The Gift of Presence

I watched as a man folded his meal into his paper plate as if it were a fajita and bite into it, plate and all. Later in the evening he cried out in pain when he tried to get up to leave. He hurt all over yet didn’t want an ambulance and was barely able to articulate what he was feeling. Surrounded by more packages than he could ever carry, he was determined to leave without any assistance.

I spoke to a woman; I’m guessing she was in her late 20s or early 30s. She looked much older than her years, living on the streets has a way of doing that. She was kneeling on the floor preparing a plate of seconds to take with her. She carefully placed another plate on top of her plated meal and slid it into a zip lock bag she pulled out of her belongings. She fastened the bag until most of it was sealed and then she sucked the air out of the bag to vacuum seal it and placed it in a large plastic bag with the rest of her belongings. She looked up at me and my heart sank seeing her black eye and other cuts and bruises on her face. She was holding up a clean pair of underwear and asked if she could use the washroom before she left to change into them.

I spoke to a young man who couldn’t possibly eat all the food loaded on his plate. His pale steal-blue eyes flickered as he struggled to keep them open, his hands swollen with infected cuts moved painfully slow to get food on his fork and into his mouth. He had the kindest soul and he graciously tolerated me when what he really wanted to do was watch how the guitar on stage glowed with various coloured lights. Mesmerized he asked how it could be doing that. We wondered together if there were lights on the floor shining up on the guitar and the musician playing it.

The truth be told I felt crushed under the weight of what I was witnessing that night. My mind was scrambling and I felt panic rising within me to find answers for these tortured souls because it hurt too much to see their pain. Yet upon taking a closer look at what was going on around me I was humbled by their level of gratitude for the meal, for the jackets, mitts and hats and the warmth they felt being there. Gratitude radiated like the sun in that church gymnasium.

And then I remembered.

Again.

Why do I keep forgetting?

The best gift I can give any person is my presence and full attention, to really listen, accept and love every soul where they are at in that very moment, all the while resisting the urge to “fix” them solely to make myself feel better, on what quite literally is sacred ground.

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It’s Either This or That Thinking

Yesterday my good friend reminded me that every garden has weeds. In other words there are bad apples in every batch.

Yesterday, I went to my first Freedom Rally in Memorial Park, downtown Calgary in regards to Vaccine Mandates and Vaccine Exemptions. I went to see for myself what people were saying, what was motivating them and quite honestly, I wanted to see if they were extreme in their views. That last point is important to me because I struggle when people are polarized in their views, when a situation has only two possible solutions. When it’s either this or that. It’s so divisive. There’s got to be a better third option.

What I found when I went to the Rally, were good people with families in tow peacefully demonstrating and sharing their experiences. There were all kinds of people from different backgrounds there. They were smiling and dancing and friendly and motivated by a deep desire to stand up for the good of all of us. They made some very good points. They also made some points that seemed a stretch to me, maybe even unsubstantiated broad-stroked statements. But this is true of both sides of this issue. Every garden has weeds.

FREEDOM RALLY Calgary, Canada Feb 5/2022

I started this pandemic journey getting doubly-vaccinated. I did this from a place of wanting to protect vulnerable populations. I have family and friends who have underlying conditions that make them more susceptible to bad outcomes if they contract this virus. This is a huge step for me in the sense that in pre-pandemic times I never got the flu shot. I’m healthy, I have what I believe to be a good immune system, I hardly ever get sick. So I really had to mull it over. But I feel good about my choice to do so. Many people made this choice. All kinds of people from different backgrounds, for different reasons and from a place of wanting to do good for everyone.

As the pandemic went on, I became frustrated that it didn’t seem to make a difference, even as we approached satisfactory levels of herd immunity. And the inconsistencies in mandates were so exasperating, i.e., this group needs to do this to stay safe, while this group can run around Willy Nilly just didn’t make sense to me. And then airports – people coming and going from places that were nowhere near achieving herd immunity because, in my view, the vaccine formula was not freely shared with these countries. If science was truly to be accepted why didn’t we act like it? Honestly it feels like it’s about money. It’s about politics. It’s about greed and not about the common good of everyone.

Yes, I hate polarization. Perhaps that is a flaw in my belief system. And perhaps I even unwittingly participate in polarization. But just as I grow as a person and hopefully become a better version of myself, perhaps any great thing that humanity has ever achieved starts out with polarized views which result in one-sided truths. Maybe this is the process it takes before we become open to hear the other side and hopefully come to a place of understanding, not through government, not through corporations, but through the masses as we choose to not see each other as the enemy and work together to break through ‘it’s either this or that’ thinking to get to the better third option.

What do you think?

Sunday Snap: In the Ocean of Life

Love that adaptation Jennifer! ❤
Diana xo

Jennifer's Journal

“In the ocean of life, we are all ships that pass in the night.”

– adapted from a poetic metaphor by
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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Christmas Fund: Oxford House recovery centre builds on the power of peer support

The night Jason Carriere’s friend offered to help him check into an addiction recovery centre, he knew it was the turning point he’d been so desperately looking for.

