Somebody Cares

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alone, caring, children, courage, daughters, family, Fear, growing up, kids, kindness, love, memories, only human, passion, shame, strong, vulnerability, weak

The other day, my beautiful daughter, Michaela, posted the letter below on her Facebook page.

If you are in your tweens/teens and feel alone, please know that you are not the first to feel like you don’t quite measure up. Things will probably get better and the things you’re learning now are making you stronger.

If you are the parent of a tween/teen remind them every day how much you love them and not just because they’re you’re kid and you have to, but because he or she is a beautiful person worthy of love.

Dear 12-year-old Michaela,

The first thing I want you to know is no matter how alone you feel right now, no matter how much you think nobody cares, your mom is your best friend and she gets you.

Being chubby is not the end of the world. I’m sorry that your peers seem to think it is. Fat does not equal ugly. Being mean and cruel is ugly. You are beautiful.

I know something really bad just happened to you. I know you’re scared. I know you are ashamed. Talk about it. Tell people. Talk to a counsellor. It’s not your fault. I promise you it’s not your fault.

I know you think you’ll never be one of the pretty girls. You are a pretty girl. Nobody needs to tell you. You have a beautiful heart, and soul and your outsides are beautiful too. Stop comparing yourself to them. You’re nothing like them.

Not everyone is going to like you, and that is so far beyond ok. It’s nothing you did. I know how hard you’re trying but sometimes people just don’t click. Michaela, let it go.
The sooner you learn to love yourself and that you are worthy of love, the happier you will be. It’s hard, it’s so so hard. But it’s coming.

Don’t feel ashamed for talking to a therapist. They are there to help you and everyone should. Shit gets hard, Michaela. You’re not weak, you’re human. Don’t be afraid to move. It’s not going to be perfect but so much good will come out of it, it doesn’t even matter.

Tell people you love them. It’s not lame. If you feel it, say it. It will change people and people will love you for it. Don’t ever be afraid to love.

Be proud of who you are, Michaela. You’re good enough. In fact, you’re so far beyond just enough. You are kind, and generous and sweet. You have so much love to give. Give it. It will come back in waves.

Never stop playing sports. I know there will be a time where it feels like you don’t even have time to breathe, but when you get that time back, get back to it.

On the same note, never stop doing what you love. Don’t let anyone’s darkness steal your passion. Your passion and joy is amazing. It isn’t lame. Screw anyone who says it is.

12-year-old me, I love you. I’m so sorry it’s so hard right now. I’m sorry you feel alone but people love you. You have no idea how good it’s going to get so please don’t be afraid. You are so beautiful. You are worthy. You are amazing. I love you, girl. It’s going to be ok.

Thank you Michaela for allowing me to share your beautiful letter on my blog. I hope it will help someone else to not feel so alone and hopeless.

Love you kiddo,

MOM ❤

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

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Face to Face

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200 words, addiction, alone, community, connecting, depression, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, family, health, herd mentality, human nature, humanity, interaction, interdependent, isolation, living in the moment, love, Relationships, social, teamwork, technology

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

– Albert Einstein

I’m sure that when we first got mail service, a mother who missed her adult son said, “Now he doesn’t have to visit, he just writes a letter,” and it broke her heart.

And I’ll bet when we first got telephones that some jilted lover missed seeing her man face-to-face when he called.

And TV sure did it’s part to break up the family conversation around the dinner table.

But we got used to these things. With the passing of time, we became accustomed to each new way of communicating and being, and only bemoaned technology when a new one popped up.

These days with Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, texting, it’s almost like technology is enabling us to connect again.

But is it really?

When you don’t see facial expressions or reactions, are you really connecting?

With record numbers of people struggling with depression, addiction and loneliness and countless others thinking suicide is their best option, isn’t it time we reexamine the value of connecting one-to-one and creating a sense of belonging through community?

Isn’t it time for us to get face-to-face?

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Those Who Have Been Through The Fire

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200 words, Alberta, alone, Calgary, Canada, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, Fear, friends, generosity, integrity, kindness, life, living in the moment, Relationships, world issues

I love when people who have been through hell walk out of the flames carrying buckets of water for those still consumed by the fire…

Stephanie Sparkles

Over the years I have had the privilege of walking alongside some of the most vulnerable and traumatized people in our city.

When I came across the above quote, I immediately thought of these beautiful people, because it is often those coming out of the fire, those who need comfort themselves who provide comfort to another person. It is often those who have nothing that give everything.

Never have I witnessed as great a spirit of generosity, courage and love in another group of people. Never have I run across as great an example of people who ‘live in the moment’ better. Never have I been so inspired to reevaluate my views and the definitions of words like love, happiness and success.

When did it become all about ‘Me’ and ‘How much I can get’ instead of putting others ahead of ‘myself?’

When did it become easy to do nothing and turn away from those who are suffering?

What will it take to get us back on track?

