Tags
afraid, Alberta, building community, Calgary, Canada, community, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, disconnected, elderly, Fear, feeding birds, Hump Day Chronicles, life, lonliness, love, neighbours, Purpose, Relationships, The Bird Lady, world issues
I never knew her name, even though she was my neighbour.
I wrote about her once here. For the most part though, I never paid much attention to her. Sure, I saw her out-of-the-corner-of-my-eye. I even pitied her. And if I am to be completely honest, I felt guilty when I saw her. Guilty because she reminded me that there are many elderly people who are all alone in this world.
Another neighbour who lives a couple of houses to the right stopped to talk to me this past Saturday. She asked me if it was true that the bird lady had passed away. I looked to the left, a couple of buildings over, to the bird lady’s balcony and noticed that her balcony had been cleared of her belongings. To be honest I’ve been wondering if something happened to her. I hadn’t seen her drive slowly around the block or feed the birds in quite some time.
I told my neighbor that once in late summer, I had walked past her balcony to see if I could see a sign of her. I did not. And there was no management phone number on the apartment building that I could call to inquire about her.
So I did nothing.
Me.
The person who goes on and on about the importance of community…
I wonder why I didn’t reach out to her. Well actually, I think I know why.
I was afraid that she might take up a lot of my time.
That there would be things I couldn’t do, if I was involved with her. Things that I would miss. That I would have to give up.
And on a more personal level, I was afraid that I might one day be in her situation. That was something I definitely did not want to think about.
~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~
I never knew her name and I don’t know what happened to her. But I do know that I don’t want to be someone who sees people out of the corner of my eye…
elizabeth2560 said:
It is impossible to be there for the whole world. Perhaps she was happy in her own world feeding the birds and honouring her friend each time she did that. Your two posts remind of this … Julie Andrews -what a voice!
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dianasschwenk said:
I remember that song Elizabeth! My parents took us to the theatre to see that movie once a year! ❤
Diana xo
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Minuscule Moments said:
Diana Im sure we all have some one right next door to us that we do not connect with. So sad but it happens and we all think similar thoughts. Our time is precious, but this post will make me think twice if I see someone out of the corner of my eye looking lonely or in need of a chat. Thanks for sharing.
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dianasschwenk said:
I’m sure you’re right Kath and thank you for your kind words… ❤
Diana xo
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Rob Moses Photography said:
Good post. I also feel like I should reach out to people like that more often, but exactly like you I worry of my time. I should follow your lead and make a change because everyone needs to have people in their lives and new people are always good :).
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dianasschwenk said:
I love that Rob, ‘because everyone needs to have people in their lives…’ ❤
Diana xo
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Vicki Flaherty said:
Wow. “I don’t want to be someone who sees people out of the corner of my eye….” so you won’t be, Diana. 🙂
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dianasschwenk said:
I hope you’re right Vicki! ❤
Diana xo
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Wyrd Smythe said:
Yeah, I guess the trick is finding the balance between self and others. That threshold between giving back and the needs of one’s own life.
As an aside: Winter has hit Minnesota pretty bigly this week. It’s +2 F out right now. I can only imagine what it must be like in Calgary! Brrrrrr! 😮
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dianasschwenk said:
We’ve had -23c with a wind chill factor of -33c which is approximately -34f! Fun stuff. Today it’s actually nice out at -17ish with wind chill and in comparison it feels nice. ❤
Diana xo
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Wyrd Smythe said:
Brrr! A cold city for a warm heart! 🙂
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dianasschwenk said:
aww thanks!
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My Theory said:
This is a nice post but please visit and read the new ultimate theory of human relativity exclusively on My Theory.
From your follower My Theory.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you, I will! ❤
Diana xo
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Don said:
A beautiful expression of sentiment, Diana, and a fitting tribute to those who are not always seen.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you Don. ❤
Diana xo
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Wendy L. Macdonald said:
Poignant post, Diana. I can relate to avoiding people who “require much time”. After doing this with someone for ages, I finally gave into the nudge to reach out. My, oh, my, did I ever receive much more love back than I gave. I wish I’d heed the nudge to reach out more often than I do. ❤
Blessings ~ Wendy
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dianasschwenk said:
ohhhh now that’s a story that might need telling Wendy! ❤
Diana xo
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Jennifer Kelland Perry said:
A very human and honest post, Diana. You describe something I’m sure many can relate to. ❤
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Jennifer! ❤
Diana xo
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Chatter Master said:
As soon as I started reading, I connected to your story. I think it likely speaks to many of us. Your kindness, and human-ness, are evident Diana. I think your honesty here will be a motivator for us all to not look out of the corners of our eyes. Maybe this was her role in your life. It now ripples out to us to make us all think. Her story may be much more than those snapshots of her gave you. Thank you for sharing her, and you, with us.
