Tags
adrenaline rush, Alberta, Calgary, Canada, Diana Schwenk, driving, First World Problems, heart pumping, humour, Hump Day Chronicles, laughter, life, Life's like that, morning, rant
All that obey-the-rules-of-the-road malarkey is overrated. It certainly doesn’t apply to you. I’ll get the gist of what your intentions are when you cut me off and thank me with a wave of your hand. Driving is boring otherwise. How else would I get my heart pumping like that first thing in the morning? Better yet, it’s fun when you cut me off real close so that if I don’t hit the brake while checking my rearview for a tailgater and bracing for impact, you’ll sideswipe my front end.
But don’t just cut me off. No I don’t get the full affect that way. Slow right down the minute you get in front of me. Better yet, hit the brakes, and then signal you’re turning left (the order of events is important here) and hold me in that lane seemingly forever until you’re able to turn.
I mean you’re in a hurry to turn left right? I saw you in my rearview as you rushed up at warp speed and shot into the right lane, just barely missing my rear bumper. It’s like you were playing a race-car game, the way you navigated your car – sharp right, sharp left, BOOM in front of me and then stop.
I totally get it. If you had stayed behind me and then turned left, you’d have been delayed by nanoseconds…
But you know what really gets my circulation going and gives me that wide-open-road feeling? I love when I’m a few car lengths behind you on Memorial Drive and you got a good clip going and I got a good clip going and I’m feeling sorry for those people on our right who are pretty much crawling in line to exit on that ramp to Deerfoot North. Yeah the light ahead is green and you and me we’re gonna make it through that light – I can feel it – FREEDOM!
But wait. Quelle surprise – you want on that ramp too? I guess there’s no way you were gonna get stuck in that long line, NOOOOOO, not you. You’ve got important people to see and places to go. So you do what anyone else would do in that situation; you slam on the brake, mere metres from the exit and cut into that lane over the solid line like some modern-day Mario Andretti causing two lanes of traffic – ours and theirs – to hit their brakes.
YEAH THAT’S JUST FREAKING BRILLIANT, YOU’RE QUITE THE DRIVER NIMROD, WHERE’D YOU GET YOUR LICENSE ANYWAY, FROM THE BUBBLE GUM MACHINE?
~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~
If there was a dashboard cam recording me on my morning commute, it would be a funny thing to watch! For you that is, probably would embarrass me to see it. 😉
What’s your biggest traffic pet peeve?
Ah ouï(way) “tabernouche” aussi?
Guessing on the spelling here – ’cause it’s not that I would ever actually say that word; but I HAVE heard it said. Y’know like, little pitchers have big ears, eh?
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Nope, that’s it; you got it!; )
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haha thanks Deb! ❤
Diana xo
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Oh Diana? Should I mention (qu’elle surprise; ) that your Montréal is showing; ah mon dieu, just too hilarious!!
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ahh taberwit hahaha!
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Why am I laughing? I’m supposed to be ‘Zen-like’ – I AM Zen-like, until I get in the car and drive on a road with the ridiculous people who believe that they are the ONLY ONES WHO LIVE IN THE UNIVERSE! And there are a LOT of people like that out there. I always wonder (and yell out loud, in the car, sometimes) “Is this what your Mama taught you? That you are more important than A N Y O N E E L S E I N T H E W O R L D ?????
Thanks for the laugh. Now I better go find a quiet spot and meditate. 🙂
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hahaha Awesome, I’m not the only ONE! ❤
Diana xo
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Brilliant, Diana! Must have felt good writing this! 🙂
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You know it Kelly! 😉 ❤
Diana xo
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Talk about a univeral issue. Nailed it.
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(smiling) Thanks Lisa! ❤
Diana xo
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HAHAHAHAHAHA! I started a post last week about me being a horrible person when I’m alone in the car. 🙂 This made me laugh.
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So I’m not alone Colleen, that’s great! 😉 ❤
Diana xo
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😉
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Recently I put a couple of stickers on my car promoting my book and my website which clearly shows my “name!” It occurred to me the other day I need to be very careful what I do on the roads and how I react to other drivers. Maybe that’s an option for you Diana, if everyone knew who was driving in front of them, we may just care a little more about our hand signals and yelling ha! 🙂
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That’s a very interesting point Karen, I think you may be right! ❤
Diana xo
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“What’s your biggest traffic pet peeve?”
Other drivers. Definitely other drivers. Driving would be fine and fun if not for other drivers!
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haha hello Smitty!! Yes, the few times I’ve driven in the very early hours of the morning are great – I love it! ❤
Diana xo
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I bet the language would have been a bit blue in your car that day Diana. I think that driver has a clone because he seems to be on every highway and byway I drive on too.
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haha notice the blue font and capital letters I used at the end Kath? hehehe ❤
Diana xo
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Easy, Diana. Your rant could go in forever if you let it. The topic is the proverbial “taking candy from a baby.” You can be sure, this has always been a problem. It’s only become worse with cell phones, faster cars, damaged and poorly maintained roads and bridges and more drivers. An awful set of factors for my very long daily Bay Area commute. I empathize with you. I know exactly what you are talking about. It’s a battle out there. Every single time. I used to be generous about it – “on their way to the hospital,” etc. That’s harder for me on some days, these days. From over here: https://brucekthiesen.wordpress.com/2014/09/27/something-to-believe-in/
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so true Bruce! Thanks for stopping by! ❤
Diana xo
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I always warned my kids when they were learning to drive: “Scientific data show that the average person’s IQ drops 10 points when they get behind the wheel.”
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That’s a scary thing Jim! ❤
Diana xo
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too funny; cause its true.
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It’s true almost every morning Rick! I’ve calmed down a lot, now I just do a normal-voice commentary, “hey, my pleasure,” when someone cuts me off, etc.
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🙂 That’s the herbal tea kicking in?
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I’m a coffee drinker all the way Bruce!
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