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200 words, courage, Dad, daughters, death, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, family, Fear, grief, growing up, life, Life's like that, living, loss, love, memories, parents, Relationships, Stuff my parents used to say and do
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. – C. S. Lewis
Sometimes when Dad tucked me in at night when I was a little girl, we’d have a heart-to-heart.
Once, maybe more than once, I’d tell him I didn’t want to go to sleep because what if I woke up and he was gone, or worse was in an accident and died.
I just couldn’t imagine life without him. The thought made my heart feel like it would pound out of my chest.
Dad would tell me he wasn’t going anywhere; he wasn’t going to die.
“You promise, Daddy?”
“I promise.”
Dad has always been my Plan B, even when I moved across the country. I knew that if I couldn’t figure something out, or if I was in trouble, Dad would make it right.
Even though I did not resort to Plan B much, I knew it was there and knowing it, gave me courage.
It has been eight weeks and two days since Dad passed away. And although I’m not a little girl anymore, some mornings I feel like my heart will pound out of my chest.
~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~
dodgysurfer said:
I hadn’t realised just how recently you lost him. I now know what one of your comments was about.
Reading your post brought tears to my eyes as it hit so many emotions and thoughts that resonate with me.
There’s little I can say of comfort, and so many have said much so well in that regard already, but while the loss seems so great, the memories of what he was to you will live forever and never fade, while your strength in coping with the loss will increase and the pain that is so keen now will eventually fade and be replaced with reverence and gratitude for what you shared with and learned from him. That will outweigh the grief in time.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you so much for your thoughtful and encouraging words dodgysurfer. I was daddy’s little girl. I remember watching him shave when I was a little girl and thinking what an amazing man he is! ❤
Diana xo
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dodgysurfer said:
That love shines through your words.
I lost my dad just over four years ago and this struck many chords with me. It does get better in time I promise you.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you.
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Jean said:
It doesn’t go away completely.
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dianasschwenk said:
I’m beginning to understand that Jean. ❤
Diana xo
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Travel Spirit said:
I was just talking about this with my husband whose father passed in 2010 and his mother in 2001 (mine passed in 2006 and 2011) and how in addition to the love you feel for them, they represented a security net. A few weeks ago, 4 years after my mother passed, I was driving near where she used to live and I had a strong feeling to stop by and see her. Had to remind myself she wasn’t there…made me cry. Sending peace to you Diana!
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dianasschwenk said:
Oh my gosh, hugs to you…so it never really leaves you. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your story here. ❤
Diana xo
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Travel Spirit said:
I hope that came out the way I intended…it does leave sometimes for long periods, but then bam, you feel it. Hugs to you!!
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Vicki Flaherty said:
sweet! that 2016 love is showing!
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you Vicki. ❤
Diana xo
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Patty B said:
Diane its been 40 yrs since my dad died when I was much too young to lose a dad, and my heart still skips a beat when I think of him. Hugs for your grieving heart.
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dianasschwenk said:
Hugs back to you Patty. ❤
Diana xo
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Minuscule Moments said:
Diana I hope you find comfort in the fact you had an amazing Dad by the sounds of it. My Dad was my world as a little girl too. I know it has not been long but hope as the days past it gets better for you. xxxx
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dianasschwenk said:
Aww thank you Kath. ❤
Diana xo
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Eric Alagan said:
How so beautifully you’ve expressed a daughter’s love and attachment to her father, Diana.
You will always be his little darling and he will always be your daddy – just as my three lovelies are for me.
All good blessings,
Eric
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Eric. Your three lovelies are lucky to have you. ❤
Diana xo
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George said:
Beautifully expressed, Diana, especially your final line. The pain does heal in time, but the hole always remains.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks for your encouraging words George. ❤
Diana xo
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Pingback: A Look Back, A Look Ahead | Jennifer's Journal
dianasschwenk said:
Thanks for the link back to my post Jennifer. ❤
Diana xo
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theeditorsjournal said:
You poor thing. There is no cure but time. Susan Burford is spot on. Thinking of you.
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dianasschwenk said:
thanks so much editor. ❤
Diana xo
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Rob Moses Photography said:
Sorry about your dad, that’s gotta be tuff.
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dianasschwenk said:
Yeah, I was daddy’s lil girl. Thanks Rob. ❤
Diana xo
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Wyrd Smythe said:
Me, too. After a many years long decline into Alzheimer’s, my dad passed away on January 2nd. If there’s a heaven, he made the grade easily and is with my mom now.
