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answer, Diana Schwenk, Hokey Pokey, left foot, lost, question, whole self
“Wisdom from the Hokey Pokey. Put your whole self in” ~ a coffee shop sign
I can’t put my finger on it. But it’s there, at the tip of my tongue, or stuck in my throat like a lodged chip that I can’t spit out or swallow.
Something is off. Not off enough to be SCREAMING. Because then I would know what it is.
But it’s off. It’s unaligned.
Hokey Pokey (Photo credit: jkarsh)
Somehow I’ve betrayed myself or talked myself into believing or…
It nags at me, it pokes and jabs, trying to get my attention.
I can’t see it…
…or I don’t want to see it.
I can’t put my finger on it.
But it’s there, buried in my head
like a glimpse of a dream, my brain struggles to recount the details, my heart longs to find it again.
What have I lost – carelessly squandered?
It’s hard to find the answer when the question isn’t even clear.
I need to find a way
So I can live fully in the moment and
engage, relate and belong
I need to put my whole self in again.
Do you have your whole self in?
talktodiana 
Hi Diana. So sorry to hear that you were feeling a little bit under par. I have a funny story to cheer you up.
I know what you mean about over-analyzing at times. I do the same. And I also feel I have to stay the stoic me at all times, cannot buckle too much, have to stay strong. I get through the hard times or the fuzzy times times by finding some meaning, some reason, some philosophical tangent for what is happening to me and then i try and come up with some positive aspect. So lately when there has been a LOT of introspection, and a LOT of times when everything does not feel right, it has been difficult to wonder how I could reason myself out of the gloom. I began retreating into myself more and more. Then when I was in the middle of all that retreating and introspection stuff I began thinking of myself as being in a cocoon healing. I told myself that it was OK to shut myself away and to go into a cocoon-like state because I was in a process of healing. I knew that if I allowed myself time to heal and and to go through a metamorphosis then eventually i would emerge as a beautiful butterfly and I would fly. So suddenly as I thought that I began feeling positive again and I began to feel good about myself. I felt so positive in fact that when I saw my son yesterday I happened to mention it to him.
‘But Mum, what on earth do you want to become a butterfly for? They break out of their cocoons, fly around playing the mating game for a few days and then they die. You were meant for better things than that!’ Talk about true science taking the wind out of my metaphorical sails!!!
Anyway, I thought it was a good metaphor so for the moment I am sticking with it. I thought that I would share it with you, because I am sure after a bit of time to your self, you will work out what ever it is that was bothering you and you will start flying again ……. and for more than a few days I am sure!
Bye for now …. 🙂
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That’s a great story Elizabeth – thank you for sharing it with me. I like the butterfly analogy! The great thing about anologies is they don’t have to follow the facts right down to the letter. Have a wonderful Sunday. 🙂
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Hi Diana, I’m not sure if we can ever put our whole selves in. Do we ever know our whole selves? I think that is part of life’s journey – discovering who we really are, and for most it takes a lifetime. Nice post. 🙂
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Hey Stuart, thanks for reading and your thought provoking question. I guess when I say put my whole self in I’m talking about being present in the moment or fully committed to something, etc….
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On that level I agree 100% 🙂
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Fantastic title and post. 🙂 It can be easy to dip our toes in the water, but trying to stay safe or growing complacent doesn’t make dreams come true.
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Thanks August!
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Know the feeling. In my case I used to over-over-over analyze stuff like that, but now I just am WITH it instead of IN it. If I just leave it alone, do something else than analyze, I normally find the answer to the “ants” within short period of time (couple of days or a week). Gutfeeling too is helpful. Don’t know if you are fan of it. Really liked this post. Hope you figure it out. Let us know!
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Oh I almost totally operate on gut feeling and instinct! Where facts and data are needed, I find the data that supports my gut feeling. 😉
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Right there with you, D.
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Thanks Brigitte!
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I think most of us can relate to this and have had moments when we have felt like this, yes even me……………
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Thanks for stopping by and helping me to not feel alone in this. 🙂
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I get those feelings sometimes, but for me there is usually a reason behind it. Sometimes it takes a bit of time to figure it out. Just drives one a bit nuts in the mean time. Have fun today, put in on the back burner, and voila! you will probably find the ants in the pants are gone on vacation! 😉
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Sounds like a great plan – on it!
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Great post. I can really relate to this as well. I need some wandering, like I told Magnolia Beginnings to figure out what that feeling is about. Glad to know I am not alone.
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Just suggested that to you in response on my blog, : )
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hey if this travelling includes Mojittos I’m in!
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I’ll start chilling the glasses!
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Ok I liked you right off, but now I really LIKE you! 🙂
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The feeling is mutual, my friend.
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🙂 My escape hatch!
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me too – saves me from thinking I’m going mad. 😉
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some times quiet introspection helps.
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yes but I can only do so much of that – it’s like I have ants in my pants!! 😉
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yikes! 🙂
the solution to ants would be removing the pants ( smile )
but from the computer guy perspective what changed recently. Find the delta ( change ) and analyze that.
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LOL! thanks Mr. Literal 🙂 (keeping my pants on) I get like this every now and then and one of my problems is over analyzing…so I do give it some thought and if I come up empty..I send up a quick prayer..who knows..maybe someone else is going through something rough…maybe even you. 🙂 Today I’m heading off to the mountains to spend some time with old friends who are visiting from abroad. Maybe our visiting/chatting will reveal the mytery.
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you are in good hands! have a great day – always enjoy your posts….
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Thanks! And I enjoy yours!
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watch out for ants
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Watch out for ants ahahaha! You’re one of those people who need the last word aren’t you? Me too hehehe
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🙂
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we can all learn from the hokey pokey love the sign!!!!
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Yes – I love the sign too – I want to hang it off my balcony!
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or opposite the toilet
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haha! That’s where my toilet paper roll is and I need that! 😉
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true , above it 🙂
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I don’t know, seems a strange place to be having deep and profound thoughts. 😉
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well men seem to spend hours there
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yes it’s good to be a woman!
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yes it is 🙂
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Diana, I too experience those moments of unnamed, unknown ‘nagging’. It’s as if, as you so beautiful describe it, there is a doubt within me, a place of knowing that I can’t see, and I keep niggling at it to figure it out. Usually, the only thing I can do is to breathe, meditate and let it pass through. Sometimes, I never do find ‘the cause’. And that’s okay.
I love the expression of ‘putting my whole self in’. Well done!
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I love the idea of ‘letting it pass through’! And you’re right, often I don’t ever know what it was. Thanks, as always, for your wise and encouraging words. 🙂
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This is both powerful and mysterious – what is going on?
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a mystery to me too….just a nagging feeling…ever get those…ever sad or anxious and you don’t why?
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Yes but usually for a reason. What’s haunting you do you think?
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I really don’t know. It’ll work out, I’ll figure it out, I’m sure…
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