The Story of Your Life

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beauty, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, grief, growing up, growth, health, journey, kindness, loss, pain, strong, struggles, time, wounded

That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.

Friedrich Nietzsche

I recently read that when you want to bulk up your muscles by working out, it tears your muscle and creates a scar. That scar is what makes your muscle bulkier and makes you stronger.

Reading that reminded me of the above quote.

Every scar. Every physical, emotional and spiritual wound. Every stretch mark you endure, tells the story of your life. It shows what you have endured and survived, and makes you stronger.

Our scars make us stronger. They make us more beautiful, more uniquely us, and as an extra bonus, more compassionate and kind toward others. They tell the story of our life.

But just as with any workout routine, you first decide to be healthier, you embrace the current discomfort, you work through the pain, you rest when you need to, and then do it again. it takes time to see the results.

Consider this the next time you feel broken.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

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The One in the Arena

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achievement, Act, courage, critic, daring, defeat, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, failure, Fear, life, pain, pride, Purpose, striving, strong, struggles, success, victory, weak, worthy cause

There are many men who feel a kind of twister pride in cynicism; there are many who confine themselves to criticism of the way others do what they themselves dare not even attempt. There is no more unhealthy being, no man less worthy of respect, than he who either really holds, or feigns to hold, an attitude of sneering disbelief toward all that is great and lofty, whether in achievement or in that noble effort which, even if it fails, comes to second achievement. A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticize work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life’s realities – all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness. They mark the men unfit to bear their part painfully in the stern strife of living, who seek, in the affection of contempt for the achievements of others, to hide from others and from themselves in their own weakness. The role is easy; there is none easier, save only the role of the man who sneers alike at both criticism and performance. “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Teddy Roosevelt

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Unbecoming

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200 words, authentic, conform, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, Happiness, journey, judging, life, love, struggles, talents, true to yourself

Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.

If you’ve ever tried to please everyone at the same time, you probably know firsthand how utterly impossible it is to do so.

If you’ve ever tried to toe the company line when you didn’t necessarily agree with it, you are probably familiar with that unsettling feeling you get in your stomach when you are not being true to yourself.

Yet we spend a lot of our lives trying to squeeze ourselves into acceptable societal and familial moulds because it makes life easier, things just go more smoothly if we conform to the way things are.

We wonder what is wrong with us; that we don’t see things in the same way as the majority and we struggle to become who we think we are meant to be.

Are we actually struggling against ourselves?

Fortunately for me, the older I get, the less insecure I am about living my life authentically.

Maybe our journey is more about finally unbecoming everything we are not.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Vulnerability

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“The marks humans leave are too often scars.”

John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

I have this thing I want to share with you. I’m not particularly proud of it, but I’ve learned so much about myself because of it. But I’m afraid to tell you. I’m afraid you will leave me. I’m afraid you won’t want to be in my life anymore. I’m afraid you won’t look at me in the same way.

We’ve all felt this way at some point with someone, whether it was a lover, a parent, a child, a sibling, or a friend. But sharing whatever it was came with the threat of losing the other. And not sharing came with the threat of losing honesty between us and the laying of the first brick of a wall that will eventually divide us.

It’s no wonder we struggle with vulnerability. It can hurt us, and most probably will. After all the root of vulnerable comes from vulnera which is Latin for “to wound.”

Yet if I am not honest about who I am and you are not honest about who you are, do we even really have a relationship?

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Beautiful Struggle

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200 words, Alberta, beauty, believe, Calgary, community, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, life, looking back, memories, Southern Alberta Floods 2013, struggles

One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.

Sigmund Freud

On June 21, 2013, I woke up and looked out the window to see what kind of day was greeting me. Finally, after many days of rain, the sun was shining. I had no idea at the time, but later in the day I would write:

Calgary and surrounding communities are experiencing flooding that exceeds the flood of 2005. The TransCanada Highway is closed between Canmore and Banff and Canmore’s Cougar’s Creek has become a raging river. High River south of Calgary is completely under water. Other surrounding areas are also affected with devastating floods.

