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200 words, behind us, bullshit, choose, courage, dream, friends, GK Chesterton, inside us, integrity, mindful, Purpose
The fatal metaphor of progress, which means leaving things behind us, has utterly obscured the real idea of growth, which means leaving things inside us. ~ Gilbert Chesterton
“I have to project a certain image,” I explained.
“There is a certain way I need to present myself.
If I don’t set an example…if I don’t draw the line, they won’t think I’m a professional.”
“BULLSHIT!”
I looked at her in stunned silence – exasperated.
Why didn’t she get it?
“What’s with all this executive crap? It’s not you,” she blurted that day three years ago.
Then softly, “You’ve lost so much of who you are – if you don’t snap out of it, you’ll be lost for good.”
Oh… now I get it!
She was right of course.
She never was one to mince her words and maybe that’s why we’ve been friends for over 20 years.
In my effort to be successful I was doing what they expected of me.
And in the doing, I’d lost the very passion that had brought me there in the first place.
Be careful who you choose to be.
Be mindful of the dreams you chase and why.
~ DIANA’S ENORMOUS BOOK OF QUOTES ~
talktodiana 
This is so true Diana! Aahhh.. I need to chew on this one. Sometimes we let life force us into compromise without realising and before we know it, we’re burnt out from trying hard to do something we don’t believe in and trying to conform to the way other people are doing things. I guess that’s how we lose our way. Phew!
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It’s a life-long learning and re-learning, isn’t it?
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Great thought to keep like a little charm, talisman.
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Thanks Jean – like something concrete that you can hold in your pocket. Someone gave me a stone once with the word courage on it that I carried in my front pocket and when I felt afraid, I’d stick my hand in my pocket and just touching the word gave me courage…
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Great post, and it gives me much to think about, just how do progress and growth work together vs fighting each other–while we lose? Hmmm.
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Thank you! Let me know what you come up with!
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🙂
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Nicely put – it’s easy to fall into that kind of thinking.
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Thank you Lorri! 🙂
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A further thought on from “I was doing what they expected of me” that I have been grappling with is wondering who ‘they’ are. By that I mean is that we sometimes do things in a certain way because underneath we think ourselves that is the way we ought to behave. Then one day, we wake up and say ‘why?’
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True enough!
For me, at the time, I was operating against my instinct, choosing to conduct myself, align myself, with the ‘experts’ or the latest trends were…funny thing was that it seemed so easy for me to discount my own experience…
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Was this regarding work or volunteering or personal?
I sometimes find it hard at ‘work’ in executive mode, when all the time inside inside I still feel like a little girl. I look around and think ‘where is the leader?’ and then I think ‘oh, that is right. It is me.’
It is pretty scary at times.
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It was work related. I think you can lead authentically though. You can take the latest practises with a grain of salt and pick and choose the parts that align with you, don’t you think?
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Agreed.
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First of all, this is a spot on post. Funny to read this post, I just discussed this issue with my friends. Everyone is projecting some sort of image all the time, at work and in privacy. Many of us see only the shiny side of other people’s lives and we think that’s all there is to it (facebook wall updates). That can makes us feel less and we also start changing ourselves, our dreams, values to suit the world. We even manage our image. I’ve noticed, a promotion into a manager position really messes with people’s minds; they begin to talk, walk, act differently….trying to be SOMEONE, instead of being themselves. Funny, but I think we all have an ability to sense when someone is not authentic, truly themselves. So really, we’re only cheating ourselves. Amazing friend you have D! 🙂 thanks for this post.
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Yes, isn’t that true? I know I can spot a phony a mile away! Yes, I do have an amazing friend – I love her – she’s like my sister! She even pisses me off like a sister at times LOL
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What a wise friend you have 😉 Great food for thought! ♥
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Yes she is! Sometimes when I’m in the midst of something, it’s to murky to see clearly. It is good to have a friend who can see clearly from the outside.
xo
Diana
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Yes it is….and that is “friend” enough to speak up!
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🙂
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fatal metaphor….hmmm… would it be inappropriate to press like ? 🙂
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I see you did press like…Why would it be inappropriate?
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like, the prince of metaphors… 🙂
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Oh! Ok I still don’t get, maybe I’m extra thick today. 🙂
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like is the word that indicates metaphors, therefore fatal. pushing the like button took courage because it might have been the last thing I ever did 🙂
I have an odd sense of humor. Mostly I only amuse myself…. sigh
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haha so simple it went right over my head – thanks for explaining it though… 🙂 You are a smart guy!
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naa… just quirky 🙂
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I have a friend named Adele and you remind me of her. I would like front-row seats if you are ever both in conversation about something, anything at all. 😉 It would be facinating!
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This is the story of my life… I have always tried to be who I am.. but have been told so many times that I am to stubborn and will not listen to others opinions… too quick to call a spade a spade etc… but how then must I be when I go out to sell my program or software.??? Me, or how the prospective client expects me to be??
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Very good question! I don’t know but maybe that’s why it takes a group or community to solve things. In a company you would have those who deliver on programs or products, those who market said programs and products, those who make sales calls, those who plot out the strategic goals for the next 3-5 years, those who…well you know what I mean…it’s not all one person.
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choosing to be me today … and for the rest of the week at least
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(smiling) enjoy it!
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will do
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Thought-provoking post as usual, D. We are always happiest when we live our lives being true to ourselves and our values.
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Well there’s a whole lot less stuff we have to remember when we are living our lives being true to ourselves, isn’t there? I mean when we’re towing the company line, or just doing what is expected, it’s harder to explain our actions when we’re questioned. 🙂
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Why are the short posts so often the best? Love this. I am still learning that the only thing I really need to be is me.
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Thanks Ian. I once read a quote that said something like: If you can’t say it simply perhaps you don’t really know the subject. Do you think that we often have a tendancy to over-complicate simple truths? It’s something I’ve been pondering lately.
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Isn’t that always the way, Diana? The struggle to align our inner being with our outer doing?
I struggle with it constantly and am grateful for your reminder today. Thanks my friend.
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You are so welcome. Yes, the struggle keeps us honest, doesn’t it? I guess it’s time to worry when we aren’t struggling anymore…but then that’s when friends come in, like my friend 3 years ago, and remind us and hopefully when they do, we can hear what they’re saying even when it’s something we don’t want to hear.
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