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Look at this tree. It’s the only one still hanging on to its leaves. It’s resisting the inevitable…

In a recent post entitled Fear, I wrote about gathering up your courage to overcome your fears in order to face and change outcomes.

In this post, I would like to explore the things we cannot change.

This tree is hanging on to the warmth of autumn

I’m not a fan of winter.

Yes I know, some of you love it.

One only has to look at my

Twitter name @wantsummerback to know that I love summer.

But all the fist-clenching,


eyes tightly closed praying

wishing and hoping

will not stop the onset of winter.

Winter will come anyway.


Winter is a metaphor to me for the things I cannot change.

Life throws us some doozies, doesn’t it?

Job loss


Relationship loss

Financial struggles

The passing of loved ones.

And just like winter, they come and there’s not a damned thing we can do about it.

Nope – there are some things you just can’t change.

Not all is lost though, not as long as you can do the one thing that humans have been doing since the dawn of man.

The one thing that has, in my opinion, ensured the survival of mankind.

You can adapt.


Back before my daughter was born…

before I was pregnant, before I met a man and fell in love, I had decided that I would never have children.

I just didn’t think I had that nurturing gene that all the other women I’d met seemed to have.

Well you know how the story goes…

Girl decides not to have children.

Girl meets man and falls in love…one thing leads to another and girl becomes pregnant.

So I adapted. IΒ became OK with that. I began to plot out how our little family life would play out.

I got excited and really started looking forward to having a baby.

No matter what came, the man I loved and I would figure out how to handle any situation.

When I was six months pregnant, my relationship with the father of my baby ended.

There was nothing I could do. It happened and that was that. The end.

So I adapted.

Don’t misread me – I was devastated, but once I accepted the situation, I began to plot out how our little family life would play out.

When they put my little angel girl in my arms on that snowy November day, I couldn’t help but fall in love with her.

It was my responsibility to take care of her.

I had no choice but to figure it all out.

Me and Michaela in the liquor store – it’s not as bad as it looks!

Sure it wasn’t easy.

It wasn’t an ideal situation.

It’s tough to be a working single parent.

And it’s tough to be the child of a single parent too.

But you guessed it – my little girl adapted and grew up (maybe a little faster than other kids) into a beautiful, intelligent young woman.

She is a gift to me – the best thing I’ve ever done – and I’m so proud to be her mom.


The human spirit is amazing – it endures and overcomes.

I’ve seen it with people experiencing homelessness.

I’ve watched in awe as families and organizations regroup and pull together in crises and do what they never imagined they could do.

I’ve read about it – here – in your blogs and have been amazed with your strength in tougher situations than I have ever had to face.

It’s never easy. It takes its toll.

There is no manual with step-by-step instructions to follow.

But the human spirit is amazing – it adapts and endures.


Not a great video clip – I probably don’t have a film career in my future

but it does afford you the opportunity to hear my voice!

Look at this tree.

It’s the only one still hanging on to its leaves.

It’s resisting the inevitable

it’s hanging on to the warmth of autumn.

But as you can see…

winter has invaded our city – albeit before the season is official.

Doesn’tΒ that tree know that a time of renewal will come?

Β Makes me wonder about the things I’m resisting.

How about you?