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courage, Diana Schwenk, Fear, focus, happy, health, jealousy, joy, obsessive, panic, passion, peace, positivity, Purpose, vengeful
… is that if you allow them to fester, you just make them stronger by continuously feeding them.
I’ve had my share of dealing with every one of the above mentioned thoughts and a whole slew of others over the years. And it is not fun!
It makes me feel anxious.
It lowers my energy level.
It can affect my sleep, cause me to eat too much or too little or opt for unhealthy food and the list goes on.
Many years ago I wanted something so bad. I obsessed about it every waking moment. I dreamt about it when I slept. Soon I couldn’t focus on anything else. It was like an addiction.
I knew I was in trouble so I tried not to think about it. The more I tried not to think about it, the more I thought about it. I was stuck in an unwanted and unhealthy thought loop.
I’ve had similar experiences when I’m afraid, or jealous, or scathingly angry with someone; I get stuck in a loop and the more I think about it, the less time I have for anything else.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been able to just flip a switch to turn off my thoughts, so I’ve learned some other techniques that seem to help.
- Do something about it. If there is anything within my power that I can do to make a situation right, I need to do it.
- Taking care of me. I may not be able to move beyond my thoughts right away, but I can take care of me by eating right, exercising, brushing my teeth, showering, social outings, etc.
- Focus on someone else. One thing all of the above thoughts have in common is they are all about me. So I can focus on others; I can invite them over for dinner, help them move to their new place, listen if they’re struggling, cheer them up, encourage them, bake cookies and bring them over for no reason, etc.
- Keep busy with projects. Clean out my closet, write that letter I’ve been meaning to write, do those things I’ve been putting off. Even at the best of times, these neglected projects nag at me. As I cross them off my list one by one, it is amazing how good it makes me feel. This good feeling begins to replace my negative thinking.
- Count my blessings. Yes, I know, it sounds cliché, but it really works! As I look at all I have; shelter, food, security and I think of, and pray for, and send warm thoughts to those I care about, my dark mood lifts.
- Wine and chocolate!
How do you get yourself out of negative thought loops?
~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~
talktodiana 
Some sage recommendations here. Glad I can tick off one or two from your list. Yes, the wine and chocolate. A no-brainer. Happy to keep that one in permanent rotation. 😉
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I like to put a piece of chocolate in my mouth and let it melt, then was it down with a nice Shiraz and repeat the process! 😉
Diana
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Very fine advice! Especially the chocolate. Thank you for the link/reblog. I am always most gratified when someone enjoys one of my sonnets.
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Thank you David and you’re very welcome!
Diana
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: )
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Wonderful tips!!! Attack…..retreat…..chocolate. Yes. 🙂
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Love your executive summary! 😉
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haha!
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Add ice cream to wine & chocolate and you’re all set.
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hmmm A Chocolate Wine Float!
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All great tips and I use them too when the anxiety grip isn’t too tight that I can’t think!
Meditation, bath with candle, hypnosis type podcasts…all good as well 🙂
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Agreed!
“There must be quite a few things a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them.”
— Sylvia Plath
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Lovely, didn’t know that quote, thank you 🙂
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Sometimes I am anxious about how difficult something is or will be and I procrastinate, thinking over and over how difficult it is; whereas if I get stuck in, the problem starts to dissolve (your #1). Thinking over issues from the past which are not fixable, short term relievers as you mention are fine, in moderation as they distract me. However, silly as it sounds, what I have found works better is accepting I have these thoughts and that I may as well get used to carrying them around. I used to spend a lot of energy trying to rid myself of them and they would still be there whenever I finished whatever distractive activity I had engaged in. Since I have accepted that they will not go away and I have stopped stressing that they are there, they are going away (or lessening in intensity). It is miraculous. 🙂
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I like the idea of accepting them when they are past unfixable things, If they don’t take up all my thinking time, otherwise I have to get busy with something/someone else. Make sense?
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Such a good post.
we all need to do this when those thoughts creep in.
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Thanks Gavin. Sometimes it takes a while to remember to do so though. 🙂
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i love this topic. and i love all of your suggested remedies. if i could add one … become present. move out of past worries and future problems and exist right now. when you are fully present then ask yourself “what is the best thing i can do right now to make things better?”
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I like it! Thank you Ian.
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Yes yes yes you are so right, I try not to allow things to fester myself although there are times when it is easier said then done.
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Thanks Joanne! I find that when things aren’t that easy and you emerge victorious in spite of that, the reward is all the sweeter! Don’t you think?
Diana xo
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Thank you for the excellent reminders, Diana.
Russ
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My pleasure Russ! Thanks for stopping by and for your gracious support!
Diana xo
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I’ve done many of the things your suggest. It is true that there is a point beyond self-reflection that turns into an unhealthy obsession.
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Hello and welcome Rebecca! Thank you for stopping by and chiming in on this post. I just went over to your blog for a peek – I love your sense of humour!
Cheers,
Diana
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Sometimes “unplugging” helps me. No blog, no FB, no forums, just real world real time.
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good point Mrs. F! Sometimes we’re anxious because we’ve taken too much on, so just as one would clean out the closet, we need to decide what our priorities are and rid the things that don’t serve us at the moment. I love it!
Diana xo
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🙂
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admonish myself…
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admonish yourself? What do you mean? That’s the loop you get into?
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If I get into a loop I will admonish myself to get out of it…
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ohhh…you give yourself a good talking to! 😉
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Oh, Diana. I know of what you speak. I have had an obsessive thought loop, or ten, in my life, and the number it can do on you is painful – and useless! Your list of coping tips is wonderful. I also liked Denise’s take on it above.
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Thanks Jennifer! It sure can be painful. Yes I like Denise’s take too!
Diana xo
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Hi Diana,
This is an interesting post to me. The ‘unhealthy thought loop’ you mentioned used to have a terrible hold on me. Your tips are good, although for me they would only provide temporary relief. What I’ve found to help for long-term is to dig into why the person or behavior bothered me so much. Often I would discover it was something about myself or my history that the other person was unearthing. Once I processed the feelings about my own junk, their behavior no longered bothered me -or was greatly diminished.
That’s not to say there still isn’t a time and a place for the wine and chocolate!! 😉
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Denise, that’s a great tip -especially where jealousy or thoughts of vengeance come into play. Thank you for sharing it! Just the other day, in a conversation with my brother, we talked about how often, when something bugs you about someone, it is also a quality you don’t like about yourself.
Diana xo
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LOL — I’m with Julie — brilliant post. Inspirational — and the wine and chocolate…. yum.
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(smiling) Thanks Louise! Really appreciated your post this morning too!
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The wine bit really appeals to me at the moment (haha!) and the rest of this post is pure gold Diana – thanks for being such an inspiration! Juliexxx
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Everything in moderation, right? (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)
Cheers!
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