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road-rage3

All that obey-the-rules-of-the-road malarkey is overrated. It certainly doesn’t apply to you. I’ll get the gist of what your intentions are when you cut me off and thank me with a wave of your hand. Driving is boring otherwise. How else would I get my heart pumping like that first thing in the morning?  Better yet, it’s fun when you cut me off real close so that if I don’t hit the brake while checking my rearview for a tailgater and bracing for impact, you’ll sideswipe my front end.

But don’t just cut me off. No I don’t get the full affect that way. Slow right down the minute you get in front of me. Better yet, hit the brakes, and then signal you’re turning left (the order of events is important here) and hold me in that lane seemingly forever until you’re able to turn.

I mean you’re in a hurry to turn left right? I saw you in my rearview as you rushed up at warp speed and shot into the right lane, just barely missing my rear bumper. It’s like you were playing a race-car game, the way you navigated your car – sharp right, sharp left, BOOM in front of me and then stop.

I totally get it. If you had stayed behind me and then turned left, you’d have been delayed by nanoseconds…

But you know what really gets my circulation going and gives me that wide-open-road feeling? I love when I’m a few car lengths behind you on Memorial Drive and you got a good clip going and I got a good clip going and I’m feeling sorry for those people on our right who are pretty much crawling in line to exit on that ramp to Deerfoot North. Yeah the light ahead is green and you and me we’re gonna make it through that light – I can feel it – FREEDOM!

But wait. Quelle surprise – you want on that ramp too? I guess there’s no way you were gonna get stuck in that long line, NOOOOOO, not you. You’ve got important people to see and places to go. So you do what anyone else would do in that situation; you slam on the brake, mere metres from the exit and cut into that lane over the solid line like some modern-day Mario Andretti causing two lanes of traffic  – ours and theirs – to hit their brakes.

YEAH THAT’S JUST FREAKING BRILLIANT, YOU’RE QUITE THE DRIVER NIMROD, WHERE’D YOU GET YOUR LICENSE ANYWAY, FROM THE BUBBLE GUM MACHINE?

~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~

If there was a dashboard cam recording me on my morning commute, it would be a funny thing to watch! For you that is, probably would embarrass me to see it. 😉

What’s your biggest traffic pet peeve?