In Calgary, many of the communities around my neighbourhood have been put under mandatory evacuation. So far my community is still fine. The largest homeless shelter in Canada is being evacuated as I write. A thousand Drop In residents are walking over the bridge to the Bridgeland community.

I had never experienced a natural disaster until that day. I had also never experienced the coming together of people to help others on such a massive scale either. It was humanity at its best. It was beautiful.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Crossroads

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afraid, approval, confusion, courage, Diana Schwenk, doubts, Fear, growing up, growth, Hump Day Chronicles, insecure, life, memories, mission, passion, peace, Purpose, Relationships, struggles, vision, vulnerability, writing

Several years back, I was faced with a difficult choice. I was at a crossroad. I was so inside my own head, I could not find a way out. I could not see a clear path. I hurt so much, emotionally, spiritually and physically.

Sometimes, when things seem murky, when I can’t see clearly, when I am afraid – I write. I write as fast as I can to capture the thoughts running through my mind. I don’t pay attention to grammar or political correctness or sit in judgement of the words that spill out. I just write.

I’ve long since come through that particular difficult time.

But yesterday I came across what I had written back then. It’s so weird to read it. Some parts don’t even sound like me, to me, not anymore anyway. It sounds whiny, helpless, weak.

And I want to edit it so bad before sharing it!

But maybe there’s some value in the rawness of the words. Maybe it’s, I don’t know – human-ish. And maybe it will help someone else to not feel so alone in their thoughts when they are struggling; to not feel like they’ve lost their mind. So here it is, for what it’s worth. As it was written then.

I am trying not to be hasty

I am unsure of myself

I am a peacemaker—I want to make things alright

I need support in things I am not even aware of

I am angry

I am clinging to ideals

I am struggling to keep the fire burning, the passion in my heart

I second guess everything

I operate by instinct and am struggling with process

I feel undervalued

I feel steamrolled

I am tired

I am confused

I take my responsibility seriously

I am a collaborative person by nature

I believe in buy in

I am overwhelmed

I am scattered in thought

I am afraid to fail/disappoint

I operate at best when I feel inspired—I don’t feel inspired

I feel like the things that are important to me don’t matter

I feel incompetent

I feel like I’m expected to magically be at a certain level

I have important strengths

I love people

I believe in impassioning others

I believe in our people, that they can be all they can be

I believe in my team and honour their strengths

I give credit where credit is due

I look for the good

I believe I was called to this place

I believe that God has a purpose for me

I believe in building community and promoting tolerance

I believe in breaking myths and stereotypes

I believe in healthy balance of life

I believe that my staff want to do a good job

I need clear vision/direction

I need to know that my superiors believe in me

I learn best through mentorship and experience

I want to understand and be understood

I know who I am

I know who I want to be

I value mentors

I value protégées

I try not to be judgmental

I live in the grey/the in between

I am not black and white

I believe there are many I’s in team

I value disagreement/different perspectives

I am open

I value constructive criticism

I strive to be a better person

I strive to be a model in decency by the way I conduct myself

I work hard not to speak in anger, but to eventually speak

I believe in kindness

I am a persuader

I offer a unique perspective

I struggle with loneliness—at the same time I keep people at an arm’s length

I am direct

I value honesty

I want to make a difference

I want to leave a mark

I want to empower others to make a difference and leave a mark

I want to unite community

I am generous

I am loyal

I believe in complimenting people, edifying them, pointing out their strengths

I am optimistic

I am impatient

I strive to be a good listener

I strive to communicate in others’ language

I struggle with authority

I believe God places people in leadership and I trust that process

I think staff morale is important

I don’t like phonies

I strive to be true to myself—I don’t always succeed

I have a hard time letting people in

I am drawn to confident people

I am repelled by arrogant people

I promote understanding

I am interested in the whole person

I value friendship

I believe in people

I want to be recognized/acknowledged when I do good

I believe in investing in people

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Have you ever felt this? Had similar thoughts? What is your strategy when you need to find your way?