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dianasschwenk said:
Oh Smitty, two days ago? I have no doubt he made the grade. Hugs for you and you’re in my thoughts and prayers. ❤
Diana xoxo
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Jennifer Kelland Perry said:
Diana, you remind me how my own father was always there for me. My plan B, so to speak. A number of times after I left home, I had to call on him for help when my life was in turmoil, and he never let me down.
Then one day he was no longer there, and I’ve carried him in my heart ever since. You will never completely get over it but the pain will ease. Hugs. xx
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you so much for your support Jennifer. ❤
Diana xo
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Deb Weyrich-Cody said:
Oh Diana, I am – we are – with you here, now, always…
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you so much Deb. ❤
Diana xo
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jmgoyder said:
Oh I am so so sorry Diana. What a beautiful heart you have. Sending you a huge hug.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Julie. ❤
Diana xo
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elizabeth2560 said:
Hugs to you Diana. In these quiet days after Christmas, those gone before us are truly missed.
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dianasschwenk said:
Yes. It’s so true Elizabeth – thanks for the hug! <2
Diana xo
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Healing Grief said:
A heartfelt post Diana. Sending a big hug and love to you as you pass through these difficult months.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you Karen. ❤
Diana xo
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joannerambling said:
I can’t imagine the pain of losing a parent,
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dianasschwenk said:
It’s very heartbreaking Jo-Anne. I hope you don’t experience for many years yet. ❤
Diana xo
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russtowne said:
Your post brought tears to my eyes, Diana. Your last sentence echoes with special power. I experienced some of your love, pain, and spirit, when reading this post. Thank you for sharing what you’re feeling and and why. My thoughts are with you, dear friend.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you for your kindness and generosity of spirit Russ. ❤
Diana xo
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Chatter Master said:
I love Ann’s quote.
Your heart is getting an incredible workout. I understand that beat. And I send you warmth and comfort as best I can, to try and contain that beating heart while it drums out its symphony.
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dianasschwenk said:
So poetic and beautifully stated Colleen, thank you. ❤
Diana xo
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earthriderjudyberman said:
It’s hard knowing that the one you loved and relied on the most is not physically present in your life. But, Diana, he remains present in your heart and mind. That has to be comforting. That has been for me since my rock – my Dad – passed in 2011. ❤
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you Judy. I bet your Dad is so proud of you and the woman you became. ❤
Diana xo
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earthriderjudyberman said:
I suspect he is. 😉
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Graham in Hats said:
Try to remember what a treasure and a comfort you were for him too. It might help a little.
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dianasschwenk said:
What a beautiful thing to say Graham – thank you. ❤
Diana xo
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Graham in Hats said:
🙂
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vanbytheriver said:
What you feel now is a testament to the strength of that love. Cherish that, Diana. Big hugs to you. It will get better, but you’ll never forget. 💔 And that’s exactly how it should be.
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dianasschwenk said:
I do cherish it, thank you Van. ❤
Diana xo
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vanbytheriver said:
💝
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Susan Burford said:
Dear Di Di,
I wish I could wrap you in an enormous hug that blocks all of that pain. But the truth is only time will make your heart stop pounding out of your chest. Time will make it less painful, but it never does go away. That pain reminds us of how deeply we loved them. I’m going to stop now but know that I am thinking of you and love you with all my heart.
Love, Sue
Sent from my iPad
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you Sue, your beautiful words touch me deeply. Love you my friend. ❤
Diana xo
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utesmile said:
I keep thinking your dad knows how much you love him and how much you miss him. Talk to him in heaven. He is still close to your heart!
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Ute – that means a lot! ❤
Diana xo
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Ann Koplow said:
I understand, Diana. I had a wonderful relationship with my father and I still miss him, years after his passing. I wonder of this phrase will help you: “The pain of the loss is in direct proportion to the importance of the connection.” Thinking of you during this difficult time. ❤
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dianasschwenk said:
Yes. Thank you so much Ann. ❤
Diana xo
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vanbytheriver said:
I so agree with Ann’s thoughts here. 💕
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cyclingrandma said:
What a powerful last line. We’ve been blessed with the longevity of our parents. My deepest condolences on your loss and hopes and love for your healing.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you so very much Lisa. ❤
Diana xo
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