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caring, Diana Schwenk, excuse me, growing up, happy, I'm sorry, integrity, kindness, life, peace, please, Relationships, thank you
When I was growing up my parents stressed the importance of saying I’m sorry, Excuse me, Please and Thank You.
And by stressed, I mean enforced it to the point that it became a natural part of who I am.
The other day, while on shift at my second job, my co-worker remarked, “Diana, people really warm up to you, you’re so polite!”
I’ve experienced similar comments over the years.
You say thank you a lot! You were so polite with that server! That person totally relaxed their shoulders when you apologized!
This catches me somewhat off guard. When did being polite become the exception to the rule? When did saying thank you or please or excuse me or I’m sorry become something that stands out from the norm?
I spend a lot of time writing about saying thank you and being grateful here and at The Other Bottom Line. Even in my professional life it is a point I find myself stressing over and over!
Good job Mom – the lesson stuck!
Have we become so busy that there is no time to be polite? Do we really need reminders about minding our Ps and Qs? Why does it surprise people when they encounter good manners?
Yesterday as I was leaving Kalamata, not the city, the store, I came face-to-face with a man through the glass door.
I stopped in my tracks.
The gentleman grabbed the handle and pulled the door open for me.
I said, I’m sorry – thank you!
And he responded with ‘No worries, my pleasure.’
Much to my surprise, his kind gesture and polite demeanour stood out to me as different from the norm.
~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~
talktodiana 
Love this!
1st thought. Politeness and gratitude seem to be first cousins. Politeness is externally directed while gratitude is for ourselves.
2nd thought. It’s us Canadians! If there are 50 people in a room how do you find the Canadian? Answer: step on everyone’s foot. The one that apologizes to YOU is the Canadian!
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ha! That is so funny because it’s true Ian!
Diana xo
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I was brought the same way and continue with this to this day; although sometimes I think I may go overboard with the ‘I am sorry’ bit as I sometimes say it for things that I could not prevent or were not my fault.
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My daughter says I do that Elizabeth! But I tell her that I know it’s not my fault but I’m still sorry that a certain situation had to happen or that she is going through something difficult. I looked up the word and it seems I use it correctly in that case. See below! ❤
Diana xo
adjective:
1. feeling distress, especially through sympathy with someone else's misfortune.
"I was sorry to hear about what happened to you.
•full of pity, sympathetic, compassionate, moved, consoling, empathetic, concerned
"he felt sorry for her"
•feeling regret or penitence.
"he said he was sorry he had upset me"
synonyms: regretful, remorseful, contrite, repentant, rueful, penitent, apologetic, abject, guilty, ashamed, sheepish, shamefaced
"I'm sorry if I was brusque"
•used as an expression of apology.
exclamation: sorry
"sorry—I was trying not to make a noise"
•used as a polite request that someone should repeat something that one has failed to hear or understand.
"Sorry? In case I what?"
2. in a poor or pitiful state or condition.
"he looks a sorry sight with his broken jaw"
synonyms: pitiful, pitiable, heart-rending, distressing;
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Great clarification of the different meanings.
Thanks! 🙂
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My parents also instilled good manners in me. I do remember my manners and am often shocked when others are not. If we all treated each other politely and respectfully, what a wonderful world it would be.
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I was blown out of the water the first time I experienced southern hospitality. I was at a hotel in Atlanta and the staff kept approaching me to see how I was. At first I was creeped out about it but I soon learned that they were quite serious about their customer service. I spoke to one person about it at length and they were telling me, when I asked what they would do if someone did a reference check on a bad employee, that they would just say I don’t really know him/her that well instead of saying anything bad!
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I was taught good manners and I taught it to my children, it should be normal to say please and thank you. Sometimes in our busy world… no I am not making excuses people forget and that is a shame. In my school when the children barge into my office I always politely remind hem of the “magic word” . It is so important and makes a big difference in the world!
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It does make a difference Ute – thank you! ❤
Diana xo
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I always do the please, thank you, I’m sorry, yes sir and no ma’am thing. And I’m usually one of the only people I know who do! 😦 Oddly, it’s such a natural thing for me that it’s often awkward, such as I turn a corner in a store and someone else it turning my way, and I say I’m sorry, when I didn’t actually do anything wrong and neither did they! LOL! (Perhaps I ought to learn excuse me a little better.) 😉 Great post! ❤
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You know what Rachel? That’s a very Canadian thing to do…I know you have spent some time in Ontario, perhaps it rubbed off on you?
