Tags
alone, Diana Schwenk, life, lonely, married, Relationships, single
Being single is not a crime. ~ Fadly Molana
I am single (alone), strong and fiercely independent and for the most part – I am content.
I am healthy. I have awesome friends. I have a family that cares about me.
If I were to be perfectly honest though,
every now and then I am lonely.
I imagine how wonderful it would be
to share my life with someone.
with someone who would:
hold me when I’m sad, or afraid or at my wit’s end;
tell me that everything’s going to be alright;
challenge me, push me, help me to grow;
believe in me when I can’t or won’t believe in myself.
But I know some married people who:
feel lonely in their relationship;
envy me because I am alone;
long for the freedom they imagine I have;
wish, for just once, they had the opportunity to make a decision
based solely on their own needs and desires.
Single or in a relationship
We all feel lonely sometimes
This inspiring video is for all of you who are alone or feel lonely.
What do you think? Does contentment depend on your relationship status?
talktodiana 
So, so true. The grass will always be greener on the other side, but sooometimes the non-single side seems so much greener. 🙂
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Yes. Sometimes it does.
Diana xo
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Love this post – I too am a mostly content single woman and mom. I love my life! I’ve found so much joy in being myself, by myself. But sometimes, in the lonely hours of the night…
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Yes…I hear you. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing a bit of your story.
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Until I found contentment as a single woman, I couldn’t find it in a relationship. It took me a long time to turn loneliness into solitude. Now, even though I’m married, I cherish alone time and my individuality. Posts like these are so important. Thanks!
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Thank you and thanks for sharing your story – I love hearing the experiences of others!
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Wow – I thought this post was awesome BEFORE I watched the video. That is spectacular. It reminds me of when I was 26 and moved away from the comfort of the east coast and first learned the joys of being alone. Such a beautiful post. Thank you!
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The video rocks eh? I’ve shared it many times on facebook!
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Totally. I LOVE it!!!!! Thanks for sharing!
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Diana , loneliness is a funny thing. I feel all the above things at times. I am married and yet sometimes I feel alone. Sometimes I enjoy being alone. And other times I long for the freedom of a single person. I think as long as we have the resources to deal with each issue in a healthy manner its OK and only natural….doesn’t help when you are feeling alone.
Maybe you could help me out with some advice then if you have the time. I am a leader on a board for a local charity fundraiser and I need help or ideas. Care to help?
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I feel all the above as a single person as well! Maybe I can help…email me at talktodiana2004@yahoo.ca and give me an idea of what you’re thinking?
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Ok Thanks! If you get an email from Andy McCleaf it is me. Right now I am doing work for the American Lung Association. I’ll be in touch…Thanks!!
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PS. Your post did not come through on my reader today; do not know if this is a word-press glitch at my end or your end.
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wordpress is acting weird for everyone. I don’t get all posts in my reader either and a few comments from people who have commented before are ending up in my spam folder. Fun stuff!
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Great post, I was married for 37 years – not my choosing to end it. Loved the companionship and closeness that marriage brought. However, I am now enjoying the freedom of choosing my own ‘today’, rediscovering myself, and being able to follow my own passions. It is a bit scary in that this ‘being single’ is starting to feel quite comfortable and maybe a way I will now want to stay. Especially it is great for the first time in my life to have “the opportunity to make a decision based solely on my own needs and desires”….
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That’s a long time to be married and then have to be single! I’m glad you are feeling more comfortable and wish you great happiness and joy no matter your relationship status. 🙂
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Just thought I would add a postscript after reading others comments as obviously there are different situations of being single, that is: never been in a close relationship / had a previous happy close relationship / had a previous unhappy or difficult relationship / had a close relationship that soured. A previous close relationship or lack of may colour our attitude to our own singledom. Similarly, for those in marriage, the type of relationship you currently have, may set you up for either a yearning for the freedom of singledom; or conversely appreciating the closeness of what you have.
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Very good observations – thank you!
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I don’t think it’s relationship that defines it. It’s how we are and our attitude. A healthy relationship can sustain anything. And… We are relational beings. The healthier we are within ourselves,the healthier our relationships. – and the less lonely we feel in or rut of relationship.
Good post!
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Thanks Louise!
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I tell my girls it is important to live, and love,and laugh, and that if you never marry live the live ahead of you fully and joyfully.
But I prefer being married.
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oops ( live the life ), sorry!
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I read somewhere once that married men live longer than single men and single women live longer than married women….weird eh?
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laundry kills?
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hahaha, I don’t know…well I have some theories but….
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love to hear them.
