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200 words, believe, courage, Diana Schwenk, Diana's Enormous Book of Quotes, dreams, holding on, ideas, passion, Purpose, Relationships, vision
Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. ~ unattributed
The above quote is most often used to talk about relationships.
The theory being, if you fear losing a relationship that’s important to you and over compensate by holding on too tightly, you will likely bring about the very thing you fear.
I have experienced this myself a few times in my life; sometimes as the smotherer and sometimes as the smothered. Neither role is a pretty one.
Could the same principle be true of dreams? Is it possible to hold on too tightly to your own ideas of how things should be and thereby smother the very thing you desire?
Crave Cupcakes is celebrating 10 years of being in business.
They started out making cookies and struggled with achieving any success.
They decided to make cupcakes using their grandmother’s vanilla cake recipe and their business took off. They paid off their debt within a year.
~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~
What if Crave had chosen to keep making cookies?
What do you hold onto too tightly?
talktodiana 
I had thought about the clinging-too-tight in respect of relationships before but not in respect to dreams. That is an interesting concept and one that requires a little bit of pondering on my behalf. you always come up with things to make me think.
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Thanks Elizabeth! I have been thinking about this idea for awhile. Mostly I’ve been influenced by other bloggers who have talked about things like ‘letting go of outcomes…’
My thinking sure is challenged in this online community!
Diana xo
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The world is such a complicated place… there are those who achieved their dreams only through clinging to them and never giving up. And there are those who achieved success only after turning to something new.
Ya just never know! XD
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True dat.
Diana xo
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Yup, hanging on too tightly at times. My partner tells to say it once and walk away.
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He’s German, right? I’m very familiar with that philosophy!
Diana xo
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😀 Ok, this is new to me Diana.
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I love this post Diana, and I LOVE Crave! Man, do I miss those delicious cupcakes. What a brilliant company and marketing strategy!
Yes, letting go is key for most things I think. Maybe it all has a lot to do with the level of trust we have for ourselves and others. I find that when I’m comfortable, trusting and happy I let things just go in to that space of flow. When I get uptight, distrusting and desperate I cling on harder almost like I don’t trust something better will come along so I’ll keep whatever it is I have; in doing that I probably miss out on many delicious cupcakes worth of ideas!
I think the grand goal of all of this is to let go of everything, to not need for anything. To know that even if we stood alone, vulnerable and without anything we’d still be enough and we’d end up okay.
If we adopted that strategy of trusting our own capabilities we’d have no reason to cling, we’d just allow resulting in oh so many more cupcakes to rise up!
~ Andrea ❤
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I am learning, Andrea, that letting go, although a sanity saver, is not exactly my forte!
Diana xo
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Know thyself, right? 😀
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Right! ❤
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Oh Man such words of wisdom…. if I hold on to anything too tightly it has to be my hope for business from clients I know are stringing me along and I keep returning too, even against the advise of my partners…. They say that time spent were you know there is no hope, is lost time at places where there might be business.. and sometimes these ops are lost because of that … I hate it when I’m at a golf course that I know needs my software, yet they fail to see the benefits…. to the extent that I’ve witnessed a course closure that could have benefited from my advise…. then I feel guilty and because of this I tend to hold on too tight…
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Aww what a heart you have bulldog!
Diana xo
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clicked “post” too quick….wanted to add that love can only thrive in absolute freedom. 🙂
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Yes. Like the saying, ‘if you love something, set it free. If it comes back it’s yours, if it doesn’t it never was… 😀
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Good one Diana! I think it’s a tough call….sometimes we need to hold on to what we believe, when it’s what rings with our heart….and other times we need to keep an open mind and choose differently than we planned. When it comes to relationships……love ca
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Thanks for chiming in Kristi – the trick is in knowing which way to go! ❤
Diana xo
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This is perfect, this reminder to think hard about plans that may not be working out, Diana. My interpretation of your wise quotes: Maybe reinvention is the wisest move, painful as it may be. Thank you, my friend. 🙂
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My pleasure Mark! In part I am writing to myself regarding my business. Funny how that works, eh?
