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talktodiana

~ Igniting the power and passion in others…

talktodiana

Tag Archives: equality

The End of Men

30 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by dianasschwenk in Hump Day Chronicles, In My Opinion

≈ 64 Comments

Tags

compassion, Diana Schwenk, dreams, equality, family, growing up, happy, health, Hump Day Chronicles, joy, love, Purpose, Relationships

Father%20and%20Son

If you think about it, women barely resemble the 50’s housewife in any way these days. Back then a woman’s security was based on her husband’s ability to provide for her and her children.

Women have come a long way in the last 60 or 70 years. They’ve become educated, self-sufficient and hold a variety of traditionally male careers.

Growing up in the 70’s I often wished I’d been born a man. I felt that my future was limited in some way because of my gender.

In the 80’s and even into the 90’s I was consciously aware that I ‘dumbed down’ for the sole purpose of letting the men I was in relationships with solve all the issues that came up, you know, be ‘the man’. I’m not saying they required me to do so, but for some reason I felt it was the thing to do.

It wasn’t until I hit my 40’s that it felt ‘normal’ for me to speak my truth and believe that I was equal.

In my own struggles to be heard and taken seriously, I never gave much thought to how this woman’s movement, this revolution was affecting men who also grew up with the same stereotypes I held to be true.

The other night I watched a documentary called The End of Men. It told the stories of three men, all of whom had been unemployed for about a year. In their late 40’s to late 50’s these men shared what a nightmare it was for them to suddenly be out of work. It was hard to watch them become emotional (because yes, I still, at some level, buy into the fact that men don’t cry.)

All three men dealt with their situations in different ways. One, at 57 was going to college to become an accountant. Another, the only one whose wife was somewhat supportive, was starting his own business. And the other seemed to be sinking deeper into a depression and his marriage was falling apart. Interestingly enough however, all three men were relishing the relationships they were building with their children. Through their experiences and the things they said, I felt as though I got a glimpse, for the first time ever, of what it means to be a man to a man. Here are some of the comments I remember that really struck me.

My wife and I are always fighting now. I can tell by the way she looks at me, she’s lost all respect. Our marriage is on the rocks. I was blessed to grow up in a happy and financially secure home. I look at my kids, and it kills me that I can’t give that to them.

It’s been devastating to lose my job. I don’t know who I am anymore. A man is supposed to provide for his family. I don’t feel like a man anymore (tears). Sure it’s tough for a woman when she loses her job, but she doesn’t stop feeling like a woman.

You know, I’m happy for women and children. For so long they have been oppressed in a way. It’s been hard for them. Women feeling empowered is a good for them. Maybe it’s good for men too. I mean it’s a lot of pressure to live up to the ideal of being a man in the traditional sense. Maybe I can learn to be a person who has dreams. A person who enjoys being a Dad.

And isn’t that what equality means? It’s not about women finding their own and men losing it all. It’s about men and women finding a way to be happy as people and pursue their dreams – it’s about being equals. My eyes were opened by this documentary. It gave me a lot to think about.

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

What are your thoughts on what makes a man, a man?

 

 

Oh Canada?

02 Wednesday Oct 2013

Posted by dianasschwenk in Hump Day Chronicles, In My Opinion

≈ 71 Comments

Tags

Canada, Canadian National Anthem, Diana Schwenk, equality, Hump Day Chronicles, in all thy sons command, National Post, tradition, world issues

Oh brother!

I know, I know…

I may not be the most popular person for saying that I want our Canadian anthem to stay as it is.

But I am Canadian and entitled to my opinion.flag-of-canada

For those who aren’t aware this is what is happening. A group of prominent women are starting a campaign to change the line ‘in all thy sons command’  to a more gender-neutral phrase adapted from the 1908 version of our Canadian anthem.

Apparently our anthem was changed to the version we have today in 1913 to honour the soldiers being deployed in WW I.

Personally I’ve never been offended with the line; just as I am not offended by the term mankind  or mailman. Don’t get me wrong, I have a great deal of respect for the women who are starting this campaign.

