I usually write my Hump Day Chronicles post on Sundays. That way I have until Wednesday to proofread it and edit it and add pictures.
Seems like a good strategy to me….
But my mind is blank – I’m actually panicking!
Have I said everything that I have to say? I’m seriously stumped. I can’t think of a single thing to write about.
Well I can. There are some deeply personal things I could write about. Things that have literally changed my life.
But just the thought of writing about them has given me sweaty palms.
I’m not sure I want to share them with the great, big WWW.
Not sure I want to make myself THAT vulnerable.
Not yet, anyway…
But they would be great stories.
My mind would spit out words and examples quicker than I could type them.
Maybe somebody out there would comment on them saying they don’t feel so alone anymore.
And then I wouldn’t feel so alone anymore, right?
It would be meaningful, genuine and from the heart and people respond to that kind of thing, don’t they?
I know I do.
But I don’t have the courage. Or I don’t want people to know. Or I’m afraid people will judge me.
Or I think they won’t like me or respect me anymore – that they’ll just shake their heads in shock and walk away.
(Gulp) They might find out I really don’t have it as ‘together’ as I like to let on.
It’s really ironic though. Honestly, just the other day I said to someone:
“Why do you care so much about what other people think? Just be who you are, knowing that sometimes you’ll mess up but…you can always apologize afterwards if you do.”
Yet here I am, petrified of what you might think.
I hate when I do that! Especially since courage is the virtue I admire above all others.
Isn’t that the way it usually goes though?
You give your opinion about something then suddenly you’re faced with a similar situation.
And you don’t have ‘the balls’ to take your own advice? I know it happens to me on occasion.
Mental Note to self: Stop giving advice!!!
OK – it’s not that drastic Diana…step away from the keyboard and take a deep breath.
Maybe I’m not quite ready to share some things just yet. But maybe that’s OK.
It doesn’t make me a bad person, does it? Perhaps I’ll be ready someday…
…Until then, would ya look at that – I’ve written my post!
What makes you angry at yourself?