Life Has A Way Of Showing Us

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He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

Why do we struggle so to get up from our knees? Why do we resist vulnerability and humility so vehemently? What drives us to prove we are not ‘weak’. What are we so afraid of?

Why do we tell ourselves that we can plan it all out so that we’ll never have to face our fears?

That from this high and lofty place we’ve constructed, we can stand up to anything or anyone?

Life has a way of showing us that we are fooling no one but ourselves.

Life has a way of driving us down to our knees.

As counterintuitive as it seems and has hard as we may resist – it is on our knees when we are:

Broken.

Naked.

Vulnerable.

Humble.

Weak in our own eyes.

Facing and embracing the truth about ourselves.

That we are made strong,

that we learn to live, laugh and love 

and are able to stand up before anyone or anything.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Upon the recent death of our Dad, my brother Michael said, “Dad taught so much and he is still quietly teaching us.”

Related post: The Glory of Life

Do good, especially when you don’t want to

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200 words, caring, community, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, generosity, good times, growing up, happy, hard times, integrity, joy, kindness, laughter, life, living in the moment, struggles

“Do all the good you can, By all the means you can, In all the ways you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all the people you can, As long as ever you can.” ~ unattributed

There seems to be a dispute about whether or not this quote can be attributed to John Wesley or not.

In fact there’s a whole website dedicated to the quotes John Wesley did not say.

But who said it, doesn’t matter nearly as much to me as what the quote suggests.

Doing good.

Right now, using all the gifts at your disposal, no matter the circumstances.

No matter where you are, what time it is, who you are with and how much time you have left, is a worthy endeavor.

Not just when you’re at the top of your game; when all the pieces are falling into place.

But do good when your bottom’s falling out.

When you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Do good when you don’t want to; especially when you don’t want to.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

What good thing can you do right now?

Just Look it in the Eye and Slap it!

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Become a worry-slapper. Treat frets like mosquitoes. ~ Max Lucado

What did she mean by “Your hair looks nice TODAY?”

What if he betrays me?

What if they don’t like my idea?

What if they don’t like me?

What if I screw up that presentation?

What if everything falls apart?

What if I don’t have enough money when I retire?

What if? What if!

You ever have one of those nights where your brain just won’t stop?

I have and let me tell you, it’s not fun to be around me when I haven’t had enough sleep!

I worry and worry and toss and turn and sing LA LA LA LA in an effort to drown out my brain and it keeps coming at me, YELLING at me, warning me, taunting me with endless doom theories and outrageous possibilities!

I’m not talking about the things I can do something about – no!

I lay awake barraged by things that are completely out of my control!

Boy that Max Lucado sure is one smart cookie!

The next time I’m laying awake with worry I’m going to pretend my worry is a mosquito

and SLAP it!!

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Maybe Hope is Enough

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200 words, caring, community, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, family, health, hope, living in the moment, love, parents, Relationships, struggles

“It is not necessary to always feel strong. It is sufficient to have hope that we will be strong enough at the proper time and place.” –St. Francis de Sales

For the last few years, I’ve struggled with the fact that my family is so spread out.

My daughter is 3 1/2 hours north of me.

My parents and brother are a 5-hour flight east. My other relatives are in Germany.

This becomes more challenging when something goes wrong.

Several days ago my Dad was hospitalized when his leg just gave out, due to a medical condition, and he fell into a marble table.

I spent a lot of time on the phone; with Mom, my brother, my daughter just updating and encouraging each other.

Long story short, he’s fine.

They had to do emergency surgery.

It went well and he is recovering.

We can’t save ourselves or our loved ones from heartbreak.

We can’t protect ourselves from bad things that just happen.

We can’t wave a magic wand around to fix everything.

We’re not bullet proof.

Yet we can hope that we are strong enough to bear these things together.

Maybe that’s enough.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~