 ~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Life Has A Way Of Showing Us

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200 words, alone, believe, broken, community, courage, death, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, family, Fear, grief, hope, humbled, learning, life, live, living in the moment, loss, love, memories, strong, struggles, Truth, vulnerability, weak

He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

Why do we struggle so to get up from our knees? Why do we resist vulnerability and humility so vehemently? What drives us to prove we are not ‘weak’. What are we so afraid of?

Why do we tell ourselves that we can plan it all out so that we’ll never have to face our fears?

That from this high and lofty place we’ve constructed, we can stand up to anything or anyone?

Life has a way of showing us that we are fooling no one but ourselves.

Life has a way of driving us down to our knees.

As counterintuitive as it seems and has hard as we may resist – it is on our knees when we are:

Broken.

Naked.

Vulnerable.

Humble.

Weak in our own eyes.

Facing and embracing the truth about ourselves.

That we are made strong,

that we learn to live, laugh and love 

and are able to stand up before anyone or anything.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Upon the recent death of our Dad, my brother Michael said, “Dad taught so much and he is still quietly teaching us.”

Related post: The Glory of Life

10 Questions For When You’re Stuck

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200 words, actions, alone, answer, awakening, change, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, energy, Fear, growing up, health, hope, hopeless, life, Purpose, questions, sad, spiritual, stuck, success, transformation

Being stuck serves a spiritual purpose. It is fertile ground for transformation to occur. It tells you that a change is needed. ~ 7 Ways to get unstuck, HuffPost Healthy Living

No one has to tell you. You know when you’re stuck. You know how it affects you; you feel alone and sad and hopeless.

But being stuck isn’t the worst place to be. Think of it as a wakeup call. And getting the right answers often means asking the right questions.

Here are 10 questions I found on Leadership Freak that help me when I’m stuck

1. What do you want?
2. What does success look like?
3. What have you tried that didn’t work?
4. What should you stop doing?
5. What could you try?
6. Which options generate energy?
7. How would you describe the behavior?
8. When will you try it?
9. What will you not have done, if you fail?
10. How will you assess progress?

These questions function well as a screening exercise for me – professionally and personally. I particularly like question 6.

It immediately shines a light on any bullshit answers; in effect, saving me tons of time.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

How might these questions help you? How do you get unstuck?

What it must feel like to be invisible

Tags

Alberta, alone, Calgary, Canada, compassion, Diana Schwenk, falling, Homelessness, Hump Day Chronicles, invisible, memories, world issues

I was totally stumped. No idea what I was going to write today. That is until I read Jim McKeever’s post over at Irish Investigations where he wrote about the hidden camera test of kindness video that’s been making the rounds. In a nutshell, a videographer compared peoples’ reactions to a man in a suit on crutches falling and a homeless man on crutches falling.

To read Jim’s post click here.

Jim’s post reminded me of something that once happened to me.

Years ago, on a cold winter day I parked my car at Hotel d’Arts where the homeless organization I was working for had secured parking spots for staff.

Man it was cold that day. I don’t remember how cold but it might as well have been -100 for how quickly my exposed skin started to freeze the minute I stepped out of the car.

I rushed down Centre Street toward the 12th Avenue intersection, passing men who were standing on ‘cash corner’ and waiting for anyone who might have a day’s work for them. Most of these men were homeless or at the very least, living way below the poverty line. I probably knew some of them, but I was too focused on walking the two blocks to work as fast as I could to notice.

Shivering from the cold, I waited for the light to change. As I crossed Centre Street, I slipped on the ice and came crashing down on the road.

I must have hit my head because I felt dizzy and nauseous.  I couldn’t get up or even call out for help. I looked at the men on cash corner, my eyes pleading for help, and not one person moved to help me.

I remember thinking about what would happen when the light turned red. Panic set in so I crawled on my stomach like soldiers do in basic training to get under that net to the next obstacle in their exercise. I crawled/dragged myself to the other side of the street to the building that stands there. I pulled myself into a standing position using the building as support and waited there until my head stopped swimming. Then I walked to work.

I was not angry that day. More confounded, I think. Surprised that no one helped me.

In retrospect, it was almost like I just accepted that no one helped. I imagine most homeless folks have felt this way at one time or another.  This is what it must be like to feel invisible.

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Having asked several people over the years what the hardest part about being homeless is, most answered along these lines:  It’s not when people look at you as if you’re disgusting, it’s when people look right through you as if you’re invisible. Have you ever felt invisible?

When Hello Means Goodbye

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200 words, alone, children, courage, death, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, family, grief, hard times, kids, life, loss, love, memories, Relationships, son

How very softly you tiptoed into my world. Almost silently, only a moment you stayed.

But what an imprint your footprints have left upon my heart. ~ D. Ferguson

Today is Jesse’s birthday.

In many ways, his birth was very much like that of others.

Except Jesse was still-born.

I knew he was dead before they induced labour.

The room was reverently quiet.

As if everyone there was a silent witness paying their first and last respects.

