Tags
Alberta, alone, Calgary, Canada, compassion, Diana Schwenk, falling, Homelessness, Hump Day Chronicles, invisible, memories, world issues
I was totally stumped. No idea what I was going to write today. That is until I read Jim McKeever’s post over at Irish Investigations where he wrote about the hidden camera test of kindness video that’s been making the rounds. In a nutshell, a videographer compared peoples’ reactions to a man in a suit on crutches falling and a homeless man on crutches falling.
To read Jim’s post click here.
Jim’s post reminded me of something that once happened to me.
Years ago, on a cold winter day I parked my car at Hotel d’Arts where the homeless organization I was working for had secured parking spots for staff.
Man it was cold that day. I don’t remember how cold but it might as well have been -100 for how quickly my exposed skin started to freeze the minute I stepped out of the car.
I rushed down Centre Street toward the 12th Avenue intersection, passing men who were standing on ‘cash corner’ and waiting for anyone who might have a day’s work for them. Most of these men were homeless or at the very least, living way below the poverty line. I probably knew some of them, but I was too focused on walking the two blocks to work as fast as I could to notice.
Shivering from the cold, I waited for the light to change. As I crossed Centre Street, I slipped on the ice and came crashing down on the road.
I must have hit my head because I felt dizzy and nauseous. I couldn’t get up or even call out for help. I looked at the men on cash corner, my eyes pleading for help, and not one person moved to help me.
I remember thinking about what would happen when the light turned red. Panic set in so I crawled on my stomach like soldiers do in basic training to get under that net to the next obstacle in their exercise. I crawled/dragged myself to the other side of the street to the building that stands there. I pulled myself into a standing position using the building as support and waited there until my head stopped swimming. Then I walked to work.
I was not angry that day. More confounded, I think. Surprised that no one helped me.
In retrospect, it was almost like I just accepted that no one helped. I imagine most homeless folks have felt this way at one time or another. This is what it must be like to feel invisible.
~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~
Having asked several people over the years what the hardest part about being homeless is, most answered along these lines: It’s not when people look at you as if you’re disgusting, it’s when people look right through you as if you’re invisible. Have you ever felt invisible?
Minuscule Moments said:
Diana thats sad that no one helped you, but I am sure everyone of us has a memory of feeling alone and neglected. How good does it feel when someone actually does help? Pretty special.
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dianasschwenk said:
yes it sure does Kath! ❤
Diana xo
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dianasschwenk said:
Dearest Judy, thank you so much for the link back to my post. Off to read your post now! ❤
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Wyrd Smythe said:
Ha! I’m reminded of the time I “acted” in a classmate’s student film. I played the role of a guy who got shot by a sniper. During the filming of the long shot (the camera and crew halfway down the block), I was laying “dead” on the side of the street, and a couple of people stopped their cars to ask (out their window) if I was okay.
“Yes, thanks, I’m fine. We’re shooting a movie, and you’re in camera frame, so thanks again, but please keep driving!” (It being Los Angeles, people were, “Oh, yeah, sure, no problem. Good luck!”)
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dianasschwenk said:
That’s hilarious Smitty! ❤
Diana xo
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Wyrd Smythe said:
To your last question: yes, frequently. Once people at work decide you’re “problematical” many of them just vanish you from their perception.
Regarding the hidden camera thing, I like to think I’d laugh at the suit and help the other to his feet, but the reality is I’d probably help both. It’s just what you’re supposed to do, isn’t it?
On a side note, in these litigious times, people may fear legal trouble if they try to help and somehow get blamed for injuries. Things like that have happened, and it can create a fear of getting involved. (I was told once that if I call an ambulance for someone, the bill goes — at least initially — to me.)
But then, how much trouble can you cause just helping someone to their feet? I think it’s astonishing that no one would help a woman who fell on the ice in the street! That’s just… dishonorable.
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dianasschwenk said:
Yes it’s true you can get into trouble for helping. People do sue. But I’d like to think that I would still help Smitty and I think you would as well. ❤
Diana xo
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Wyrd Smythe said:
Yeah… “being of service” seems part of my DNA. I think it comes from all the preachers and teachers in my family tree. (I actually have some regrets that I never had the honor to serve in the military.)
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dianasschwenk said:
Now why am I not surprised? 😀
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Jean said:
As a child, I (and other siblings) had to translate for our mother who speaks only Chinese. A child learns rapidly lessons of invisiblity ….and how to defend/speak up on behalf for others. Situations that happen with immigrant, non-English speaking parents when using services.
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dianasschwenk said:
Wow, a poignant point Jean. Would love to read a post about this!
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Jean said:
It never occurred to me….. Would require plumbing deep back into history and memories.
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dianasschwenk said:
I think it would make a good story and shine a light on what it is like for families who adopt Canada as their new home.
