced like a beachcomber on the rolling beer barrel he was delivering to the ‘successful hunting party’ celebration in the field by the lake?
I guess we’ll never know for sure, but one thing is certain, I think we owe a whole lot of gratitude to whoever invented the wheel!
~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~
The wheel is the best thing since sliced bread.
But that’s just my opinion, what do you wheely think?