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dianasschwenk said:
Wow, I hope so Colleen! ❤
Diana xo
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utesmile said:
What a thoughtful post Diana, Don’t be too hard on yourself, it is impossible to help all people in the community. There should be help in place from the council if needed. I used to help all elderly neighbours around my street while I had small children and no work. They have all passed away and a new wave of young people moved in. I feel now I am one of the oldest in the neighbourhood. With daily work commitments it is hard to do all you really want. You do need to look after yourself too. Never forget that.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Ute! ❤
Diana xo
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jennypellett said:
A salient reminder to us all. Thank you.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you Jenny! ❤
Diana xo
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sedge808 said:
looks so much like me…i’m always feeding the pigeons
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dianasschwenk said:
That’s great because pigeons count solely on humans to be fed! ❤
Diana xo
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sedge808 said:
❤
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Sheryl said:
Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are such a caring person, and I’m sure that she could sense it.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Sheryl. ❤
Diana xo
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Jean said:
Sad but hard to know if the bird lady had at least 1 friend locally. I agree we have these fears of isolation for ourselves simply because people can’t be bothered.
Then for those of us who don’t have children who visit, then getting to know 1-2 much younger folks on several common interests would add more dimension, learning and help if absolutely needed.
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dianasschwenk said:
That’s a great point Jean. I read an article a while back about how people who never had children, need to think about hiring someone who will advocate for them when they’re older; sort of like a senior doula. ❤
Diana xo
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Jean said:
One does need to be very careful in this area. Helps to cultivate friendship decades earlier…
I even thought about…who would deal with my blog later. I do have a niece in mind since she has a blog.
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cyclingrandma said:
Don’t be so hard on yourself. You were aware of her and she probably noticed. It’s hard to break barriers with strangers.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Lisa. I hear you and am grateful for you, I just can’t help feeling bad about stuff like this.
On another note, I talk with strangers all the time – drives my daughter crazy! ❤
Diana xo
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joannerambling said:
You are not the only person to not do something in such a situation many of us don’t which is so wrong but it is what it is and the only one who can change what we do and do not do is ourselves
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dianasschwenk said:
A very good point Jo-Anne! ❤
Diana xo
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Val Boyko said:
Such a tender heart .. and very human Diana 💛
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dianasschwenk said:
Aww thanks Val! ❤
Diana xo
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Healing Grief said:
I think your thoughts are universal Diana and I also know how much of your time is given to help others. We can’t be there for everyone, but this post reminds us to see a better view of the world and of those in need. 💕🙏🏻💕
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you for your kindness and wisdom Karen. ❤
Diana xo
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Jim McKeever said:
The capacity to forgive is part of being a sentient being …. especially the capacity to forgive ourselves. Go easy on yourself, Diana. You do so much good out there.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you Jim. 🙂 ❤
Diana xo
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vanbytheriver said:
Your abundant empathy is what motivates those feelings, Diana. It is just part of what makes us glad to know you.💘
A typically thoughtful post. Thanks.
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dianasschwenk said:
Aww thanks for your kind and generous words Van. ❤
Diana xo
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Louise Gallagher said:
What a thoughtful and thought-provoking post Diana. I think we all carry these stories. The people and times we did not reach out because… well, I think it is as you said, in a world where our time is full, how much time can we give out to a stranger? And… what if it becomes us who needs the time? As I come upon another birthday that takes me closer to what is called, a senior, I find myself wondering more about age and aging and ageism.
Quite sobering!
Thank you for this beautfully written post — you’ve given me lots to think about.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you Louise for your kind, generous, forgiving and beautiful words. And a very Happy Birthday Day coming up to you! ❤
Diana xo
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