Where we say sorry, Americans usually say excuse me or pardon me… ❤
Diana xo
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That’s funny you say that, because my BFF in Ontario ALWAYS apologizes — for everyone! I get bad service at a restaurant and SHE says sorry! (She didn’t cook or serve it!) It cracks me up! 😀
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Hi Diana! Though time seems to be in short supply for everyone, it can’t be used as an excuse for a lack of (or just plain bad) manners… Did you know that the Golden Rule is a Global Standard which appears in religious texts around the world?
(There’s no such thing as being too considerate; )
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I had heard that Deb, thank you for sharing it here! ❤
Diana xo
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I am also one of those people who says thank you a lot and will say sorry if I was wrong hell I have even said sorry when I didn’t think I was wrong but wanted to make the peace as I do not feel saying sorry in some cases is a big deal sometimes keeping the peace is more important to me. I think all parents should teach their children to say please and thank you and sorry often sorry gets forgotten but if a child learns from a young age to say sorry then as an adult it will come easier. Dr Phil (who annoys the hell out of me) says “do you want to be right or do you want to be happy” and in that regard he is right. I would rather be happy.
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Sometimes that Dr. Phil is right on the money Jo-Anne! 😀
Diana xo
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It was such a good lesson for getting on with others and in life. Thank you for sharing this Diana!
Val xo
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My pleasure Val. Thanks for dropping by! ❤
Diana xo
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I have taught the same good manners to my children, that I was given. Nothing is nicer than a polite child and Adult and you are definitely one of them Diana. So thankyou! Very nice post. 🙂 🙂
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Aww thank you Karen, back at ya! ❤
Diana xo
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Thank you for this reinforcement on the importance of thank you. Please remind the world again about how saying please should be second nature. Excuse me if I repeat myself about how everybody should say excuse me if they get in the way of others.
You’re a peach, Diana. Your parents DID do a great job, my friend. 🙂
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haha ok..Please excuse my repetition but everyone should say please and thank you. Sorry if I’m belaboring this point Mark. ❤
Diana xo
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Oh, no, I was agreeing with you so much I had to repeat the magic words twice each, Diana, please and thank you. ❤
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Diana,
You are so right; good manners and politeness are the rule and should not be considered the exception. I believe they can be found etched on two very old stone tablets.
-Alan
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Thanks Alan, you are so right!
Diana xo
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Depressing how far we’ve fallen in the politeness-rudeness scale. I wonder if all that snarky dialog on the TV machine hasn’t had some affect. It’s possible that text messaging has led us down a bad path as well. As far back as the 1980s there were references to “the new cruelty” as a social mode.
There’s a great quote about how politeness is the “grease” that allows the wheels of society to turn smoothly. It’s a stone you can drop and spread ripples. A kind word often gets passed on to others… so does a rudeness.
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So very true Smitty. I do think it gets passed on as you say. ❤
Diana xo
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Smiles and frowns are often contagious! 🙂
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I was raised the same way. It is as natural as breathing. For me I notice the lack of manners.
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What a great way to put it SHO – as natural as breathing! ❤
Diana xo
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Did we have the same parents? 😉 I remember we couldn’t leave the dinner table without saying excuse me and thank you. It became a reflex like saying bless you to a sneeze. The world would be so refreshing if only folks practised more good manners.
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It was our parents’ generation who were so diligent about it Jennifer. ❤
Diana xo
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It is appalling sometimes how basic manners have been eclipsed by uncivilness. Sometimes I wonder who peoples’ parents were. I remember my mother chiding a friend of mine (much to my deep embarrassment! ) that when she called instead of merely saying, “is Lisa there?” to say, “Hello, Mrs. Klein, may I please speak to Lisa?” Of course, now w/ cell phones and texting, there’s no need for kids to meet their friends parents, much less interact with them on the telephone!
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It’s so true Lisa! Texting and short forms of words and dropping a bunch of words to be brief are the norm for today.
Diana xo
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