Diana xo
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Hang in there and strategize wisely, Diana. I know you have what it takes, my friend. You are one smart person.
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❤ Thank you.
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Yes I do, well I think I do
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I think you’re a great mom!
Diana xo
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Diana I have been guilty of being the helicopter parent from time to time and hovering way to often over my babies. As time goes by I have learned to give my children space to learn and grow. Kath
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Kath I bet you’re a great mom!
But you’re right, most of us want to tighten the reins more as our children grow older. (Let’s face it, teens can get into more trouble than younger children)
Yet we want our teens to make their mistakes and learn from them while they’re still somewhat under our protection right? ❤
Diana xo
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Balance is the key I am learning in life Diana! How do I know? Well for me it’s always letting go ….becoming unattached to my dreams. First I vision what I need and I then hold the vision but I always let go of the how’s and when’s and that requires patience ha! This, I still work on😁. Thanks for a great post.
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Thanks Karen – me too! 🙂
Diana xo
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Me: worrying. I do it so well… and unnecessarily. I’m still working on loosening my grip in the worry reins. Your’s is a wise and thought-provoking post.
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We all fall into that worrying thing Eric. Glad you enjoyed the post! ❤
Diana xo
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Diana..great post and question. So many thoughtful comments- I think it’s safe to say that we all struggle and grapple with this question of knowing when to hold on and when to release the grip. Reminds me of the old Kenny Rogers song…something about knowing when to fold ’em. We want the proverbial it to work, to give it our best and isn’t it so easy to sometimes get a little lost along the way? This is one of those posts where it’d be so great to have our virtual coffee house be a little less virtual ;).
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Wouldn’t that be something Bonnie?!! ❤
Diana xo
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I have learned not to try and hold on to relationships that were toxic. It is very freeing and healthy in the long run.
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It’s a great lesson to learn for sure, Jennifer. ❤
Diana xo
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I absolutely love the thought behind this, and the example of Crave. They stayed within the field of good and retail but changed their product to succeed. I think the seed of the business, that which drove them to begin, remains. And thus so does the dream.
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The trick is knowing what to change, I suppose Ian?
Diana xo
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There is a book by Jim Collins called How The Mighty Fall. Step 1 is “hubris borne of success”. I truly think it starts there.
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Diana … There are times when I’ve had to let go or be consumed by negativity and/or rejection. In one recent instance, that reaction actually led to a better relationship. Sometimes, it’s healthier to just step away. But I don’t think I’m guilty of holding on too tightly to my dreams. If anything, I don’t pursue them and follow thru as I should.
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So true Judy, sometimes it’s best to walk away… I’m curious about your story that led to a better relationship!
Diana xo
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Details will have to remain sketchy. I felt that I was being treated as an outsider. I said something to a mutual friend about this and decided to step away from those that made me feel that way. Then, they began to include me. Odd. But I feel much better about the whole situation. 😉
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Oh wow, glad it worked out Judy!
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Diana, Such a great question…. I think holding on too tightly to anything in life brings struggle whether its people, things, our beliefs and dreams. Our body is a mirror of our mind. When we hold tight, we constrict. When we constrict we create tension. When we create tension we build resistance. And our life energy becomes blocked. We create dis-ease.
Letting go is the healthiest way to live …. and yep, its not easy that’s for sure 🙂
Val x
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Thanks for chiming in Val – love what you’ve said here! ❤
Diana xo
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Makes me wonder if perhaps I am holding on to this fight a little too tightly and maybe if I could let go and allow other people in to hold this with me, would that make it easier to hold on…
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You would definitely know better than me in this case Laura. You have taken some massively large steps in your fight in the last while. I’m so proud of you. ❤
Diana xo
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I have had to let my sister-in-law go because I was overly concerned for her and the daughter injured in Ming’s accident nearly a year ago. She wants nothing to do with me – so be it. Thank you for your ongoing wisdom, Diana xx
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Aww Julie, I’m so sorry to hear that. Is it still good between you and your brother?
Diana xo
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Sort of – she has influenced him I guess – so sad and horrible and unnecessary now all kids are fine – argh!
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Let’s hope that in this case, time heals all wounds. ❤
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