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200 words, building community, collaboration, common ground, common sense, compassion, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, enemy, Fear, friend, health, integrity, love, peace, war, working together
Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? – Abe Lincoln
How To Destroy Your Enemies
- You could dig up dirt on them and leak it to the public
- You could study them to determine their weaknesses and chip away at them until they break under the pressure
- You could study them to determine what/who they love and cut them off from it/them
- You could gather data to prove that they are wrong about something and discredit them
- You could bear false witness against them, thereby inviting the unjustified wrath of others
- You could harm them in some way and render them useless
- Or you could enter into a conversation with them to find out what you have in common and take it from there…
Often when disagreements surface, we feel we must clobber down those who work against us and their ideas.
We’re afraid if we don’t, we won’t get our way.
We want to win.
If we really want to win, we should start where we agree and work forward from there. And if we’re really lucky, the end result will be better than either side could have imagined alone.
~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~
talktodiana 
I think it depends whether you are speaking about someone who you have had a disagreement with and you both want to make amends, or someone where negotiation is simply not an option.
For the former, I agree that we should find the common ground and begin moving forward from there.
For the latter, I believe that focussing on oneself and one’s own values (and letting go any thoughts of revenge) is the best option to being able to move forward.
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I don’t have enemies, I may have people I don’t choose to hang with and I tell my children they should wish their enemies well. Everybody has a reason for being the way they are.
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True dat Kath. ❤
Diana xo
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Diana,
Great message that cooperation can accomplish good things.
There’s more to be gained in turning one’s cheek than an eye for an eye.
-Alan
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Yes Alan! What is it Ghandi said? An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind? ❤
Diana xo
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Amen to that.
-Alanhttps://widgets.wp.com/notifications/2091058627#
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Yes! Death To Those Who Disagree!
Wait… Did I miss the point of the post, there? ❓
All seriousness aside, yes, it’s always better to try to find common ground. What happens when there isn’t any? What happens when two sides are fundamentally opposed? That’s when things get really challenging!
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or you just walk away like others have said here, depending on what it is, I guess…
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That’s about the only sensible thing you can do sometimes… if it’s possible. It gets tricky when one side think the other side is Doing Something Wrong and Must Be Stopped.
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then they need to be eliminated haha 😉
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Cooler heads, yes, Diana. If everybody would agree to listen as well as talk. 🙂
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Ain’t that the truth Mark, it’s particularly hard for me at times when I’m really passionate about something! ❤
Diana xo
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You? Passionate about something to the extreme of VOLUME in discussions? Oh, yes, I can imagine that, Schwenkie. ❤
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It can be down-right scary, or so I’ve been told… 😀 I’ve gotten better with age.
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Thank goodness for accumulated wisdom, Diana. 🙂
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Another great quote, Diana. Common ground is great soil to grow grace in. It has saved a few relationships of mine.
Blessings & hugs ~ Wendy
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Common ground is great soil to grow grace in. — Great sentence Wendy! I know what you mean. Usually at first I may even feel a bit annoyed but when the grace happens, it feels great! ❤
Diana xo
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Great awareness on choice, letting go of ego and finding common ground. Its there for everyone of us!
xo
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Thanks Val and it’s so ‘up your alley!’ ❤
Diana xo
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I have such a grrrr thing against one of my in-laws – this post is timely and brilliant and reminds me that kindness is always the key. You are a wonderful mentor, Diana x
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Thanks for your kind and generous comment Julie. ❤
Diana xo
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I definitely appreciate and admire Abe’s way better Diana. Great post.
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Thanks Colleen! ❤
Diana xo
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So true Diana that we always have a choice. Making the right one, allows us to all feel connected. 🙂
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Yes, I guess we always have a choice Karen, that’s so true. ❤
Diana xo
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Yes it is great when we are able to get to know someone who doesn’t like us so hopefully we can find some common ground to connect on but it doesn’t always work out that way when that happens accept you don’t like each other and then just move on with your life and not stress over it, if you can’t change it after giving it your best shot then you need to be able to let it go
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Agreed Jo-Anne – thank you for weighing in! ❤
Diana xo
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Abe had it right, Diana, and so did you. Your posts are always inspired. Thank you for that. ☺ Hugs.
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You’re welcome Van, thank you for your kind and generous comment! ❤
Diana xo
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Wisdom. Thank you for sharing it, Diana! I too love the photo of you enjoying life, living, and family. May it always be so.
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Thanks Russ, may it (enjoying life) also visit future generations long after we’re gone. 🙂
Diana xo
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Great post, amd I adore the pictures you used!
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Thanks so much Joy! ❤
Diana xo
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Quite so. Where possible, it is more effective to love the victim than to hate the perpetrator. 🙂
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A wonderful perspective Graham. Thank you. ❤
Diana xo
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A good post/subject. 🙂
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Thanks! 😀
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Wise advice– wish world leaders and political candidates would take notice!
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Thanks Lisa. Although that would be awesome, we tend to view leaders as ‘not strong’ when they do just that. It’s quite a conundrum… ❤
Diana xo
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I was thinking the same thing – particularly with the imminent Canadian election… On “strong” leadership… Yes, a good leader must know the ins and outs of the business – whatever that might be – but is there not more strength in numbers; in working together, with all members to buttress the whole; many minds, with focussed thought? Then, if this were indeed the case, wouldn’t the leader’s job be to make the best use of individual team member’s skills, not simply demanding obeisance?
Love the quote from Abraham Lincoln: a perfect example of “Love thy neighbour as thyself”: )
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I agree Deb. People are funny creatures though… 😉
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I feel better just for having read this – thank you. It reminds me of the foundation of the book Crucial Conversations which is that understanding the mutual of the two parties first will go a long way toward finding a good solution. Well done!
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Thanks so much Ian! ❤
Diana xo
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Of these, I don’t think #3 applies just to enemies. It also applies to friends. It’s called an intervention.
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If it’s done in love, right Don? It all comes down to motive, doesn’t it?
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Yes.
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Diana … I prefer to find a common bond and build a bridge. That is not always possible. A few times, however, ideas were so entrenched that they were not receptive to building a friendship. To those few people, I have decided to “let it go and shake it off.” I do not talk against them. I wish them no ill. It’s just healthier for me to move on.
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I’ve been there too Judy. 🙂
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Beautifully written, Diana, and full of the wisdom and heart that defines you. Thank you for sharing such an uplifting and important message today. (And I love your photo in the sidebar up there!)
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Thanks so much Kelly! Said photo was taken on my recent trip back east to visit family. ❤
Diana xo
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It captures your spirit well! 🙂
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