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Jean said:
That certainly is a dangerous and awful experience, Diana. Hope someone will notice and help next time to help if it should ever happen again.
Several pedestrians did stop by when I was knocked off my bike by another cyclist in Vancouver earlier this year on a bike path. I sustained a head injury which I’m still recovering. I was transported by ambulance…after my partner asked one of these folks to call 911.
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dianasschwenk said:
So glad you partner was there and that passersby stopped to check on you Jean. ❤
Diana xo
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Don said:
Thanks for the story of your experience, Diana. It’s so tragic. How is it that people can be so caught up not to offer help. While I read your words I kind of pictured the whole thing. So sad. But as you say when you experience something like that you really begin to grasp and understand something of the experience of others. Perhaps that’s the redeeming factor in your story.
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dianasschwenk said:
Yes, that the redeeming factor for me Don – thank you! ❤
Diana xo
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reachingjoythree said:
This prompt touched me very much. Thank you for all the writing you share with us, Diana. I’m sure you’ve been nominated countless times, but I’ve nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award (reachingjoythree.wordpress.com). I appreciate all you do, and I know others do, too!
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dianasschwenk said:
Oh my. I am honoured and humbled – it means a lot to me. I hope you will understand when I say that I don’t do nominations. it’s not because I don’t appreciate the hundreds of posts out there, because I do! In lieu of awards, I started Friday Pick so that once a week I can select and share a post I enjoyed and feature it and its author. Thank you for making my day. ❤
Diana xo
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rachelcarrera said:
Unfortunately, I’ve felt invisible too many times to count. *sigh*
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dianasschwenk said:
*hugs* sorry to hear that Rachel. ❤
Diana xo
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rachelcarrera said:
Thank you! ❤
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earthriderjudyberman said:
A powerful story from both Jim McKeever and you, Diana. I’m troubled by those who try to manipulate people thru the public shaming. They say their intent is to increase awareness. I think there’s better ways to accomplish that. Like you, I might post a story based on both of your stories and link to them. Thanks for sharing your experience.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks so much Judy, my pleasure! ❤
Diana xo
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markbialczak said:
I wonder if they didn’t want to lose one potential money grab at cash corner that frigid day, Diana? It is most puzzling to me that nobody came to give you a hand from your fall. You’d look like a tip-in-the-making to a homeless person, but perhaps they knew that you worked with the organization to help the homeless and would not give money? So much could be read into your situation. In any case, I’m glad you pulled yourself out of danger and were not hurt worse than you were.
I have not felt invisibile, but I have been made to feel insignificant by some people at some times. One or two steps above invisible.
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dianasschwenk said:
Mark, I don’t know what the reason was but I learned something important because no one came to my aid. Just to be clear (because I wasn’t in my post) There were also business people around who also didn’t help me.
Also, anyone who would insinuate that you are insignificant doesn’t have a clue in the closet! ❤
Diana xo
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earthriderjudyberman said:
I can relate to Mark’s feelings. But I agree with you, Diana. Those who try to make anyone feel insignificant or unworthy really have security/ego issues of their own.
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markbialczak said:
Even business people didn’t help you. That day was very odd, Diana, indeed. So puzzling.
And in my case, I repeated to myself, it’s not me, it’s them.
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dianasschwenk said:
Yeah, it was like, “…you are now entering the Twilight Zone…”
I’m glad you came out the other side realizing it wasn’t about you Mark.
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bulldog said:
I read somewhere, that woman are normally given an helping hand when in need (i.e. your fall) …. but men not so… interesting that not one came to your aid when it was obvious you needed it… hell if I was homeless I’d help just in the hope of getting a hand out…
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dianasschwenk said:
It was surreal for sure bulldog. Who knows why people do or do not do what they do. ❤
Diana xo
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jmgoyder said:
I am astounded that nobody helped you!
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dianasschwenk said:
So was I Julie! 🙂
Diana xo
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Chatter Master said:
I haven’t gotten to Jim’s blog yet, but I’ve seen that video before. I cannot imagine standing by while another person falls and just stand there looking. I can’t imagine it. It’s not that any of the people in that video, or that you, were invisible. People made choices to ignore. That’s even worse.
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dianasschwenk said:
You have a good heart Colleen. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen people just step over a homeless person and continue on their way. ❤
Diana xo
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Chatter Master said:
I know we can’t stop in our steps every single time and change every single situation. But we can acknowledge. We can speak. When we see someone fall we can ask if they are okay or need help. They might ignore us too, or refuse an extended hand. Oh geez. We are so imperfect, aren’t we?
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cyclingrandma said:
Very true about the homeless and so sad. Now with the cold weather, there are more people around, especially at the transit stations– and it’s every easy to ignore them. Yet many refuse help when offered too. All around, a crime that this exists in countries like the US and Canada.