“I literally went downstairs and slept by the front door, so I’d be ready,” says Carriere, 42.

In the morning, he woke up and threw back a drink before heading out the door with her.

“That was at 7:35 a.m., July 5, 2017, the last drink of alcohol I’ve had.”

Read the complete article here

I was there when Jason was interviewed for this story. He was honoured to do so and does all he can to give back in the hopes that it will help someone else who is struggling. Please share or reblog this story!

Diana xo

❤

 

I am not alone.

I’m so excited for this event tonight, and that Louise graciously agreed to speak at it!

Dare Boldly

Unexpectedly, I am self-conscious.

Unexpectedly, I wonder if my words have meaning. Depth. Substance.

Most mornings when I write in this space, I am simply present. No artifice. No ‘gotta make people think this, feel that’. No, hmmm, what message shall I give today? It’s just me, the velvet night turning light outside my office window, the desk lamp casting a golden glow upon my keyboard and Beaumont, curled up on the floor behind me, sleeping.

This morning, the critter awoke and ego mind leapt into the fray. “You gotta make sure your words have meaning, Louise. You gotta write important stuff!”

The critter is a devious character. He likes to try to convince me that what I write must come from my mind. “Your heart is too soft,” he says. “Your heart will get you into trouble. Take care. Listen up and listen only to me. I will tell…

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Circles of Hope — We must share

I had the beautiful privilege of attending this event, and let me tell you the room was connected heart-to-heart. Well done Louise, Alexis and Inn From the cold!

Dare Boldly

Photography by Mary Hone

It is 2am and I can’t sleep.

I don’t know if I’m still buzzed from the amazingness that was Circles of Hope yesterday, or if I’m just so emotionally exhausted even sleep can’t find space to turn up.

It was an amazing day.

Full house.

Incredible speakers and a team that made the entire thing look flawless and effortless.

Beyond the day however, is the emotional space created in sharing this journey with my eldest daughter. Of sitting with her and talking about the story of the past, our fears and sorrows and how to tell the story so that it not only inspires but reminds people that they are not alone.

Last night, I received an email from one of the attendees. They hadn’t planned on coming to the event, but a change in their schedule gave them some free time.

Being a parent myself…

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How to Tell Your True Story

I was immediately drawn to the title of this post and enjoyed it so much I had to share it with you. ❤
“Our temptation is to reduce people to one story. People are considerably more complex than a single story could ever convey.”

Jake Owensby

As the seventh graders started lining up to exit the classroom, the teacher said, “Not you, Sam Owensby. You sit back down. You’re staying right here. You’ll just ruin the whole assembly.”

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The Difference Between Judging and Discerning

I’ve been doing a lot of reading on dualistic thinking and how it limits us, so when I came across Val’s post yesterday, I just had to share with you! ❤
Diana xo

Find Your Middle Ground

When I was little, I was told how important it was to do what was “right” and not get into trouble by doing something “wrong”. Yet, as I grew up I saw that many of the rights and wrongs didn’t make sense. It all depended on the perspective and belief of the person.

When I was told that a terrorist is also a freedom fighter, depending on whose side you are on, I really got it.  It opened my eyes to seeing things in a new way.

Dualistic (either/or) thinking, prevents us from seeing the whole truth.

Judging is about determining what is right or wrong, good or bad. It comes from our minds tendency to think dualistically, in terms of right or wrong. We grasp on to this to keep us feeling in control and safe. In order to maintain a stable society, religion and the law reinforce this idea.

Yet…

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The Non-Complaint Department

In lieu of a Friday Pick. ❤
Gratitude is the best attitude!

notquiteold

I overheard the most ordinary – yet extraordinary – conversation yesterday.

Two friends were catching up after our Yoga class. One had just returned from visiting her son and grandchildren.

“I see my grandchildren so much more than I ever thought I would,” the woman said. “It’s such an easy trip. Bradley [our Connecticut airport] is so fantastic.”

“I know!” said her friend. “Convenient parking, easy walks to the gates…  we are so lucky!”

Okay. Wow.

When was the last time you heard someone say something nice about AN AIRPORT????

But it’s true. We have a nice airport. And there are great airports all over the world. We can go anywhere. I did not travel the ocean in steerage to go to my business meeting in France.

I’m not saying we don’t have lots of problems with flying. But my God, we are flying.

And there are so many things…

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Let’s Talk #BellLetsTalk

Please read this important post, written by friend Louise Gallagher about mental health #BellLetsTalk

Dare Boldly

I am crazy about my mental health.

Crazy about being healthy of mind, strong of body, and spirit.

I am crazy about keeping my mind focused, sharp, capable of thinking great things, capable of guiding me through each day without pulling me off track into the darkness of darkness, the sadness of sadness that blankets every thought, every word, every thing when depression hits.

I am crazy in love with being free of thoughts that would drag me down into the swamp of believing the only way out of life is death. Death is part of life, but it is not the all of life. and that’s what depression would have me believe.

I am not depressed.

I do not suffer from depression.

Anymore.

I had a big encounter with it. Once.  I was in a relationship that was almost killing me. I wanted to die. I thought about ways…

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