But I like the traditional version. The version I sang at school. The version I sang in my Brownie Pack. The version we sing at hockey games. It’s what I grew up with. It reflects our history. It tells the story of our forefathers. It brings a tear to my eye every time I hear it – I am proud to be a Canadian.

I understand where the lady on the news is coming from when she says, “men wouldn’t stand for it if the line read ‘in all our daughter’s command’.” I can appreciate the woman on a talk show this morning who said. “Canada is diverse now. Many Canadians have come from other countries. Not everyone believes in G-O-D.”

Still If we change all thy sons and take God out of it. Maybe we also need to work on the line ‘our home and native land’ because a significant percentage of Canadians were not born in Canada. So… our home and chosen  land?

I don’t know. I like our anthem. I think it should stay the same. It links us to our history. It holds a place in my heart.

There’s a whole whack of other stuff we need to worry about like the US government shutting down.

I mean that’s gotta affect cross-border shopping, right??? 😉

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

O Canada we stand on guard for thee

Where do you stand on the proposed changes to the Canadian anthem?

Canadian Anthem Lyrics

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What if

05 Wednesday Dec 2012

Posted by dianasschwenk in Hump Day Chronicles, In My Opinion

≈ 28 Comments

Tags

caring, community, compassion, courage, courteous, Diana Schwenk, diversity, equality, generosity, good character, goodness, happy, helpful, hope, integrity, kindness, love, meaningful, passion, peace, question, spiritual, tolerance, world issues

I know I’m not the first person to ponder what if and I probably won’t be the last.

Even as a child, I would question the way we humans treated each other while at the same time I know full well that, at times, I’ve treated people differently based solely on their appearance or status.

Why do I do that?

I clearly remember wishing that humans would intentionally start marrying people outside of their race and having children. My child-mind wondered how many generations it would take before we all looked alike, spoke the same language and adopted similar values and beliefs.

I still find myself yearning, praying and wishing because isn’t every person worthy?

Isn’t every life sacred?

Realistically, I know that there’s probably no chance we will all become one people, with one language and value system but…

~

What if it didn’t matter if you were black, white, red or yellow?

What if it didn’t matter if you were politically left, right, or in the middle?

What if it didn’t matter if you were educated, uneducated, employed or unemployed?

What if it didn’t matter if you lived in a mansion, an apartment, a hut or on the streets?

What if it didn’t matter if you were rich, poor, or somewhere in between?

What if it didn’t matter if you were Christian, Jewish, Muslim or something else?

What if it didn’t matter if you were straight, gay, bisexual or trapped in the wrong gender?

What if it didn’t matter if you were fat, skinny, short, or tall?

What if it didn’t matter if you were physically ill, mentally ill, or healthy?

What if it didn’t matter if you were young, middle-aged or ancient?

What if it didn’t matter if you were happy, sad, alone or overwhelmed in a crowd?

What if your status wasn’t determined by birth, religion, gender, or economics?

What if it didn’t matter if your hair was blond, brown, red, black or purple?

If your eyes were blue, green, brown or black?

If you spoke Hebrew, Arabic, English, French, Spanish, Chinese, Polish, German, Russian, or Pig Latin?

If you were Asian, African, European, North American, Hispanic, or Middle Eastern?

If you had a high or low IQ, EQ or cholesterol level?

ac

What if you understood that at your core…

that in essence we are all spiritual beings

who just happen to have a variety of different outer shells and experiences?

What if all that mattered was that you had good character and integrity…

that you strove to find beauty and goodness and meaning in others and in all that you do?

that you were:

Kind to others

Thoughtful

Generous to a fault

Courageous

Tolerant

Loving

Encouraging

Helpful

Hospitable

Compassionate

Truthful

Courteous

Passionate

Hopeful

I want to make a conscious effort to live these values in my life. I know I won’t always be successful, there will be days when I fall short but if I can become aware of the times I don’t quite measure up, I can correct myself and begin again.

HDC Banner

What do you think? What are some of the things you could do differently?

What if?

Related articles

Every now and then I look at the links WordPress recommends. I was quite moved by the link below. If you have a moment, give it a read. It really is quite powerful.

  • What Will Matter – Michael Josephson (tersiaburger.com)

Talk to Diana


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