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dianasschwenk said:
It does seem criminal Lisa. I wonder why some refuse help. Could it be that sometimes it’s offered with too many conditions? ❤
Diana xo
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Jennifer's Journal said:
Oh Diana, what a troubling experience; you would think someone would have assisted you. Invisibility is epidemic in our society, it seems.
You remind me of what I read somewhere yesterday, but the opposite. It was about a woman who had a car crash, and she wasn’t badly hurt, but she was overwhelmed when she looked in the rearview mirror to see something heartwarming: all the people running toward her and to her aid.
Jennifer ❤
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dianasschwenk said:
That is so heartwarming Jennifer! Could you imagine what that would feel like? I think I would be overwhelmed too. ❤
Diana xo
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Jim McKeever said:
Diana, that must have been very discouraging (as well as painful) to have none of the “spectators” come to your aid. It’s sadly ironic, too, given the work you’ve done.
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dianasschwenk said:
ha Jim, yes! The irony did not escape my attention. Yet as I replied in another comment. It’s as if I got a lesson in invisibility that I would understand. ❤
Diana xo
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joannerambling said:
Why or why are we afraid of the homeless, what is it about them that scares most of us silly, myself included just thought I would throw that in there…………..
I have had falls in the past and think I will have more in the future and I can tell you most of the time when I have fallen over it has been young people who come to my aid, while older people either just watch or act like they didn’t see me.
We act like we don’t see the homeless because we are afraid of them
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks for your perspective on this Jo-Anne and for sharing my post on Twitter. ❤
Diana xo
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Dennis Fischman said:
I heard from Muslim friends earlier today that they were feeling invisible because the mainstream media had not picked up on the shootings in North Carolina. By now, I think that’s all over the media–but for several hours, they felt like you did.
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dianasschwenk said:
It’s not a fun feeling, that’s for sure Dennis. 🙂
Diana xo
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Val Boyko said:
What a powerful share Diana. I have never fallen or been in a position where I felt invisible or abandoned …. and it makes me sad to think of the pain it must cause.
This really brings attention to my own thinking from both the perspective of the fallen and the witness.
Thank you!
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you for your kind comment Val, your support and encouragement is a blessing to me. ❤
Diana xo
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Val Boyko said:
We inspire each other D!
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Alan A. Malizia: Contagious Optimism! Co-Author said:
Diana,
First let me say how sorry I am that you had to suffer such indifference.
Two thousand years ago there was a man who was lying in a road; also on His way to work. The name of that road was Via Delorosa. No one came to help Him either, except for one, Simon of Cyrene. And he was compelled by Roman soldiers to do so. It seems not much has changed over the centuries.
One peculiar thing about Simon, though. Initially he was forced to tend to that man, but in time those same soldiers had to tear Simon from His side.
If those who stood idly by, offering no help to you, had done so; perhaps they might have changed as Simon-and for the better.
-Alan
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dianasschwenk said:
True Alan.
I remember reading about a Bible College Conference once centering around the Good Samaritan. It was a tight schedule and students had to run from one room to the next and were warned not to be late.
The college hired an actor to be a homeless person who asked students for help as they ran by. Not one student helped him. They ended the conference by calling this into attention. It was an impactful experience for all of the students who were mortified by their own behavior. We’re all capable of it, I guess. ❤
Diana xo
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Healing Grief said:
This made me cry because it is our reality. People do not want to get involved with other people’s problems. The homeless deserve the same respect and love as anyone in this world, but Elizabeth is right, it happened to you and so it can happen to anyone, and when we make someone invisible, we make part of ourselves invisible too, and miss seeing the beauty and light that is in all of us! Thanks for sharing Diana 🙂
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dianasschwenk said:
A powerful statement Karen – thank you! ❤
Diana xo
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russtowne said:
Your post weighs heavily on my heart, Diana. I’m saddened you had to endure that experience, and feel sadder for those who ignored your plight, as they were so removed from the greatness of their own spirit they didn’t hear or were able to ignore the whispers from their heart. What a terribly lonely place that must be.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Russ. As I said, I wasn’t angry. I’m not sure why that is. It did help me understand that invisibility thing though, maybe making me more empathetic? ❤
Diana xo
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billgncs said:
we are all samaritans, or can be.
Sometimes as we get older, we become invisible too.
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dianasschwenk said:
You think it’s related to age, Bill? Interesting! ❤
Diana xo
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billgncs said:
I know it is.
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dianasschwenk said:
As in people care less about older people?
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elizabeth2560 said:
I have fallen over before when no-one helped me up despite being dressed respectively for work and despite lots of people near-by; and another time when I was shown kindness when I looked a mess. So sometimes I don’t think it is how we look, it is just how the people at the time respond.
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dianasschwenk said:
You might have something there Elizabeth! ❤
Diana xo
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