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in a nutshell without scientific data to back me: women are nuturerers for the most part (not me so much) so they take care of their husbands and families when they’re married, sometimes making themselves the last priority. Single women can be more focussed on taking care of their own needs (less work when you only have yourself to worry about) Married men, it follows are taken care of. So single men fend for themselves and look after their own needs, it’s more stressful without a partner. Don’t get me wrong I think married women also benefit from having a partner in the bedroom and that whole take the trash out thing! 😉
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some of us are very good about taking out the garbage. Sometimes I even take out two cans at once which I am sure must count for something!
unscientifically, and more seriously, I think that women also benefit significantly from social circles of women.
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Yes. I feel bad for men that they do not have the same type of relationships with each other as women do!
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men don’t have enough words to sustain that kind of friendship
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Touche! Funny Guy! 😉
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looks funny when I re-read it, but it is true.
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Lovely. I’ve never married so I can’t even fathom having to share the decisions in my life. I have lived where my career and interests have taken me. There are times though when I wonder what it would be like to have a partner in this life. I get my family fix at Christmas with the nieces and nephews, I always hate leaving them, but once back home I love my independence.
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Yeah I hear you! As always, thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. 🙂
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I don’t think I’ve ever felt more alone that when I was married. At least when you’re single there’s that possibility that life will take a turn for the better. I suppose a good relationship is the ideal but for now I’m enjoying getting to know myself and the uncertainty. Another really insightful post. Thank you.
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Thank you for your comment and I bet getting to know yourself will be well worth the journey. 🙂
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Your posts are like a written work of art…I hang off your every word. You know how to capture an audience Frau Diana!
Your question today is as broad as life itself…and impossible to define into a single answer. For me, I am content when in a relationship. I like to share, I like to give, I like to receive, I like to love. As a package I become content!
But being in a relationship also restricts you at certain times. It can restrain you from following your dreams.
As I have mentioned before…I like the best of both worlds…and unable to decide. But I do know one thing, I can feel very alone at times…and yearn the closeness of a woman. But I quickly block those thoughts out…and concentrate on whatever is closest at hand.
Content? Sometimes!
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Oh my your kind words are making me blush! Thank you as always, for your honest and thoughtful responses from your personal life. 🙂
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Lovely post, as always. This one hits home a little for me. I got married five years ago and the grass is always a little greener on the other side it seems. I love my husband and our marriage is good, but the fact that I have to make decisions with another persone – especially major life decisions, is a shift that I still struggle with. I guess it is just best to understand that there are sacrifices that come with being alone and sacrfices to having a life partner. So enjoy what you have now and change it if the balance of good to bad shifts substantially.
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Yes it would seem so. Thanks for your thoughtful and wise comment!
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No problem. I think some of the challenge stems from the fact that I was single for so long. But I also think that my husband and I have dramatically different decision-making styles. I make quick decisions and move on without looking back very much. It takes him longer. This works out well in many cases, but sometimes it is pure torture for each of us! There are days when I miss being single, but on balance, I am pretty happy where I am. I suppose there are always going to be growing pains in any relationship and you just figure out how to navigate that. Thanks for “listening” and starting the discussion. It’s a good one!
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thank you for contributing!
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Spending time alone is healthy, it connects you to your self, and teaches you how to navigate the inner you. Connect to the inner light… the power within. So when you are with another, those moments are more profound.
Those who have a difficult time navigating relationships, haven’t truly connected to themselves yet. For when they do, making a decision based on a need… is simple.
This is your life, you can create it in any form you choose. Be the beautiful woman you are… be the wisdom.
Blessings…
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Thanks so much for dropping by and reading my post! Peace to you, Diana
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I’m also single and fairly content about it. But i do also think in a similar way to you that it would be nice to have someone there in the everyday things as well as the really difficult or exciting days.
I often justify my being ‘alone’ with the fact that I don’t really know myself well enough to fully let someone else in to my world that a relationship would entail. Joking with friends that I can barely look after myself so how could I expect to add someone else to this mix. But it is said with a certain amount of sadness, under all the smiling sometimes it is harder to be alone.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts,
Take care
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I hear you on that….Isn’t it a great video though? As always, it’s good to hear from you (I was just thinking about you yesterday)…peace, Diana
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Hey, did you migrate your blog? It looks different and I tried to leave a comment but it’s fighting with me! I like the song you posted…it’s beautiful!
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For some reason, I misread your title as “Does contentment drip” – not sure why. I immediately saw my mistake but not before thinking yes it does drip! Go figure!
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Drip? What would that look like? I mean dripping contentment….. 🙂
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Dunno – people often see contentment as a bit boring/drippy? I see contentment as something so undrippily wonderful and almost unnattainable that it keeps me constantly wishing …
I don’t think you can ever achieve contentment if it depends on someone else and that’s the message I get from your post.
Hope this comment is okay – I am very good at mis-reading!
You are the best!
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No, no, no – you’re the best! I agree and love your thoughtful comments!
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phew – thought i might’ve put my foot in my mouth – haha!
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