I Kinda Like Edmonton, It’s Not Scary At All

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Alberta, all in fun, Calgary, Canada, daughters, Edmonton, embarassing your kids, family, humour, Hump Day Chronicles, Karaoke, Life's like that, living in the moment, Michaela, rivalry, road trip, rudeness

5:30 sunrise – Edmonton Alberta Canada

I had arranged to meet my northern colleagues in Edmonton this past Monday, and I’d decided to come early so I could spend some time with my daughter, Michaela and her boyfriend Stephen.

That way I wouldn’t have to drive three hours there and three hours back in one day.

I always get all turned around when I drive to, and try to navigate, another city. I have no sense of direction whatsoever. In fact, it’s a fair bet that if I feel strongly about going one way, I should probably be going the other way!

Luckily, I only had to circle once to get to the Ramada Hotel when I arrived in Edmonton on Saturday afternoon.

The kids met me at the hotel for dinner. Much to my dismay, it was Karaoke night.

I don’t like Karaoke and I’m not very good at hiding my dislike of Karaoke.

Turns out my face gives me away and I just can’t keep my opinions to myself.

Me, Michaela and Stephen

If loose lips sink ships, I sunk a whole fleet!

I really don’t mean to be disrespectful or rude – honest!

It’s just that Karaoke is the equivalent to fingernails scratching across the black board to me.

Michaela was a tad mortified by my behavior but aside from that, we enjoyed a nice dinner, caught up on all the latest news and met some really cool people!

The next day, I met the kids in their part of town.  We enjoyed a lovely brunch at Smitty’s and afterwards they introduced me to their two Siamese cats Lily and Keetah and their hamster Enchilada…

no that’s not it – Fajita

nope that’s not it either, Burritos – yeah that’s it!

They also brought me to the coolest coffee shop in St. Albert, a small town on the outskirts of Edmonton.

The coolest coffee shop in St. Albert

You know…I hear a lot of talk about rivalry between Calgary and Edmonton.

Something to do with hockey, I think; Calgary Flames vs. Edmonton Oilers. Or the Calgary Stampede vs. Klondike Days. Or Edmonton is getting a new arena and now we want one too or something along those lines.

I suspect the two cities secretly like each other though, why else would Calgary have a street called Edmonton Trail and Edmonton have a street called Calgary Trail?

I guess I’ve never really gotten caught up in that whole Calgary/Edmonton rivalry because I’m from Montreal originally, and I know the real important thing is The-Montreal-Canadiens-are-better-than-the-Toronto-Maple-Leafs.

Dinosaur on Calgary Trail in Edmonton

I kinda like Edmonton. It’s not scary at all!

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Does your city have a rival city?

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How to fit 7 women on a couch

Tags

Alberta, all in fun, Diana Schwenk, family, friends, funny, growing up, humour, Hump Day Chronicles, joy, laughter, life, living in the moment, love, memories, Olds, Olds Liquor Store, silliness, Swag

“Hey, you got some swag?” Kelly asked as she was paying for her items at the Olds Liquor store. “What kind of liquor is swag?” asked Danielle. “By swag, I mean free stuff!”

Jane, Diana, Annie, Bob, Kelly, George

I pulled up in front of Bob and Mo’s around 2PM.

A bunch of us were getting together for a barbecue because George and Annie head back east today to visit with family before heading back home to Scotland.

Bob and Mo offered up their home, and George and Annie dished out the cash for food – the rest of us were told just to show up and bring our favourite beverage.

It’s an hour’s drive to Olds so I figured I would just pick up my bevvies when I got there. Not knowing where the liquor store was, I asked if anyone wanted to come along and show me.

That’s when Kelly told us about all the free stuff she got.

Bob volunteered to ride shot-gun with me and we were off! Once we’d chosen what we wanted, we headed to the counter to pay. With my hand on my hip and a huge grin pasted on my face, I said,

“I hear you got some swag.”

By the time, she was done with us, Danielle had forked over three cowboy hats, two Canadian flags, two beer diffusers, two Old Milwaukee car fresheners and a speaker for iPods, iPhones and other iThings!

I love Olds Liquor Store – they’re awesome!

And I love old friends. They know you – the good and the bad – and love you anyway. You can just be who you are and that usually adds up to fun. And I love fun!

WHAT HAPPENS IN OLDS, STAYS IN OLDS

Back at Bob and Mo’s the party was at full swing and just being together seemed to melt the years away revealing a glimpse of the twenty-somethings we used to be.

Jane and Annie

Bruce

Singing, “We are the champions”

Albertan Hillbillies

A twist on the twist

5 strand braid

The Swatternator

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Silliness, playfulness and lots of laughing ensued. I can’t tell you too much because what happens in Olds, stays in Olds. The flip side of getting to be who you are and freely wearing your silly hat is a good measure of discretion.

