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Achtung sie verlassen jetzt West Berlin, band-aid, Canada, Diana Schwenk, family, Germany, humour, Hump Day Chronicles, kissing bobos, love, memories, Mom had sex with Dad, Mother's Day, parents, scraped knee
…or should I say, thanks Mom for having sex with Dad?
But wait – I’m getting ahead of myself here…
A few days before Christmas back in ’38, little Margot was born in Germany to Ruth and Fritz. The first of six children born during, and post World War II, little Margot did not have an easy life. But my brother Michael and I are so glad she came to be; in spite of the gross and disturbing act she would later commit with Heinz.
I’ll get to that later.
In ’59 the not-so-little-anymore Margot married Heinz…
…and one year later they immigrated, or as we like to say in our family (ACHTUNG – SIE VERLASSEN JETZT WEST BERLIN) to Montreal, Quebec, Canada with twenty odd bucks in their pocket to start a new life as Canadians eh.
Below is what they looked like as Canadians.
Sometime in the spring, around May of ‘62, Margot had sex with Heinz and this somewhat disturbing act (at least to me, I’m sure they liked it alright) led to the birth of little Diana (me) on Valentine’s Day back in ’63.
Yup, that’s right, I’m a LOVE child!
Ever since that day Margot has been known as Mom, therefore she is qualified to be the beneficiary of Mother’s Day greetings. You would think Margot A.K.A Mom had learned her lesson. But no, she had sex with Heinz A.K.A Dad AGAIN in the fall, around September of ‘63! Doubly disturbing (both to Michael and I, I’m sure they liked it alright – why else would they do it AGAIN?!!) As a result, in June of ‘64 on a not-so-notable day, (as in not Valentine’s Day or Easter or even Groundhog Day) Michael was born, wrecking all possibilities for Diana to grow up in a pampered and spoiled way, like a princess who is continually catered to and pampered (oh I already said pampered – it’s still a raw subject for me)
Ohh-h but don’t you worry I got my revenge by giving Mom many a I-can’t-believe-anyone-in-their-right-mind-would-eat-that Mother’s Day breakfasts in bed and hordes of macaroni art. In later years my always-tough-you-can’t-get-me-to-break Dad couldn’t just stand by and witness these things anymore, so he began the annual hey-it’s-Mother’s Day-we’re-going-out-to-the-Chinese-restaurant-day tradition.
Anyway, what I really want to say is Happy Mother’s Day Mom!
Thanks for all the times you were there for us.
Thanks for every band-aid on every scraped knee.
For every bobo you kissed.
For teaching us how to clean our rooms every freakin’ Saturday over and over and over again until we got it right.
I love you!
Diana
~ HUMP DAY CHRONICLES ~
p.s. I googled kissing bobos as I wasn’t sure on the spelling
and it suggested kissing boobs
which I chose to totally disregard.
Jean said:
A wonderful tribute to your mother and father also. Since they came from Germany, did they go through Pier 21 in Halifax where a lot of the European immigrants passed through between WWI & after WWII?
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dianasschwenk said:
I don’t know Jean, they landed in Montreal – that’s all I know. Thank you for your kind comment.
Cheers,
Diana
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Linda Constantineau said:
Diana, that was lovely. I’m sure Margot will be teary-eyed reminiscing all these times and then have a good laugh .Mother’s Day right…….. I simply love your parents, they are beautiful people. As much as I care a lot for both of them, Margot is a joy to be with (let’s talk about her) it’s just that when you are with her, you can not be sad, her laughter lightens any mood, she is simply wonderful and I am so happy that you took time to discuss and write about them. Happy Mother’s Day to you Margot and to you Diana…….It was simply awesome and I have a big smile on my face…..reminiscing all you’ve said……thanks
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Linda, Happy Mother’s Day to you too!
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stuffitellmysister said:
Well I had no doubt you were a love child, Diana! ♥ Your mom will love this (I hope!) 😉 Happy Mother’s Day. Love. This . Post.
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks my dear! Yeah mom commented on it. I don’t appear to be in any kind of trouble… 🙂
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stuffitellmysister said:
haha!
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Margot Schwenk said:
Have a wonderful and happy mother’s day and thank you so much for the nice story.
Who said that we had sex Dad and I ? lol.
Miracles do happen and you are one of them and your brother and I am so happy to have you and your father is fully responsible for it.
Love
Mom and Dad.
oooooo
xxxxxxxx
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dianasschwenk said:
haha! I knew Dad was trouble from the beginning!
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russtowne said:
Fun post, thank your for sharing the fun photos too, Diana.
Russ
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Russ! It’s always awesome to see you over here!
xo
Diana
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elizabeth2560 said:
Great post and lovely photos. You look like you Mum.
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dianasschwenk said:
When I was younger people said I looked like my dad, as I get older they say I look like my mom!
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Jennifer's Journal said:
What a lovely looking couple your parents make! Thanks for sharing your precious family photos. Have a Happy Mother’s Day, D. 🙂
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you so much Jennifer and Happy Mother’s Day to you as well! 🙂
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Louise Gallagher said:
Seriously? Your parents had sex to create you? Oh dear. There goes that illusion about my birth. Shattered.
Thanks alot.
and btw — I think I mentioned Johnnie T first! You owe me that beer! 🙂
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dianasschwenk said:
Are you sure??? I posted around 4 am… 🙂
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tersiaburger said:
How blessed you are to have your Mom around for Mother’s Day
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dianasschwenk said:
Yes I know. My thoughts are with you and the boys too. How they must miss their mom…
xo
Diana
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Dave said:
Have a Happy Mother’s Day!
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dianasschwenk said:
Thank you very much!
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Dave said:
Nice story but, you’re not the only one. I just cannot, no…..would rather not, contemplate my parents having sex. I would rather think they just didn’t do that back then. Maybe they didn’t, and they’re hiding something. Maybe I was hatched, or something, and there was a whole other process.
All of that aside, I’m here with 2 younger brothers. They did it again, and I never knew……twice!
In any case, like you, I am quite fortunate as I get to wish my mother, Happy Mother’s Day, and she’s 88 y/o.
Thanks for a great story!
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dianasschwenk said:
Thanks Dave! It’s good to be understood. Maybe doing it more than once leads to a long life??? 😉
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Healthy A-Z said:
What a great post! That made MY day!! I’m still chuckling. A very Happy Mother’s Day to you!!
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dianasschwenk said:
(smiling) Glad to hear it and a very Happy Mother’s Day to you too! 🙂
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this is lemonade said:
Lol you sound like it’s going to take a good few years yet, to get over the trauma of ‘the act’… 😛
You look incredibly like your mum! What a lovely story. Happy mother’s day to her and to you! X
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dianasschwenk said:
Yeah, I’m never going to get over it haha! Thank you very much!
Cheers,
Diana
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cyclingrandma said:
Lovely story– and Happy Mother’s Day to you too!
Yeah- that whole parent sex thing is still weird no matter how old we kids are! ha ha
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dianasschwenk said:
It’s true! haha Thanks Lisa and Happy Mother’s Day to you too!
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