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…or do I?

I need your help.  And I’ve created a poll at the end of this post to make it easy for you to help – please be sure to share your opinion.

I have a series of… umm issues that I am currently facing.

Well issues might be too soft a word.

I have some serious DILEMMAS.

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Remnants of an IKEA loft bed

It seemed like a good idea at the time. I mean a loft bed in my daughter’s small room would create an area underneath for her desk and computer, thereby maximizing useable space. Brilliant!

But not only was this bed a b**tch to assemble alone, but as it turns out taking it apart reduced me to a sobbing lump on the floor!

I did manage to dismantle it but I can’t transport all the wood to the dump in my little car.

So now I have a neat little stack of wood against the wall.

Firewood anyone?

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Walls

Washing the walls is just not good enough anymore.

Dust seems to settle right where the two-by-fours are and is permanently staining the wall.

Deep scrapes from furniture, holes from previous pictures and shelves mar the surface.

How hard can it be to paint?

Other women do it.

Truth is I just don’t wanna!

Never mind all the business of piling furniture in the center of the room and taping baseboards (albeit cheap ugly ones) and finding big enough sheets to cover everything!

The fact remains – my walls need a makeover!

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Flooring

My flooring comes from the 12th century.

Ok, that’s a slight exaggeration.

But seriously, there are some parts of my carpet I cannot vacuum because the power-head on the vacuum sucks up the thread and unravels the carpet!

The linoleum is lifting at the seams and the original installers didn’t seem to care if the seams matched to the pattern.

I have a quilty-patch-worky floor!

I want hardwood floors or laminate or heck just strip it all down to the concrete, paint it a funky colour and lacquer it!

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Sliding doors

I love the idea of sliding doors. They let the light in and my southern exposure causes my plants to truly thrive!

But my sliding doors are always coming off the tracks.

Re-tracking (a word I’m pretty sure I just made up) takes a lot of strength and requires the following unorthodox method:

First, I have to pull them completely open. (this is usually done by sitting sideways beside them, bracing my feet on an unmovable piece of furniture and pulling as hard as I can in jerky, bicep-killing thrusts)

Then I have to push them to a closing position until they re-track.  (this is done in a standing position with my legs set in a sort of lunge position)

Granted, pushing is easier than pulling but I never know the exact moment they will re-track themselves and often I go flying!

New doors would be nice.

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Baseboards

Every single time I sweep/wash my floors or vacuum, loose baseboards come off the wall.

I have no idea what material they’re made of. I’ve tried securing them with glue – they won’t stick!

Nails, screws and thumbtacks are unable to penetrate them – they just bend and/or barely scratch the surface!

Whatever these baseboards are made of, manufacturers of armoured cars, panic rooms and end-of-the-world bunkers should have a serious look.

A few days ago, I hit an all-time low.

I duct taped the loose baseboard to the wall.

Oh the shame!

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Executive Summary

I’m ok with the fact that there are just some things that men do better.

Just as I know there are some things women do better.

My place is falling apart.

The walls need a makeover, the flooring needs to be re-done, baseboards need to be replaced and some items need to be removed all together.

And yes I know that some of you are thinking that I left out the most important reason for needing a man.

And you’re absolutely right!

It just feels awkward to write about it here.

Truth is I’m a bit embarrassed to mention it.

Oh what the hell!

Here it goes!

It might be degrading and inappropriate but…

I could use someone to take the trash out weekly or daily – you know depending on how capable they are. 😉

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Please take a moment to fill out this short survey

Now check out this cute song by Brad Paisley

Do I need a man around here?

or do I just need to get a grip?

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