But I can tell you how to fit 7 women on a couch!

That’s me on the left just in front of Mo’s head, Kathie, Jane and Kelly on the couch and Terena on the right. Notice all the swag in the room, the hats and the I am Canadian flag?

“Hey, let’s all get on the couch and get our picture taken!”

Ok, so now we’ve got Kathie, Jane, me Kelly, Annie and Mo laying across on the couch and Terena is still at the bottom-right frame.

“C’mon Terena, get on the couch!”

“There’s no more room left, I can’t.”

“Sure you can, lay across the back of the couch!”

 “O-kay, I’ll just climb up on this table…”

“Oh, I can’t, I feel so silly.”

“Sure you can, this is going to be a great picture – c’mon Terena!”

“That’s it, keep coming, you’re doing great – you don’t look silly at all!”

“O-kay, here I come!”

“Awesome! Everybody say cheese!”

Yup, we sure had a lot of silly fun and we’re gonna miss you George and Annie. Wishing you safe travels and who knows, maybe next time we’ll all come to Scotland!!

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Do you have friends who know who you are and still love you? What’s the largest number of women you’ve ever assembled on a couch? If you haven’t tried this, was this tutorial helpful? Does your liquor store have swag?

In unrelated news, the very next day I woke up to the following scene!
Only in Canada eh?

Banksy – Setting the Record Straight

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Aboot vs About, all in fun, Banksy, beer, Canada, changing seasons, Diana Schwenk, Eh, Hockey, humour, Hump Day Chronicles, laughter, poutine, Royal Canadian Mounted Police, Stereotypes, toque

Nobody enjoys Canadian stereotypes more than Canadians.

Enjoying a Tim Horton’s coffee and muffin while rocking a togue!

We can laugh at ourselves.

We don’t have to take ourselves so seriously all the time!

Life is way too short to be offended by every little thing that every little someone says.

Today I would like to go over some of the more common stereotypes I’ve heard about Canadians.

We all wear toques

Um yeah! Nobody rocks a toque like a Canadian! When it’s cold outside they say 90% of our body heat escapes through our heads. Wearing a toque makes sense. If you’re ever somewhere cold, you should try it – it may even save your life!

We say “eh”

To be honest, I have spent a great many years trying not to say Eh. I’ve told people it’s not even said except when we want to entertain tourists. Truth is I say it. We all say it. So what? Americans say Huh and Right. British people say Yeah at the beginning of every sentence. Australians say Aye. So what’s the problem, eh?

We say aboot instead of about

Fiddlesticks! We say ABOUT – the rest of you say it funny!

We drink beer like it’s water

This is simply not true. Well unless we’re vacationing in the States because the beer there…well it tastes like water. Seriously, we also drink wine and spirits and the odd mason jar filled with potato moonshine!

We only care about hockey

Yeah ok. Pretty much. But don’t knock it until you’ve sat in a cold arena with your toque on, eating poutine and drinking beer while watching an exciting sit-at-the-edge-of-your-seat-cussing-like-a-trucker  game of hockey!

We all live in igloos, use dog sleds

Puh-lease! Seriously?

All of our police are Mounties

Admit it! You’re just jealous of our totally cool uniforms and musical rides!

The entire country is covered in snow and ice

True – we have a longer winter than some. But we do have 4 seasons and we find ways to enjoy all of them. For example in the winter I enjoy complaining about the cold, but I do it while rocking my toque!

But I draw the line at boring!

The other day I came across this story. An editorial by British street artist Banksy criticizes New York skyscraper One World Trade Center, and disses Canada in the process. In an op-ed meant for the New York Times but rejected by the paper, the anonymous artist slams the “shy skyscraper,” saying it looks Canadian. “That building is a disaster. Well no, disasters are interesting. One World Trade Center is a non-event. It’s vanilla. It looks like something they would build in Canada,” he wrote.  – source: Huffington Post. To see the complete article click here.

Canadian Buildings

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Oh Banksy.

Canada is a diverse nation whose citizens come from a variety of cultures. This is reflected in its many buildings; everything from skyscrapers, cathedrals, mosques, historical buildings to cultural structures and the aforementioned Igloos. Maybe, before you run around dissing Canada and calling us boring, you might want to come check us out in person.

Let me know if you can make it Banksy. I swear – you won’t be bored!

We’ll show you a good time and we promise not to yank a togue down over your face and tie you to the back of a sled being pulled by running dogs. 😉

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

Oh! I almost forgot! We say sorry a lot

I’m sorry if that bothers you. I’m sorry if this post offends you. I’m sorry about my sweeping generalization regarding truckers and their potty mouths. I’m sorry if I hurt your itty bitty feelings Banksy. Honestly, I didn’t mean it, eh.