Earlier this year, I celebrated my forty-ninth birthday with a bottle of red wine and the company of a dear friend. Even though my next birthday isn’t until 2013, I’m already thinking of 50 and I am not ready for it. I don’t feel old enough to be fifty. But as my dear friend reminded me, hitting those zero humps is always challenging. Since then I’ve been thinking about how fast time passes. I didn’t always feel that way. When I was thirteen I decided that the perfect age would be twenty-five. Each year that went by felt like an eternity and I thought I would be a teenager forever. “Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up,” my mom would say. “Enjoy these carefree years.” I wouldn’t have any of it. I dreamt about what my life would be like at twenty-five. I would have an awesome job. I’d be married with three kids – two boys and one girl. It would be perfect.
“To our Dearest Diana,” read the card from mom and dad when I turned twenty-five. “We both wish you a wonderful birthday. You’re a quarter of a century old now. Wow makes us feel so ancient. By the time I was your age I had been married for four years and had two kids. When can we expect grandchildren? Love Mom and Dad.”
Ok so I wasn’t married. I didn’t have kids. And I definitely did not have the perfect job.
When I turned twenty-nine I cried and cried until there were no tears left– my life as I knew it was over. I was soon going to be old. I was sure that when I was out in public people would be thinking “Wow, she’s old!” But turning thirty wasn’t bad. In fact it felt somewhat like a ‘Rite of Passage.’ I became a mother. I felt more confident. I walked taller and straighter. I knew who I was. I was unstoppable! For the first time I was glad to be a woman. (Previously I had wished that I had been born a man because people just seemed to take men more seriously). I blossomed in my thirties and I loved it. I had become aware though, that time seemed to pass more quickly now.
Before I could grasp the concept, forty came. And that was OK too! I was somewhat surprised with that, but it truly was OK. People would say, “Wow, you’re forty? You don’t look forty. What’s your secret?” I felt good and in many ways I was in the best shape of my life. I started an exercise regime and began eating healthier foods. I introduced high heels and tailored and fitted clothing into my wardrobe. I had embraced my feminine side! My Forties brought power to me – I am Woman, hear me roar. It was exhilarating!
But now here I sit at forty-nine, trying to imagine the card from my parents when I hit the BIG 50 in about ten months. I’m sure it will start out with something like, “Our Dearest Diana. You’re a half-century old!!! Where the (insert explicative) did the time go?” Ok maybe not those words exactly – but something along those lines!
Of this I am sure – I’m not ready for fifty. So I have decided that early next year I will be celebrating my forty-tenth birthday and maybe by the time I’m forty-thirteen or so I will have become comfortable with fifty.
To read an article about the perfect age for women by Stella Brikey (via The Citizen) click here
What do you think is the perfect age? Was there an age that was difficult for you? What was it?
russtowne said:
Forty tenth sounds like a good idea. That would make my birthday next month my forty fifteenth. So I’m older than you, but before you get cocky just remember that the percentage difference between our ages shrinks every year! ;-D!
Russ
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dianasschwenk said:
cocky? me? I would never pick on an old guy! Haha!
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broadsideblog said:
I still so clearly recall some of my birthdays — age 10, 16, 25, 30. I turn (shriek) 55 in June…I plan to blog it – not a birthday, a fucking speed limit!
I am usually mistaken for someone 10 to 15 years younger, which I quite enjoy.
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dianasschwenk said:
Love the title 😉
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billgncs said:
Wisdom is good. By now it is accruing. Honesty is good, and now we don’t have to pretend to be what we aren’t. Live and laugh and love. We can just smile and leave the rest to the young people trying to figure it out ( smile )
I enjoyed your post.
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dianasschwenk said:
Yes, there’s something to be said for being who you are! Thanks for reading my post and your lovely comment.
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jmgoyder said:
I actually felt quite relieved when I turned 50 (I am now 53) because it finally seemed okay to have a bit of a flabby stomach and some wrinkles on my face. Weird huh!
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dianasschwenk said:
Not weird at all! I always ‘freak out’ a little at the turn of decades and it all works out in the end. So you’re 40-13 huh?
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jmgoyder said:
haha!
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Louise G. said:
And 35 was horrendous for me! And in the end, it was what inspired me to get published for the first time!
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Louise G. said:
Believe me…. getting ready for 50 is nothing to getting ready for 60….!!!!!
Happy Belated B-day — any age looks good on you my friend. You are perfect, just the way you are, whatever age you are!
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dianasschwenk said:
No way! 60? You’re hot! 🙂 I like my way of dealing with 50 by calling it 40-10. My friend Helga said I should call it 25-25 but too many syllables for me! Perhaps when 60 comes you can call it 40-20 or 50-10!
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Rob said:
Forty was difficult for me. I was on my own in Singapore and very lonely for all sorts of reasons that had little to do with my age. But my fortieth birthday itself was terrible. One guy from the office came for a drink after work because he thought everyone would be going. When he realised it was just the two of us, he finished his beer quickly and went home. I finished a lot of beers quickly and woke up with the mother of all hangovers.
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dianasschwenk said:
Wow nice guy – NOT. I read somewhere once that 30 is the hard age for women and 40 is the one that throws men off….
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Rob said:
I don’t bear him any animosity. I didn’t know him that well and he obviously thought it was an office party. It wasn’t, so he left. I doubt my birthday would have been significantly better had he stayed.
I don’t know about the 30W vs 40M idea. I think it depends where your mind and your life is at the time.
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dianasschwenk said:
So true! Thanks so much for stopping by to check out my blog!
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