In a way, giving birth to Jesse was one of the most beautiful experiences I’ve ever had. He may have died within me, but I think being born was a rite of passage for him; and for me.

Had he lived, Jesse would be turning 22 today.

I have never really talked about him much.

Not because I wasn’t deeply affected by his death.

Because I was.

I felt him grow inside me.

I felt him move within.

I talked to him every day.

And I held his still body in my arms.

To me he was a person who lived

and died. 

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

Happy Birthday my son – until we meet again

Sweet Sizzling Summer in The City

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alone, Calgary, daughters, Diana Schwenk, family, hard work, Hump Day Chronicles, joy, kids, living in the moment, shadows, summer, sunshine, Tourist in my own city

I AM CRAZY-IN-LOVE WITH SUMMER!

It’s been so hot! My thick ‘Russian-hat-like-hair’ makes me sweat like crazy.

But I’m not complaining. No Sir! I am crazy in love with summer!

And today they’re calling for 31c, that’s almost 90f for Pete’s sake, it’s gonna be a scorcher and unlike places further south, most of us don’t have AC.

Sleeping at night is a fan-on-stay-on-top-of-the-covers and don’t-let-any-part-of-your-body-touch-any-other-part-of-your-body affair.

But I’m not complaining. No Sir! I am crazy in love with summer!

And because I love summer so much. I try to get out there as often as I can.

I’ve also been quite busy with work. I have several projects I’m working on so my days have been pretty full even though I’m getting up extra early to fit it all in. I haven’t had a lot of time for socializing, or writing and reading posts. I miss my friends and keeping up with what you’re all up to!

For an extrovert like me, it’s been an interesting experience.

It’s been just me and my shadow…

But I have something else to look forward to. My daughter is coming to visit this weekend!

Check out my latest summer photos below.

Music Saturday in Tompkins Park has started again!

The site of the old Mustard Seed. I come here sometimes when I need to feel grounded.

Flowers at Olympic Plaza

Flowers are everywhere!

Foliage meets concrete

A reminder that there are some folks who don’t get a break from the elements in any season…

I’m always learning new things from signs I read on store windows…

View from pedestrian bridge at the Stampede Grounds over Macleod Trail facing north

This is my favourite grass, it’s so soft!

Alberta is Wild rose country

Between working and trying to get out in the sunshine as much as possible, my days are pretty full.

But I’m not complaining. No sir! I’m crazy in love with summer!

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

How’s your summer going?

 

 

Kindness – It Costs You Nothing

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200 words, alone, caring, Charity, community, compassion, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, generosity, healing, integrity, kindness, living in the moment, love, peace, smiles

Always be a little kinder than necessary. – J.M. Barrie

I admire many qualities in people, but the greatest quality I’ve witnessed is kindness.

Anyone can be kind, it costs you nothing or very little, and often comes back to you in surprising ways.

When the woman in front of you is short a few cents at the check out, give her your change. Charity is love in action.

When you finally get your coffee after waiting in line forever at the ‘Drive Through,’  pay for the guy behind you too. Generosity is contagious.

When you see a homeless man passed out on the street, make sure he’s ok, call an ambulance if need be and wait with him there. He won’t feel so alone.

When the cashier seems rude, flash her a smile and say thank you when she give you your change. Smiles are gifts.

When a student drops all his books as crowds rush by and further scatter them, help him retrieve them. He’s not alone.

When a woman sits slumped over on the curb and is crying, ask her if there is anything you can do to help. Compassion heals.

~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~

A Christmas Guest Post by Stephanie Barrett

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alone, building community, Christmas, Diana Schwenk, together

Christmas, a time to spend with your loved ones, a time for family, a time to give.

We spend so much time thinking about our families at this time of year. We rush around buying each other gifts and sending cards. We hurry to the grocery store to make sure the dinner is perfect. We donate gifts and food to Christmas bureaus and food banks. What we don’t do is take time to stop and have a look around. We don’t look at our friends and people we love and care about and make sure they are not alone for Christmas. I can almost guarantee that at least 1 person you know will be spending Christmas alone. Having spent Christmas alone at least once in my life, I can tell you it is very sad. Maybe their family is far away, or have passed on. Everyone’s circumstance is different.
Sometimes it is not about giving a valuable gift. Take a moment, look around, who is alone? Maybe you can invite that person to Christmas dinner. If that’s not possible, maybe you can take a time out from your Christmas Day and stop in, say hello, have some coffee. It may mean the world to that person.

Christmas, a time to never feel alone.

~

I met Stephanie when she was a teenager. At the time, she faced some serious struggles in her life – a story that is hers to share should she ever wish to do so. When Stephanie asked me if she could share a Christmas post on my blog, I’m jumped at it and agreed immediately. Like Stephanie, I know the loneliness of being alone and the blessing of being included at Christmas.

Thank you Stephanie for your wisdom and beautiful heart-felt words. Merry Christmas!